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Is this sexual harassment?

(4 Posts)
Fran90071 Mon 08-Feb-16 19:37:57

Hi all, I'm new here but really need advice.

I am 23 and relatively new to my job (started 4 months ago). I confided in my colleague about this situation (we are good friends and started work at the same time) because I was worried about this situation getting out of control. He says it might be sexual harassment but I'm not sure. Either way, I don't want to get a bad reputation in my new job!

I went out for drinks for a colleague's birthday and was a little nervous as I'd just started working there, but got chatting to an older guy who is a manager. He was being a bit flirty but he has a good reputation at work - everyone thinks he's a nice guy and that's what I thought. Although there were a few naughty jokes shared between us, I didn't feel uncomfortable because we're both married and he's nearly 50. He bought me a few drinks and we chatted for ages - I feel so naive looking back!

When I went home that night, I saw I had a few messages from him on a social networking site that were a bit suggestive. I reciprocated (drunk and stupid but no excuse!), but the next morning I realised I'd been an idiot and sent him an apology which he accepted.

A few weeks later he sent me an email asking how I was. It seemed genuinely friendly and we had a brief chat, but no flirting on either side.

We rarely see each other at work but one day last month, I was stressing out trying to find something and he happened to walk in. He took me to where the files were kept and we were just having a friendly chat on the way back to my office, when he stopped and turned around. He looked to see if anyone else was around and kissed me. I was completely taken aback and pulled away. I felt quite intimidated to be honest, like I was cornered. But I also blame myself for what happened because I was very friendly when we first met. What should I do?

LaurieFairyCake Mon 08-Feb-16 19:40:44

Tell him not to kiss you and you're not interested.

winchester1 Mon 08-Feb-16 19:46:21

I'd tell him your not interested but if anything else happened after that go to hr as its not appropriate for a manager to be kissing you at work.

Fran90071 Mon 08-Feb-16 20:06:02

The day after the work drinks, when i apologised for the messages, I made it clear that I love my husband and I'm not interested in him. He replied with something flirty and I immediately shut him down.

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