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Please help...Scared of what will happen at work ..advice please?

(13 Posts)
TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 20:55:12

i work in catering and really love my work except for this issue. I have been bullied by two co workers in my job since day dot. They dont work in my role but we have to interact, and it can be a stressful place to be - as anyone who had worked in this industry can vouch for! I've been there for a few months now and have complained about this to various managers. The bullies have been made aware of my complaints, and I was urged to raise an official complaint, which I was reluctant to do, but did because I wanted a stop to it all. The co workers are aware that I was complaining, and pushing the matter further. They started behaving much muvh nicer (in front of others) once they realised I was complaining. Once they got wind of the fact an official complsint was to be made they ramped up the levels to over the top friendliness which I knew to be false. Now the complaint has been made this has stopped and they have avoided all interaction with me.

I work for a large national chain so they are taking it seriously. It is being investigated this week and most staff members are being interviewed. I'm terrified that this will end with nothing proved, and my current support at work being taken away. I'm so scared that if they 'get away with it' the bullying will return ten times worse.

Please can someone give me advice on how to act this week/ stay calm, and what to do if the worse happens???

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 21:15:35

Anyone there?

redexpat Tue 10-May-16 21:15:35

Its easy for me to say, but try not to worry about things you cant control, and things that havent happened.

Practically, Keep a diary of events. Are you in a union? If not contact ACAS for some advice.

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 21:18:15

Thank you. I do keep a log of all incidents, but over the last few weeks with managers keeping a close eye there hasn't been anything to add - of course my big worry is that the managers wont be able to watch forever and that's when it will re start!
No Union sadly, Acas a good option though.

Kirriemuir Tue 10-May-16 21:20:50

You might be better posting in the employment board. Lots of HR people in there. Good luck. I have no experience but hold your head up high.

thenewaveragebear1983 Tue 10-May-16 21:27:49

Have you been given a copy of the grievance policy? It sounds as if they are following it correctly, eg they have accepted your complaint and are investigating. They should have given you a timescale to expect an answer from this investigation. I would suggest that you join a union now, as they will be able to help you from today, so if you want to appeal the decision or any further incidents happen as a result then they will be able to support you and will also be able to attend meetings with you so you aren't alone.
If bullying continues as a result of this, and managers fail to support you then you need to make that part of your complaint, in which case you need to complain 'higher'. You may need union support for this also.
Do you own your own home? If so, check your home insurance to see if you are covered for legal expenses. You can use this to cover the cost of a solicitor for some legal advice or representation if you need to appeal, or for example, if you can demonstrate that the managers did not protect you adequately from further bullying.
For now I think it sounds as if they are doing what they should be, and really all you can do is sit tight and wait.

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 21:28:02

I've asked to get it moved. Thank you

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 21:33:09

Thanks the new I have been given a copy and it is being followed to a t as far as I can tell which is one very good thing.
I rent unfortunately (many downsides there!) and would struggle to cover legal fees. I'm honestly not sure I would go down that road anyway - this whole process has had a terrible affect on me, I'm currently taking sleeping pills which ive never resorted to before. I honestly don't think I could take the stress too much of a wimp
I've been told I should have an outcome by next week.

It's horrible knowing all the employees know about this now. It's very obvious when they pull someone out the kitchen to the tiny office - and people have commenter 'what's going on?'. I hate being the subject of gossip. sad

Liska Tue 10-May-16 21:42:35

Hang on in there. You've done really well raising a formal complaint. From your wording I get the impression that you're probably not the first person they've done this to, because if management were encouraging you to take this further, then they were probably already aware that there was a problem. They can't do anything until someone makes a formal complaint. If they're going to be interviewing everyone then there will definitely be more than just your word. I know it probably feels bloody terrifying right now but you can grit your teeth and get through it. We're behind you!

thenewaveragebear1983 Tue 10-May-16 21:48:20

I totally get it, I'm in the middle of a hefty grievance with my employers, I'm currently on maternity leave so I don't know what's been said behind my back! Hope you are ok. I would imagine that they will follow the policy strictly, especially as its a big company. Its worth considering what you want the end outcome to be, because they may ask you (eg. Do you want an apology? A move of department or change of hours so you don't have to interact?)

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 10-May-16 21:48:26

Hi, we're moving this over to our Employment Issues topic now. Hope you get some more good advice there, OP. flowers

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 22:00:53

Thank you for your kind words.
I am considering what I genuinley want from the outcome. If I'm 100% honest with you all I want them to leave, but I know this is unlikely and I would feel really guilty if that happened anyway.

As a chain, I'm wondering if there could be the possibility of moving them to a different location? No idea if that's likely.

Failing that There should be the possibility of changing shift patterns.

As far as an apology goes I'm
Not sure I can handle it face to face, I would probably cry and ive tried so hard not to show them how much its got to me before.
I'm actually really scared of these people, irrational as that is.

TwentyCupsOfTea Tue 10-May-16 22:02:25

Liska I think you are bang on about this happening before. I've heard rumours about that, but not asked as Ive been trying to just keep my head down.

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