Worried Dad

(10 Posts)
Dad85 Sun 24-Jul-16 01:01:55

Hi my wife is currently suffering with really bad morning sickness. She has no energy and is barely keeping anything down. She has spent two nights in hospital. We have a 3 year old to look after and I work full time. I feel like I'm working 2 full time jobs. We usually share all the house work but as it's just me doing it it's piling up. It's all getting too much.

My question is would it be unreasonable for me to take some time off work with stress?

VioletBam Sun 24-Jul-16 02:33:25

What kind of job do you have? Another option though would be to get a cleaner...might be cheaper and less risky in the long term with taking time off work.

Or if you can't afford a cleaner is there anyone who could come and be with your wife for a couple of hours a day? How pregnant is she?

BikeRunSki Sun 24-Jul-16 02:48:22

We have been in exactly this situation. I think DH just left the housework! I was in hospital for 7 weeks in the end, but dusting was far from my mind.
Pregnancy Sickness Support has useful info regarding sickness.

Who is looking after your son? Is he normally with his mum or in childcare? If he's normally in childcare then could you increase his hours there for a bit?

Dad85 Sun 24-Jul-16 08:10:51

My Job isn't particularly hard just long hours 8am-9:30pm four says a week as we're short staffed at the moment. My wife is 8 weeks pregnant but has been ill for 4 weeks now. We're both clean freaks so the mess is making us both feel down. The only people who could help all work too. I know I'm not the only one to be in this situation and I honestly don't know how single mothers do it. They deserve a medal

eurochick Sun 24-Jul-16 08:12:01

Get a cleaner. Don't risk your job!

Dad85 Sun 24-Jul-16 08:28:28

My wage just about covers the bills and my wife only gets statutory sick pay, so a cleaner is out of the question.

Also I forgor to mention that the doctors found a growth the size of a tennis ball on one of her ovaries. This is most likely a cyst but I'm a worrier so I've only been getting 4 hours sleep max and haven't slept at all some nights

LIZS Sun 24-Jul-16 08:40:28

But surely a few hours cleaning is cheaper than if you took unpaid leave. You could try Homestart and see if they have a volunteer who could help.

EreniTheFrog Sun 24-Jul-16 09:14:42

If your wife has been ill with hyperemesis from weeks 4-8 already, she will probably not recover until week 12-16, or possible until after the birth sad. So perhaps you need to start by thinking about how you might make the next 4-6 weeks manageable flowers. If taking a few days off sick will help you in the long run, then yes, go for it. But it sounds as though you need a more sustainable strategy too.

insancerre Sun 24-Jul-16 09:18:30

Maybe ask if you can do reduced hours for a bit
And in the meantime, lower your standards. The housework can wait. As long as you have food to eat and clothes to wear, anything else is a bonus

Lules Sun 24-Jul-16 11:15:36

Agree with PPs - lower your standards. You must be exhausted. Secondly is there any help you can get all? Friends who could take your 3 year old for playdates? Don't assume people can't help - ask them.

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