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Do I quit? I'm losing my mind.

(9 Posts)
wishesandkisses Mon 30-Nov-15 21:19:39

I've been in this job for 7 months. I love it, it's a wonderful job and I am so lucky to be in it. I'm being kept on by short contracts which I'm hoping will become permenant soon but there's no guarantee.

The problem is. I'm working 37 hours a week. Alternate days to my partner. We have a 2 year old and a dog. My house has gone to shit, it's constantly messy and disgusting and awful to come home to. But I'm so knackered when I get home I just can't face up to it. I'm working myself into the ground, i'm getting ill. But I don't know if I should bring this up to my boss. Ask him to reduce my hours? But will it put me out of stead for the future?

I was stupid to take this job. I thought I could cope with these hours but I just can't. I feel I'm missing out on my son growing up. I'm trying to live too much for my son on the weekends to make it up to him and I never feel completely relaxed. I feel like I'm missing out on life and completely exhausting myself. Any tips welcome PLEASE!

Feellikeafoolinlove Mon 30-Nov-15 23:22:14

Hi I'm in a similar position. I'm a lone parent and took on a full time job! It's crazy and I can't cope. Hats off to those that do but my house has also gone to pot, and there's not enough to time to help with DC homework which is increasing and he's seeming to have some additional needs. I feel like I'm cracking up with the stress of dashing around its making me ill. I'm itching to hand in my notice but I'm trying to hang on for something else.

Sorry I don't have any real advice, just to say your not alone. Could you cope for a while on just your dp wages?

YeOldeTrout Mon 30-Nov-15 23:33:50

Er, why can't your DP keep the house in a presentable condition, is he working 37 hrs/week too?

I went back to work (almost FT) so I could see less of my children, admittedly.

wishesandkisses Tue 01-Dec-15 07:31:34

He works a 40 hour week, the stress is that I want to stay in this company and im afraid that it will look bad if I ask for a reduction.
Feellikeafoolinlove it's such a struggle isn't it! At what point do you say I can't do it anymore?!

ratherworriednow Tue 01-Dec-15 07:37:02

Why don't you and dp share the housework and, finances permitting, hire a cleaner?

Feellikeafoolinlove Tue 01-Dec-15 10:10:06

It certainly is a struggle wishesandkisses. If j was you I would request the part time hours. You've been there a while now and they've been consistent in renewing your contract so are obviously happy with your performance. For me the work/home balance is very important as our dcs are only young once and every environmental stress impacts on their development. It's hard to juggle with today's expense of living youve often got to work.

Artistic Tue 01-Dec-15 10:13:32

Get a cleaner who can come in twice a week to tidy the house & put in some washing. Don't quit. In a few years you might see the rewards of hanging on to something you live doing. Spend all your free time on your son & family, not on cleaning. You might get a chance to reduce your hours once you become permanent...hopefully soon.

OnlyLovers Tue 01-Dec-15 10:14:53

Don't you and your DP keep the house in order together? DP and I both work full-time and more (I'm self-employed, he's a senior manager). We're lucky, we can afford a cleaner for a weekly clean, but on top of that we both do our bit cooking, washing up, laundry and general tidying.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 01-Dec-15 10:24:45

I don't think I'd ask for a reduction in hours if you want to stay at the company and hopefully get a permanent role. I'd look at solutions that would mean you could do this - getting a cleaner, creating a rota, etc.

When it comes to time with your son, I suppose it's a choice that has to be made. Can you afford to live off just your partners' wage, so you can be at home all the time? If not, would part-time hours around your partners' hours (so you don't have childcare to pay) be any different, or would you still feel stressed and like you don't see your child enough, just for less money?

You've got less than 2 years, depending on birth date, until your child is in school. It sounds like you enjoy your job, so I wouldn't give it up or ask for less hours. It might depend on your industry, but there's no real progression for part-time workers in mine, and it's only really the full-time workers who are offered permanent jobs.

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