Am I being bullied?(3 Posts)
Have NCd for this.
I work full time and am at reasonably senior level which requires/expects me to be a self-starter with autonomy and to be flexible and stay later/start earlier now and then when it is required.
No problem with any of this. I work hard and work longer hours when needed.
My boss joined last year and has never managed anyone before. I am starting to find her behaviour worrying and upsetting but don't know if I am just being over-sensitive. Here are some examples:
She constantly mentions my 'moving on' and internal vacancies I should be interested in. She doesn't do this to any other team members. I take it as a sign she wants to get rid of me but as the jobs are often more senior, it can't because my work is not up to scratch. It's just uncomfortable and unnecessary.
One to one meetings are infrequent, without notice and are often held in public areas. She talks about herself a lot in these, asking whether I am happy that she is my boss(!!!!) which I find odd.
Lately, she has been micro-managing and it feels as if she is building a dossier on me.
A colleague emailed me about something non-urgent and two days later forwarded the email to my boss who then barked at me about why I hadn't replied. The answer was that I was on annual leave and replied as soon as I was back (we have out of office messages).
I had a health appointment this morning - it has been in the diary (with times) for a fortnight and I reminded her/team of it yesterday. I also emailed them this morning saying 'just off to my apt'. She then sent an email later in the morning just saying 'what time was your appointment?' as if I was slacking.
Am I being paranoid? It just feels as if she treats me like a work experience girl and not a grown woman who does a good job. She's really rude to my male colleague and barks at him almost every day to get her coffee, fix her PC problems etc. He has told her he is not her PA.
She's making a job I love doing really miserable at the moment.
You can tell she has never managed anyone before!
Moving on - 'Aw thanks boss, but I really love my job. That job actually sounds more up your street, I reckon you would be fab at Whatevering in whatever dept'.
Meetings in public areas 'Is this a one - to - one as if so, I'll book a meeting room for some privacy as talking about this stuff isn't really for everyone to listen to is it and can we book it in for next week so that I can prepare - what things shall I put on the agenda to discuss? Which day would you prefer?'
Emails about not responding to non-urgent messages whilst on leave. 'I was on annual leave, I have put the dates into my shared calender so that everyone knows in future when I am not around. Is there an issue, I checked and this is not urgent and I have it planned into my diary to respond when I returned.'
Emails about 'what time was your appointment', 'Same time as I said yesterday, and in my calender. Is there an issue?'
You have to cover your back, pre-empt her shite and manage upwards deflecting and being nice pointing out what you have already done to pre-empt the question. Always do things in writing or follow it up in writing by email so that you have it written down. She needs to pull the cork out of her arse by the sounds of it.
I don't know but I have had a similar experience recently- boss not appreciating my priorities, going behind my back to see what I was doing on projects with colleagues, not appreciating my priorities and wading in to question my way of doing things. I complained to head of dept whoy boss had blind copied a lot of what she saw as 'issues'. Luckily head of dept challenged my boss who is supposed to be on your side don't you think? Anyway my head of dept was going to get me to report to her but I'm just about to hand my notice in as I have a new job. The time your job starts treating professionals and senior folk as 5 year olds is the time to get out! 😜 looking forward to my next job as at the interview they were really nice and so appreciated my experience!
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