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Cant share this in RL because it could be AIBU or even jealous

(9 Posts)
bluebell21 Fri 09-Sep-16 13:53:45

I need to share this with someone. Ive tried sharing this with my family & friends but this results in "forget about it" or "you are over thinking it". I want to share this with my supervisor Mr X or work colleagues but as I will explain later this is complicated. OK bear with me.

Since May I have had this work placement in a large company with many departments which I am to leave in November which I know will not become permanent (in fact they are advertising now for another placement person) so I have been trying to find another job before November - I have had interviews for jobs which ive had a fair if not excellent chance of getting. In some cases with these interviews im sure nepotism (agency staff being made permanent, people they worked with before, my not being Asian etc) played a large factor in who they chose & i believe this has been the case also for some jobs Ive gone for in previous years (most notably one role where I was turned down but asked to come back on a voluntary basis to support the chosen candidate who turned out to be a niece of the interviewer which I considered cheeky).

Anyhow all this was irritating but how the world works. A few days ago I was told by one of the supervisors Mrs T in another department (who is friends with my supervisor as their departments are in the same wing of the building) who I usually get on well with and who is liked by everyone that she will be looking for a new work placement person as hers Miss N (who started 8 weeks ago and who is currently on holiday) is sure to get the role they applied for a permanent position that was advertised & which they encouraged their placement person to apply for. It was made quite clear that this was a sure thing and that there had been canvassing. This supervisor has been with the prospective new interviewer "Mrs S" all the time (lunches & meeting etc) and it seems that the shortlisted candidates have are all awaiting an interview so they can be interviewed when "N" comes back of their holiday. Its all quite blatant with "T" saying to me in front of "S": " I would love it if "N" got the job" - prospective interviewer & supervisor "S" just smiled.
"T" then proceeded to tell me how she would get a new placement person just like "N" because people like "N" were older and knew the meaning of hard work.

This has really upset and angered me (although I have tried my best to hide this under a fake cheerfulness) for many reasons:
1) Im having to see nepotism and canvassing under my nose - working where I do I will see all the hopeful candidates who just like me in all my previous interviews think they stand a good chance of getting the job not knowing that its all been fixed - PLUS T should know how I feel about this having confided in her about this sort of thing
2) I dislike the fact that N has worked for only 2 months & been away for 2 weeks on holiday whilst ive yet to take my time off due to having to stay in the UK for all my interviews
3) I am upset by T's attitude that a new replacement can be just plucked out of the air so when N gets the job she will be able to have her 4 weeks notice waived to go off with S.
4) I am not happy for N because she has turned out to be a rather 2 faced character who really doesnt deserve this special treatment. Before N started working for T I had known N slightly in University and before N started I had praised N to T. However my dreams of having a lovely work colleague was dashed when it turned out that N wanted nothing to do with me & mimicked my voice when "joking" with me (I didnt find it funny). All attempts to be welcoming to N whilst working in our building have been in vain. The bad character of N has been made really apparent by the fact that she has been bitchy about a lot of people: 2 lovely people we knew before who also work for the company = "Im surprised they got jobs"; her new colleagues "the team doesnt need her" & "she refuses to help anyone unlike myself" and even her prospective new supervisor "S" : "she is a bit dumb"!
5) Most horrible of all is the fact that "T" thinks "N" is the ideal employee better than anyone they have had before. What they seem to have failed to notice is how often "N" has cigarette breaks and takes personal phone calls when T is on holiday or out at a meeting. What T doesn't remember is that for the few months before "N" arrived I helped out that department with some of the duties that "N" does now, also since "N" arrived I have continued to help out. I have essentially done 1 1/3 roles from almost the beginning until a few days ago and this model employ has only ever done 2/3 of their duties if that. Whilst T was on holiday and N spending all their work time buttering up Mrs S and writing their personal statement I was asked to help their department with their workload. Stupidly I did so but maybe even secretly hoping that the laziness of N would be come obvious with me doing my job and some of hers. Unfortunately I think T & their team have always believed that I am just someone who has lots of free time & a light workload - rather than the truth that I am just a hard worker unlike N .
6) This will all be happening in front of me for my final 2 months when Im stressing enough about my future job prospects.

