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So stressed and stuck

(6 Posts)
Oliviacolemansshriek Mon 20-Jun-16 20:38:48

I'm having quite a stressful time at home at the moment and I work in a job that is stressful by it's nature. I've always veered between being exhilarated by the challenge and overwhelmed by the responsibility but I think I used to be good at it.
I've come back into this line of work after a long absence and I was really lucky to find a job where I worked my way up to a more senior role. But within a year I have found myself managing projects which exceed my previous experience and with almost no support. There is also more work than I can fit in my part time hours.
With balancing my other commitments and the added pressure on myself to prove myself after my career break I'm absolutely at breaking point.
All I can think about is escaping.
I really think I've made a mistake by coming back into the profession while I have a young family. The likelihood of me getting a similar role with flexible working with less stress is very low. I can't afford to career change and I don't know what I would do. Added to that my DHs contract ends in a couple of months. I'm stuck.
Can anyone recommend any good resources to cope with workplace stress? Or any well paid, flexible jobs that you don't need to train for sad.
I know I'm posting for a (v long) rant but practical advice would be gratefully recieved too!

Sun16 Tue 21-Jun-16 08:17:00

I've no advice but happy to chat and vent with you as I'm in a similar situation. I'm coming to the conclusion that this particular line of work I'm doing is not compatible with small children though it appears to be on paper. And perhaps it is not the right role for me at all as I don't appear to be much good at it. I'm feeling useless, stuck, clueless, but totally trapped. I need to stick it out for another year so need to get my shit together enough to cope with that. Sorry you're in this position. I wonder sometimes if most working mothers of young children feel like they're sinking most of the time? Or do others feel on top of their work? confused

Oliviacolemansshriek Tue 21-Jun-16 19:48:03

I'm sorry to hear about your situation Sun16.
Do you have a strategy for leaving?
I feel like I need an exit strategy but I just can't for the life of me figure out what else I can do.
I think I need to tackle why I deal with stress so badly and maybe I'll feel less of a failure.
Although I feel like escaping I don't think it would be the long term solution as I will be stressed in any job I think.
Why do you need to stick your job out for a year? And what is it that you feel badly about? (If you don't mind me asking!)

EBearhug Tue 21-Jun-16 23:15:05

Take a step back.

Look at what you do enjoy in the job (or did, if you can't find anything positive at the moment.) Take particular note of anything you'd like to do more of.

Look at what you really hate, and again, take particular note of anything you'd absolutely hate to do again.

What is it you particularly find stressful? Do you think you'd enjoy your current position if you had more support, and/or more training, or is it just too much at this time of life, with young children? Are there individuals who make it harder (what about the same position, different manager?) What about the organisation type? Public, private, large, small, UK-only, international? Answers to those questions might help you develop a job profile of your ideal job, and even if you can't move immediately (training, experience, time, opportunity,) it can make a difference to have something to focus on and aim at.

Is there anyone else who you could give some of your workload to? Do you have anyone reporting to you, to whom you could delegate (and help develop them)? Or someone in a similar position, who could take on one of your projects?

Does your employer have an employee assistance programme at all? If so, look into whether they offer any sort of counselling, to help you deal with the stress, and also if they offer careers counselling, so you can work through your options. If you're in a union, it's also worth checking what they offer (mine does careers counselling.)

NoMudNoLotus Tue 21-Jun-16 23:25:20

Op you're not on your own.

I have a day off tomo- but I'm lying here in bed feeling physical sensations of dread & anxiety about going in on Thursday .

I desperately want to reduce my working hours & my job role but simply can't afford to sad.

I can't tell you how much I enjoy pottering at home on my days off with the laundry and school runs etc.

I really fear my job will make me physically ill.

Oliviacolemansshriek Wed 22-Jun-16 21:12:56

Thanks for taking the time to reply EBearhug. It's really great advice, I think I do need to cut through the stress to look at what it really is I do and don't like. I do need to focus on what practical steps I can take as a coping mechanism.
Unfortunately there's not much support available in the company and I have already spoken to my employer who is unable to change anything at the moment.
Thanks again.
NoMud I know how you feel. That feeling when fear and adrenalin take over is awful.
I've been meaning to try mindfulness meditation. I think it could help.
flowers for us all!

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