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Failed interview-Feeling like just not going in

(26 Posts)
Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 17:53:59

I can't decide if this is liberating or childish, but I just found out that I didn't get a job with the company I work for. The next logical step, and in a team I know and like. I have currently got an awful boss and am desperate to get away from her, and already find it hard to actually turn up its so depressing.

Am getting a powerful and very attractive urge to just not go in tomorrow. Partly it's humiliating, partly it's the feeling I am going to suck up very angry feelings about not having got it, partly because it's easily something I can do and therefore even more humiliating, but further, its just giving me a signal that they don't give a shit about my contribution so far, so why should I give a shit either?

Should I just follow my very very strong instinct to just disappear?

happystory Mon 29-Feb-16 18:16:22

My sympathies that's a real downer for you. As for not going in, do you just mean tomorrow or never again ?!

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 18:26:36

I am actually thinking never again. They owe me money, I owe them money -it would work out about equal. The main thing holding me is reliance on money, but I have 1000 just now. The next is that my current boss has been obviously trying to get me sacked or at least reputation damaged for ages, so she would see this as a delicious victory.

Ruckeroony Mon 29-Feb-16 18:29:26

Go in tomorrow and hold your head high. But start applying for jobs elsewhere.

HarlettOScara Mon 29-Feb-16 18:31:54

In my experience, it's not unusual for an unsuccessful internal candidate to go off 'sick' for a few days. I totally understand them feeling disappointed, wounded, unappreciated and humiliated.

However, it's really not
Important to other people. They're hear the news of who got the job and move on with their day. Your closer colleagues will commiserate with you briefly and they'll move on too. And unless you did something horrendous, chances are that you did a good interview but someone else was just better on the day. I have sat on many interview panels and seen people who I know capable of the job (and sometimes already doing the job) be pipped at the post by an outsider because they interview superbly.

Unless you can afford to quit, dust yourself off, get back into the office and put your energy into finding another job if that's what you want to do.

MardyGrave Mon 29-Feb-16 18:32:49

How Long is a grand going to last you? What's the fallback option after that?

If it will cover you for 3+ months and you have family who will support you after that, then it's your call. If it will barely cover a month and there's no plan after that, then im afraid it requires stepping up as an adult and completing your notice and searching for a new job.

flowery Mon 29-Feb-16 18:43:12

Yes it's childish, and if you don't have pots of money, no need to work and an absolute guarantee you won't ever need a reference from your current employer, it's also daft.

Plenty of internal candidates don't get jobs. Go into work, ask for feedback on how you can be successful next time, and if you want to leave, put your energies into job hunting.

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 18:48:51

But I do genuinely feel I can't take any more injuries to my self esteem from this employer and wonder if it would be better for me to leave them to it. I just don't want a crap office liar to win.

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 19:16:13

Oh the grand would only last a month, but I aim to be out in a month anyway because I can't stand this lack of development.. This is the third time I have applied, interviewed and been rejected. I can't stand it. I really can't.

HarlettOScara Mon 29-Feb-16 19:18:23

Are you asking for feedback when unsuccessful?

Ruckeroony Mon 29-Feb-16 20:43:18

I think that they are giving you a clear message - they don't think much of you. Whether that's your fault or because your boss unfairly dislikes you, we can't tell. What you need to do is start looking seriously for a job elsewhere. But don't leave until you get one.

mudandmayhem01 Mon 29-Feb-16 20:53:15

This happened to me, i didn't get the job, my colleague did, I felt dreadful BUT I womaned up, sent congratulations to my colleague ( by email so she couldn't see my gritted teeth) got feedback from HR, 2 months later my colleague handed in her notice, I was offered the job as the second best candidate, I swallowed my pride and took the job, never looked back.

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 21:00:50

Well I won't do that. I'm not going to fix their problems. If they were willing to have me doubt myself this much, they clearly don't deserve a hand up if they get let down as a result of making a bad decision, but one that pisses off an existing team member.

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 21:05:59

The feedback is the usual crap about actually being better, but not better. The thing is, its my life, family, future and home they are arseing about with, not just a pin-money thing. I know I am rare in that I am doing the job as a main job, with the others doing it as the second income, but that just makes me more annoyed.

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 21:10:46

To be honest though, this has really hit me hard, to the point I can't see any point in trying to work again. I am clearly not wanted by the world of normal people, and the universe obviously wants me out of it. I don't know why as I try so hard and do all the things everyone else does, but I have just been slapped in the face by all the people I work with. They all knew I was applying, its utterly degrading.

RedBlu Mon 29-Feb-16 21:55:48

This happened to me last year. I applied for a higher grade in my team, my manager told me I was perfect for it and should apply for it, then didn't give me the job. Gave it to someone from outside the team, who it turns out he knows as they worked together many years ago.

I was humiliated, all my team knew I had gone for it and didn't get it. I was hurt, de-motivated, bitter and to be honest, those feelings have faded but are still there. I can't get past the fact that I know I could do the job but they didn't give me the opportunity.

I am now in an awkward situation of having to train this person who got the job, and it's not pleasant.

I am trying to find another job!

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 22:09:09

Why are employers such daft cunts?

Childishorhonest Mon 29-Feb-16 22:10:17

Its like they deliberately know how to get the worst out of people. Its weird weird weird.

GasLightShining Wed 02-Mar-16 22:34:29

The thing is, its my life, family, future and home they are arseing about with, not just a pin-money thing. I know I am rare in that I am doing the job as a main job

Sounds like you can't afford to leave without a job to go to.

I understand how you feel. I applied for a job internally. It was sidewards move with more hours and I never even got an interview. I felt humiliated as the shortlisting panel would have known it was me. The difference between us though was my boss was lovely and said it was their loss.

Now I am thankful about it all as I like working part time

jclm Fri 04-Mar-16 21:47:43

I'm sorry but you are just going to have to go in tomorrow and woman up. Get feedback and keep applying for other things. I've been unsuccessful in so many interviews and it takes me about a month to recover, but as an internal candidate you don't have that time. Hth

Childishorhonest Thu 10-Mar-16 13:20:13

Hello all, thanks for the advice, I went to see the doctor and she said that I should address it with HR and she thinks I should take some time off to get back to emotional normal. I have been absolutely exhausted and frankly just don't care about the employer any more. I know it's sensible to stay on the books, but I really don't think I can take having to be nice to a new person, and the team manager after I have been so personally humiliated. In fact I didnt even tell the team I was applying, so the manager must have told people, so it even feels calculated..sad

jclm Fri 11-Mar-16 09:29:02

Yes a great idea to take some time off on sick leave. Whilst you've got time at home, keep applying for other jobs. X

Handypandy Fri 11-Mar-16 09:31:37

I would leave.

The same thing happened to me - didn't get a job in the company I worked for. I was really upset and left soon afterwards.

Headofthehive55 Mon 14-Mar-16 16:36:24

And me. Recently too. I feel completely uninterested in that line of work too now. Like a switch that's just gone ping. I work in the nhs and now looking to leave.

Headofthehive55 Mon 14-Mar-16 16:37:07

I don't want to be a nurse anymore, or work for the Nhs.

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