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Ostrcised at work: what to do?

(3 Posts)
Eloise11 Fri 06-Nov-15 10:24:28

Sorry - just a need to share and ask for any advice or thoughts. Just burst into tears once two colleagues (we're a team of 3 only) left a short while ago for a meeting they'd arranged with a colleague in another team .. so far, so innocent. But the meeting about something that's very relevant to my post and I was clearly excluded. Believe me, I couldn't have invited myself. I only knew about it because they'd put it on the shared calendar. The reaction would have been pretty negative - really.

The two of them have a very close friendship, socially and at work. I am different, perhaps. Bit older, with kids, live further away but they go to great lengths to exclude me from just about anything. I should, technically, be working closely with one of them but she pretty much ignores me, is making her mark here anyway and, frankly, I think that she thinks that I'm a bit dim and not worth talking to very much.

I'm under the weather as it happens - have a health problem that's being investigated which may or may not be benign and the ostracisation at work is clearly not helping my morale.

DH says 'F them ..' and advices that I try to ignore it as it's simply very childlike behaviour (actually, not entirely fair to children that but I see what he means). And of course it's not right. Three is a tricky number and if two are tight, the one is going to feel lonely and shut out. I work full time in a secure job and perhaps until I know what, if anything, is wrong with me, I should put up with it. And at my age, getting another job isn't going to be so easy, I guess.

Line manager? No, not really - talking to her would be seen by her as a sign of weakness.

Not crying anymore - thanks for listening.

mrsmilktray Fri 06-Nov-15 10:26:40

I agree with your dh. Fuck them. They are being very unprofessional and childish. Differences in age and lifestyle should not factor when you are working with someone. flowers

tribpot Fri 06-Nov-15 10:33:24

If your kids are at home you can't be any great age, surely? I would certainly be looking for another job. Their intention is to freeze you out and ultimately this is likely to result in one or other getting promoted over you, which will be worse.

If the meeting is relevant to your post, how will not going affect you? As in, will you need to arrange a repeat of the meeting with whoever it was so that you can get the info? Will you need to ask one of the other members of the team what was discussed? Can you shove the piece of work on to one of the others since they appear to believe it's in their remit?

It sounds like a horrible, cliquey atmosphere and I'm sorry that you're having to put up with it. However, please don't feel you have no other options.

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