Want to quit, opinions needed!

[couchtofivek]

Hi,

I'm in a quandary. Last year I availed of a good redundancy package from a place I'd worked for 17 years. My main reason for taking it was because the hours were extremely family unfriendly and my DH works long hours too, last night he didn't get home until 9.30pm for example.
The plan was to try pick up two or three days' work, enough to keep me working but also enough to spend more time with our 6 and 4 year old.

One week after I finished in that job I was offered a job in a similar industry. I hadn't been looking!
It was full time but the money was good and I would be guaranteed to be home by 7pm. I thought I may as well give it a shot so I took it. Took a month or so to get to grips with everything in a new place but it was fine. Again, I found working fulltime hard though, because of DH's job I ended up doing pretty much everything at home too.

A few months in I got a call about a another job I'd applied for a couple of years ago. This one offered flexi time so I could finish at 4pm. It also promised the option of applying for part time, job sharing etc.
So I resigned from the new job and took it. I felt horrible leaving the new job, the people I worked with were so lovely, the boss wasn't annoyed I was leaving but said he was sorry to see me go.

In short, the 'ideal' flexi job is awful. I've been there four months and I can't describe how much I hate it. Everything about it, barring walking out the door at 4pm, is terrible. I don't want to go into too much detail but suffice to say it's truly a bad fit.
I've asked about part time and been refused. Apparently the work I do is too specialised (it's not).

Now I feel horribly stuck. I walked from a job that I quite enjoyed (apart from the longer days) for this and I regret it so much.

I want out. DH is so disappointed, as am I, that this ideal job isn't working out for me. He's keen for me to stick it out a bit longer and see if it improves but my mental health is suffering and knowing I'm stuck fulltime there for the foreseeable is making me feel worse.

There isn't any work available in the old place at the moment, or anywhere else like it, (I've been looking!) so if I quit I'm out of work for now. Financially we'd be ok, we wouldn't have lots to spare but we'd be fine.
DH also thinks I'd go crazy as a sahm. He might be right but with both kids in school I wouldn't have a problem filling my mornings.

Would I be crazy to quit this job? Every fibre of my being tells me it's not right for me but it seems such a waste, having left a good, better paying job for it in the hope that I'd get the flexibility I really wanted.

I can't believe I've fucked up so spectacularly. I'm usually very risk averse and having taken a chance I'm so upset it's backfired so badly.

[tribpot]

Well, it's certainly not good to have two very short assignments on your CV, even after the very long previous one. I would be wondering if there was some underlying reason why you weren't able to stick it out at one place now.

There's also the well-worn belief that people appear more attractive to an employer if they are currently in work - I think you will make life even harder for yourself if you're looking for work with two short contracts AND being out of work to contend with.

That being said, I don't think you should stick forever at a job that you hate. What I would probably do is agree with your DH that you have a hard limit of Christmas. In the next three months (bloody hell, it really is 3 months tomorrow) you will keep looking for work in the hope of being able to transition from one job to another. But if nothing is doing by Christmas you want to leave and take stock. This should hopefully remove the feeling of doom that you are trapped forever.

In the meantime, I would be looking at freelancing options, i.e. where you don't have to do an interview and explain gaps on your CV. Even if your work isn't as specialised as the current employer is making out, I guess it's reasonably specialised? Is there a freelance market?

[couchtofivek]

The perception of job hopping bothers me too. I was 17 years in one place (working in various departments, promotions etc). The second job I'd still be working in if this one hadn't come through so unexpectedly with the promise of "family friendly options".
I'm truly the last person to want to job hop!

The reason my boss thinks my job is specialised is because neither she nor the other person I work with have any experience whatsoever in the field. I'm not joking. It's a public service position and they've vastly overestimated the amount of work involved. I obviously didn't know this when I took the position, I'd have run a mile if I'd known how dysfunctional the unit was.

I think your suggestion of sticking it out until Christmas is a good idea. At least if I have an end in sight I won't feel quite as awful.
I'll look into the freelancing option too.

[flopsypopsymopsy]

What's wrong with two short assignments on your CV? Your explanation is perfectly plausible in this day and age. There are plenty of jobs out there that have ridiculously unrealistic workloads. I have several friends who are killing themselves/completely miserable as they don't want to be seen as job hoppers. More fool them.

[EBearhug]

Could you go back to your managers and show how the specialised parts of your role could be managed by you when PT, and how the rest isn't specialised, so can be covered by people other than you? So show them how it can work. Maybe ask for a trial period, to be reviewed after that time (by which time you'll have proved it works.)

Though if it's that bad, even PT will be difficult and soul-sapping.

[OlennasWimple]

Have you made a formal application for flexible working? The onus is on you to show how it would work, but your employer can't refuse you simply because they don't want you to do it

[HereIAm20]

Have you thought of perhaps approaching the previous (short term) employer to ask if they have any part-time positions available? They may be missing you too!

[couchtofivek]

I met up with my old manager yesterday for a catch up, we had worked well together. She asked me how the new job was going .... So I told her the truth. She'd love to have me back in some capacity. So there may be light at the end of this tunnel!

I'm going to stick the new job until Christmas and then re-evaluate. The new job has security, the old one definitely doesn't, but my mental health is more important to me than a secure pensionable job that I cannot stand.

[couchtofivek]

On the flexible working, the policy dictates that I must discuss with my manager before I formally apply. My manager can refuse to approve it. When I did have that discussion with her it was made clear to me that part time is not an option for the foreseeable.

[EBearhug]

What were the reasons for it not being an option for the foreseeable? They can refuse a request, but not without reason. Company policies can give you fewer rights than you have by law. (They may be doing all this, it's just not clear from what you've said.)

Good news from the old place, though.