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(10 Posts)
gracienine Mon 11-Jul-16 17:26:23

feeling rubbish today. I'm a few weeks into a new role that I feel incredibly unqualified for - I think I got it by fluke! I have no idea what I'm doing really and it's the type of role which is completely self managed. I have a manager but she is out of the office 99% of the time. So I'm nervous and anxious every day and trying to cover that up.

I'm mostly struggling with feeling isolated... I sit by myself in the corner of a room filled with others, but my bank of desks rarely has anyone at it. The other banks of desks are chatty, lively, and I realise I must look like some sort of weird mute in the corner but I don't know how to change it. I can't exactly shout across the room to join in their conversations.

Even saying hi and goodbye is awkward because i won't have spoken to them all day - but it still feels rude to walk out without saying bye to anyone!

Argh I just need some advice or tips please? I feel so fucking awkward and socially useless but I'm really not!! I don't know why I can't handle this new situation. I have just left work feel like I might cry sad

StealthPolarBear Mon 11-Jul-16 17:27:42

You need some objectives
you need to suggest you all gp for a group coffee togetger

StealthPolarBear Mon 11-Jul-16 17:28:16

Sorry type fast sound bossy grin

gracienine Mon 11-Jul-16 17:32:00

I do have a defined role I'm just feeling a bit out of my depth. I guess I'm less worried about that side of things because I know it will be clear to me eventually if I'm doing it right or not.

How do I just walk up to a group of strangers at work and suggest coffee?! I see that this is a sensible suggestion but I just wouldn't have the balls! In previous jobs I've just got chatting to people sat around me and joined in whatever they are doing, and then got to know others via trips to the pub, and been eased into it that way. It feels impossible in this situation!

gracienine Mon 11-Jul-16 17:34:11

Also I get the impression from various handover documents that I've replaced someone very long term and very well liked which makes it even harder....

shalomjaxom Mon 11-Jul-16 18:33:40

You seem to talk more about the social situation rather than the role itself.

Please be assured that it takes at least a couple of months to start feeling in your element. Give it more time.

Let people get used to you - you will have to find some peace in your own company for now until those social bonds are formed. I would suggest you look friendly, work conscientiously and ask leading questions such as "how was your weekend? I'm just getting myself a drink - would you like one?" and other such comments.

And remember, if people are grumpy, they are not thinking of you - you are the last person on their minds! They are thinking about their own personal lives. This is hard to believe, but it's true.

All the very best. Tough it out and you will be fine.

Rosamund1 Tue 12-Jul-16 21:54:59

Try and catch someone in the kitchen and chat whilst the kettle boils. Break the ice a bit.

gracienine Tue 12-Jul-16 22:17:07

Thank you. I needed those words of wisdom! I really hope you are right and its just a matter of time whilst everything settles

achangeisgonnacome Sat 22-Jul-17 17:28:03

An aware that this is an old thread, but it describes my current situation perfectly.

Three weeks into a civil service role and haven't had any formal (or informal) induction yet.

The first week I was sat at a desk and sent loads of papers to read. Weeks two and three I'm supposed to develop business cases and prepare a submission, but the thing is I have no idea of how to even do that. It's not something I've ever done and when I mentioned any courses it was dismissed as not necessary!

My manager is so busy and always away at meetings and there isn't anyone else on the same team (although the department itself is quite big).

I have tried talking /emailing to ask for guidance, but get one word responses back.

My confidence has taken such a pounding and I have tearful panicky feelings all day as feel a complete fraud as sat there not really knowing how to do these tasks.

To compound all this I have t even been set up on their HR system Sonia unlikely I'll be paid at the end of the month.

Any suggestions of how I should approach this with my manager? I've asked for a meeting next week which I hope I can get through without getting emotional.

daisychain01 Sun 23-Jul-17 05:18:10

Hi achange what does your job description say? Is anything you're being asked to do bear any resemblance to your main responsibilities of the role you've been recruited for?

That would have to be your opening gambit with your manager - how can they ask you to do things like business cases if it isn't on your JD and they won't give you training.

A word of advice, its always best to start your own thread rather than reuse an old one even if the topic is similar smile

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