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Need urgent help re today!

(11 Posts)
pinkfluffywings Fri 04-Mar-16 08:05:02

I've been off sick from work approximately 8 weeks at first due to an operation and post op complications. However during this time my mental health has taken a good beating.

Last week I went to the doctors who have upped my medication and will review next week.

I have massive anxieties about returning to my work place - I never realised how much pressure and stress I put myself under until I have taken a step back.

There were certain incidents involving numerous members of staff making hurtful comments and it knocked my confidence hugely.

Recently a job vacancy came up which I have been waiting for so I applied and got the job. It overall means a cutback in my hours however this is what I wanted.

Looking back I was not coping with full time hours, the pressure of the environment, shift patterns and had literally no work/home life balance. I'm a single parent and ultimately believe I have to do what's best for me and my child.

This new job would be spreading 30 hours over 5 days which is ideal.

Here is my dilemma. I have a meeting at current work tomorrow to discuss return to work. I've been referred to occupational health which isn't until 16th of this month as they were potentially looking at phased return to work (before I had my interview/offer). I was going to hand my notice in today. If there is any gaps I can do bank work and earn money that way.

My sick note currently gives me three more weeks sick.

How do I approach my current manager and what do I say? I have to give eight weeks notice.

Piffpaffpoff Fri 04-Mar-16 08:34:26

Firstly, congratulations on the new job. I would just be honest - hand in your notice today and see what they say. Your worst case scenario is that you have to go back in 3 weeks time and do 5 weeks which, with the new job on the horizon, will be tricky but I think do-able. (FYI, I had to work 4 weeks notice under a similar scenario on my return to work after stress related illness due mainly to bullying by a boss. It's not ideal but you just have to focus on the end.)

I understand why you might be worried. But, bring brutally honest and I say this in the nicest possible way, you leaving might be a positive for them. I know my ex-boss was delighted to see me go as it was one less 'problem' for her to deal with. She wasn't as delighted as I was though grin.

Best of luck.

pinkfluffywings Fri 04-Mar-16 09:25:18

But will I still be under occupation health and possibly work my notice through a phased return? That's what I cannot get my head around.

Piffpaffpoff Fri 04-Mar-16 09:39:28

I think there are a number of things they could do - the phased return is one, the could put you on gardening leave to do your notice at home, or something else. Go in with an open mind and see what they say.

flowery Fri 04-Mar-16 10:03:41

The fact that you are working your notice doesn't impact your fitness (or otherwise) to work.

I imagine your manager will want you to still attend your OH appointment to get advice on what you will be able to do in terms of working over the next few weeks but if not, your own doctor will sign a fit note anyway saying what (if any) work you are fit for. Your notice period makes no difference.

pinkfluffywings Fri 04-Mar-16 10:48:48

I think I'm going to hold out until next week to hand in my resignation.

I've a return to work meeting today however my occupational health appointment is not until 18th of this month.

I'm back at the doctors next week for a medication review.

I'm nervous of how this meeting will go today. I don't want to face the people I work with for them to ask questions. I keep getting messages through social media and text asking me how am I and when I'll be back. I just want to be left alone.

I think ultimately when I leave I shall exit quietly and be asked for it to be kept confidential and do not want other team members knowing.

flowery Fri 04-Mar-16 11:00:17

It doesn't sound to me as though delaying leaving is sensible to be honest. Surely you want to go as soon as possible?

I also think no one knowing you're going is not realistic. It doesn't sound as though it's likely you won't be considered fit to do any work at all for the next 8 weeks, and even if that changes, people will be asking when you're coming back unless and until they are advised that you are not.

I think you need to bite the bullet and get resigning over with asap rather than having it hanging over you until next week.

pinkfluffywings Fri 04-Mar-16 12:49:02

I'm waiting until my offer is in writing before doing anything. I just need to negotiate hours at my new job.

flowery Fri 04-Mar-16 15:38:54

Oh well absolutely, if you don't have a written offer and haven't finished negotiating terms yet then you're not in a position to resign anyway.

pinkfluffywings Fri 04-Mar-16 16:53:46

At first I was intending to resign whether I had another job or not. As I do agency work as well so could have done that.

flowery Fri 04-Mar-16 18:07:47

So what's changed your mind? Are you going to stay if this new job doesn't work out now?

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