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Colleague annoyed with me???

(6 Posts)
Spacebound Thu 21-Jul-16 17:08:55

Hi Everyone,

So one of my colleagues is apparently annoyed at something I said and has been moaning about me behind my back. I am 30 and he is 60 and we have always got on really well, I work on a team of 10 and there is a lot of, I hate this word but, banter going backwards and forwards, he is one of the worst for it but everyone can take a joke and we all get on well. The other day I was coming out of a meeting with some of my colleagues and he goes to me "What was that all about?" I replied to him joking and smiling "mind your own business" and he just laughed. I then find out this morning from my manager that he has been moaning to another colleague saying 'who does she think she is, I have been working here for over 30 years and she is telling me to mind my own business'. My manager knows I was joking and was just making me aware of it, saying oh you know what he's like (he does have a reputation as a moaner). He has also been saying other things behind my back like I am the favourite on the team and I am the one who always gets picked to do things. He is still behaving normally with me but I just feel awkward now. Do I just ignore it or say something to him?
Apologies for going on a bit.....

scurryfunge Thu 21-Jul-16 17:13:10

There will always be "I've had more annual leave than you have had service" brigade. Just ignore or kill him with kindness. He won't have cause to complain.

OliviaStabler Thu 21-Jul-16 17:14:21

Sounds to me like you hit a nerve hence his unusual reaction. Why not go for a coffee with him one on one to reassure him it was a joke etc? Best not to let it fester

VimFuego101 Thu 21-Jul-16 17:20:33

I wouldn't say that to someone unless they were a good friend and i could be sure they knew I was joking. If someone said it to me, it would have stung, and i would have felt embarrassed if it was said in front of others. I would apologise, but I'd also tell him that if he has an issue with something you've said, you would prefer he talks to you directly rather than discussing with others as you would prefer to maintain a good relationship and don't like hearing from others that something you've done has upset him.

AnnaMarlowe Thu 21-Jul-16 17:36:45

Personally I'd ask him straight out, very pleasantly, if he has any concerns he wished to raise with me as I understood he had raised some with my manager.

Make sure you are careful that anything you say could happily be repeated to the boss.

MissMargie Thu 21-Jul-16 17:58:48

Surely telling someone to mind their own business in front of others is rude and embarrassing for them, I'd feel that, though I might have realised it WAS none of my business.
Better reply would be nothing interesting.
True he should suck it up but if he is already carrying a chip on his shoulder that is not the way to go .
Perhaps apologise and say you were joking to smooth things over, if it's bothering you.

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