So what do I do? Do I tell T the truth about N & say that I dislike the obvious canvassing/nepotism? Do I tell my own supervisor who has always seemed to like N & might think im just jealous because he cant give me a permanent role? Do I keep my mouth shut and just bear with this & focus on myself. It really upsets me that I have played by the rules and been so kind, helpful & honest. My restraint with this has only brought reward for someone who doesnt deserve it.

Dailymailisacrapnewspaper Fri 09-Sep-16 14:09:14

Well I am confused. Do you have the appropriate background and skills to do the job that N is likely to get? Have you applied for the job that N is likely to get?

Are you a recent school leaver?

Tiggeryoubastard Fri 09-Sep-16 14:45:42

You're not making much sense.

RebelRogue Fri 09-Sep-16 14:57:19

Stop worrying about N,S,T and the rest of the alphabet,and even more importantly stop worrying and fretting about people you haven't even met,like N's replacement or future job applicants.

bluebell21 Fri 09-Sep-16 15:19:53

Ive also posted in AIBU where they have given me some good advice which I am going to follow & I am glad I put it here on mumsnet because it has given me an idea of how saying anything might be viewed.

Dailymailscrapnewspaper N & I both currently have the same low admin assistant job. I am in my late 20s and got my degree in education but ended up going down a different career path due to father's unemployment . She was a mature student in her 50s doing a business management degree - dropped out after a year to continue with her businesses (4/5 ventures which all failed). Knew her from other things at Uni. Anyhow the fact that we were both unemployed for 6 months and lived in the same city meant we met each other again like this. I wouldn't have applied for her job and don't have her business background which is why she could do the new job if she does try [have to be fair about this].

Please believe me I don't want the job but I do mind other people young & old who weren't lucky thinking they have a chance when I know here they dont. I admit I do feel sorry for myself and don't like the situation just because I feel I gave her a lot of support & welcome which was personally thrown in my face (knows what its like to be unemployed etc). If she had been a nicer person and been truly hardworking (like the 2 lovely young Asian colleagues she badmouthed for not having her level of English is) I might not have minded her been favoured but I do.

bluebell21 Fri 09-Sep-16 15:33:31

Comments noted. I am not going to post about this anymore as I realise what I said didn't resonate with a lot of people here.

user1471554720 Mon 19-Sep-16 20:36:04

I couldn't read and not reply. I have had similiar experiences, being hard working and decent. Then other people have got the benefits of nepotism in jobs. I wouldn't mind so much if they were hardworking and grateful, but they have taken it for granted and were not lovely people.

It seems to me that N played the game. She was clever and appeared like she was mature and hardworking. I'm sure she told managers about all her achievements at work and promoted herself. I understand it is upsetting to do the right thing and a devious person to get the job. The only thing is to learn from it. Promote yourself in the next job. Tell managers what you are achieving. Don't give others the habit of you helping out, particularly if it is menial work. You can help an odd time, but continually helping out looks like you have nothing to do. Take care

flopsypopsymopsy Tue 20-Sep-16 08:22:49

Crikey, very difficult to follow! It would have been easier if you had used made up names.

It's fairly obvious that you don't like it there very much so just leave when your time is up. There is absolutely no point in spilling the beans. It won't make any difference and will potentially cast you in a bad light.

Are you being paid for this work? If not, I would seriously consider a paid job next time. Also, get out of admin roles now if you can. It is the road to nowhere.

Ldnmum2015 Wed 05-Oct-16 01:19:13

I agree, with technological advances administration is a dying trade, it also gives you office bum, and various other long term health probs caused by sitting at a desk. I would still try and look for work in the field you qualified in. Nepotism happens alot with some bigger employers, i have worked with colleagues children, nieces, nephews, cousins best mates you name it, sometimes they rolled up their sleeves but mostly arrogant and entitlement ensure colleagues have to cover for them, a nightmare to have work in. However, if this N is older than you and has a different set of skills then you don't know what she has been bringing to the table, just because you did the same course at uni doesn't mean you are equal in terms of skills and more importantly decades of experience, so try not to take that personal

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