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Trying for a baby and a new job

(6 Posts)
Munron2212 Sun 11-Dec-16 22:26:15

Hi guys just joined for a bit of advice it's my first post so sorry if this is the wrong category or place there are so many to choose from!

I'm getting married in January, we were planning on trying for a baby shortly after the wedding. We were trying last year but went back on the pill when we started planning the wedding.
The plan was to work where I am until the maternity leave and then find something new after that. Only problem is I'm absolutely miserable at work it's giving me horribly bad anxiety. I know getting pregnant could take months so I can't stay there and be this unhappy just for the maternity leave.
A friend of mine is getting a promotion and is looking for someone to replace her, I know she works in a good environment and while the job may not be exciting I know I could be happy there. If I get the job I will be starting just after the wedding. Had a chat with my fiancée and he agreed it may be a good idea to hold off trying until the summer. My friend has now told me she is worried I'll get the job and end up pregnant within a year and it'll look bad on her for recommending me. Something I totally understand.
I can't stay in my current job but I hate the thought of waiting another year before trying for a baby I'm also weirdly concerned we won't be able to have children and I've always wanted the first before 30 because I want a few years gap between two.
I'm 27 and I only really have one friend with a baby who doesn't work so just looking for some opinions?

Thanks!

mouldycheesefan Tue 13-Dec-16 17:30:07

Have you worked put what you would get financially if you took the other job and got pg before you qualified for maternity pay? That would be a factor for me.
Re looking for a other job after mat leave, you may want to work part time and it's easier to go part time in current role than look for a part time job

SunnySomer Tue 13-Dec-16 17:38:40

As mouldy cheese says - I was in a similar boat but 10 years older; decided the baby wasn't going to happen so changed jobs and ended up pregnant within a month.
I only got SMP (I had been with previous employer 15 years so would have got a full year off, plus excellent negotiating position for good hours on return to work). As it was I really annoyed my new boss - in ways I can understand with hindsight - and also my pregnancy wasn't brilliant so at exactly the time I was wanting to impress I was being a bit flaky, disappearing for appointments, feeling extremely tired so unable to commit to some long hours that needed doing. In short - it wasn't ideal.

thankgoodnessforeurope Tue 13-Dec-16 19:13:37

NC in case this it's me.

I'm director of a department and heavily involved in HR. Apart from not being eligible for enhanced maternity pay for a certain amount of time, if you fell pregnant there should be no other impact on your job prospects, nor on your friend for recommending you (and I'd be appalled at anyone in my department suggesting such a thing!).

Your job would be completely protected, as if you weren't pregnant. I honestly would not be giving any of that a second thought.

Your only concern should be can you afford to go on maternity leave with only SMP (which is all the majority of people get anyway)?

You are allowed to look for jobs, change jobs, progress your career etc while trying for a baby or while pregnant! It's that simple!

Attending a maternity appointment is also a protected and statutory right! It would not make you appear flakey.

If "in reality" people don't think that way, well fine - but in any professional context no one would ever be allowed to voice that opinion or even allude to it!

I hope brexit doesn't lead to a worsening of this! I'm in ROI, thank goodness, and I'd never worry about this!

Lonoxo Wed 14-Dec-16 16:41:20

I'm wrestling with this one too.

If you get pregnant within a year, you have 9 months of pregnancy so could be there 1 - 2 years before going a maternity leave. I know former colleagues who have gone onto new jobs and left those jobs after a year. One was a guy who had to commute so perhaps the commute was tougher than first anticipated, another was a younger woman mid-20s so I can only assume the job wasn't right for her or she got a better offer. So if the company did hire somebody else, there's no guarantees that they will stay longer than you. I would apply for the job. You might not get it and could be stressing about nothing.

I'm letting fate decide (I'm mid thirties). I ve made a conscious decision to only apply for jobs that I really want or companies that I can see myself working at for a while. I wouldn't take any job just to bail out.

Munron2212 Mon 19-Dec-16 12:19:15

Thanks for everyone's help. I know I've been a bit slow to jump back on here.
I applied for the job and we'll just have to see what happens smile I'll wait until I will have been there a year then I get the standard pay at least. The job will be a step down money wise anyway and I won't be able to go part time straight away if I wanted but the pros are outweighing the negatives of my current job at the moment.
I could stay where I am and try now then get another tber job after maternity leave. But the job is here now a baby could take any amount of time.
I guess there's never the perfect time but we decided not to let what people might think delay things. Can wait it out until I'd get my smp and go from there smile

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