Bullying behaviour of boss

(10 Posts)
Ducky19 Tue 06-Sep-16 15:58:57

I've worked for the same company for 4 years now. I started in a role where I was well thought of and my work was respected. I then moved to another dept to work directly under a director and everything completely changed.

I received no training, my questions would be met with derision and my work was constantly undermined. It turned out that others had experienced similiar under the same person and had left. I've stuck it out and taught myself the role but being at work makes me feel sick.

I've gained weight (which he's commented on a number of times), have been brought to tears and it has affected my own relationship, as it has completely destroyed my confidence. I've even suffered from incredibly destressing physical reactions to the stress I feel, with terrible eczema starting about 6 months after taking the job. I actually pull my own hair out at work when he's in a bad mood.

Some days I feel strong enough to leave but when I look at other jobs I think "I can't do that". I am also contracted into my job until the middle of next year, and I can't afford to pay it. I feel well and truly trapped - there is no HR dept and seeing how a recent employee problem with another director panned out, I know that no complaint I made would work out in my favour.

Has anyone else experienced similiar and what did they do? xx

manandbeast Tue 06-Sep-16 22:41:06

Hi Ducky
I didn't want to read and run but am not a professional HR or employment lawyer.
Sounds absolutely horrific that you would be experiencing physical symptoms from this bullying.
No job is worth that. You must remember how much you were valued before, draw strength from that and find something else.
You can't put up with this flowers

MadeinLiverpool Tue 06-Sep-16 22:44:07

Can you join a union? You can join a union even if there isn't one in your workplace I believe.

RowenaDahl Tue 06-Sep-16 22:45:39

What job are you doing?

Ducky19 Wed 07-Sep-16 08:35:37

Hi, i'm not in a union, I work in marketing. I work for a pretty old school company and I know that getting a union involved would be frowned upon to the point that i'd have to leave the company anyway. I do feel very much like my choice is limited to leave, or leave!

shggg245 Wed 07-Sep-16 08:49:38

Try and limit communication to e mail, he may well drop himself in it. Evidence is important. You are being horribly bullied, I'd keep a diary of incidents and any other correspondence. Has anyone witnessed this?

I'd also go to your GP, my friend experienced a similar thing and the psychological impact of the bullying was used to prepare for a tribunal. She also contacted an employment lawyer. It didn't get as far as a tribunal, they settled with quite a hefty payout for harm / psychological damage.

It was a hard slog but she felt immense satisfaction in winning her case.
Bastard he's clearly inadequate - keep the focus and channel your energy. Think an employment would give you a free consultation.

shggg245 Wed 07-Sep-16 08:50:37

She was also in marketing!

Ducky19 Wed 07-Sep-16 09:06:06

Thanks shggg245 I've been keeping a somewhat haphazard log of what's been going on - others have seen it happening, to the point that people have said they'd leave rather than have to work for him. He's a very jekyll and Hyde character, one day he'll be nice as pie and the next just horrible, depending on his mood and whim. It just leaves you on edge all the time, which isn't a nice way to work.

I'm on a long holiday atm, as I felt I needed some time away, but I'm already starting to panic about the thought of going back sad I'll speak my dr as well, it's something I've tried to avoid up until now as I don't really want to admit how it's affecting me.

shggg245 Thu 08-Sep-16 11:18:39

Keep positive - you are clearly very good at your job, don't forget that.

Do not give in, why should you have to leave your job or be made ill because some inadequate shit gets his kicks from making people feel bad? It makes me so angry.

Enjoy your holiday and try not to panic about returning - I know that is easy to say.

Do go to the docs I think you'll find them understanding. flowers

RowenaDahl Thu 08-Sep-16 12:17:37

I'm a PA and have had to deal with a fair few bosses like this.

Things that might help you in the short term:-

Try to limit your contact with him as much as possible.

When you do have to speak to him, deliver information in short succinct sentences with pauses in between. So, make a statement, pause, then ask a question. If you need a decision then do all the donkey work, summarise the information and give him a choice - a or b?

When he's being a stroppy shit, get the urgent stuff out of the way and cut the conversation short. You can always go back and ask him tomorrow when he's in a better mood.

What you need to remember is, it's not you. He would be like this with anyone. Very hard I know, but you need to let his attitude roll off you. I've found that the more direct/assertive I am with these type of people the more respectful they become.

In terms of the comments about your weight, I would be inclined to agree and tell him that if you wanted his opinion you would ask for it. I've found that rudest bullying bosses are unaware of their impact on others and actually like staff who can stand their ground. Take no shit!

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