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Need advice - first business trip coming up

(8 Posts)
FirmlyRooted Wed 30-Sep-15 11:04:02

I'm a long time lurker and this is my very first post. I've been back at work since August after having DC2 about a year ago and I've been told I need to spend a week in our NY office. Part of me is excited like a little girl at the though of sleeping 8 hours a night (not happened in 3 years!) and drinking cocktails in Manhattan but the other part is terrified at spending a week away from the DC. I've never spent a night away from the baby and only ever the occasional 1 night from DC1.

My question for the collective wisdom of Mumsnet is, how do you schedule your business trips? Do you usually travel on your time (eg fly out Sunday night) in order to be ready for 9am Monday morning start, or do you travel on company time (eg fly out Monday morning and miss all of Monday at work)? What have you found is the best way to plan your trips? And have your kids been ok? And can anyone tell me spending a week across the Atlantic from my tiny kids is going to be allright? I think I'm suffering from the adult version of separation anxiety...

Any advice is very much appreciated, I live in middle class suburbia where most of the other mums either don't work or only do school hours with no overnight trips required. I also work in financial services so there are not too many other young(ish) mums in the same situation.

FirmlyRooted Wed 30-Sep-15 11:04:29

DC are just turned 3 and 1

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Wed 30-Sep-15 11:09:09

I have all of the same anxiety despite doing it fairly regularly. I'm currently dreading leaving for a week in the states on Sunday. I find I always need to fly out on the Sunday, then fly back overnight (next week on the Friday) I struggle most because the time difference means the opportunities to speak to her are very limited. She's only 4 so it feels like a very long time. For me, it's part of the job that enables our lifestyle so to be honest, I don't enjoy it but I suck it up because I need to. Sadly jet lag never allows for 8hours sleep and I always come back exhausted.

yakari Wed 30-Sep-15 11:16:36

Well every company is different in terms of expectations - I travel on my time but take it at a later date. So very much swings and roundabouts, the assumption is you put the hours in when needed but take it back if / when things were slacker. What's you schedule in NY? Can you arrive on Monday night or do you need to be there on Monday. Also check flights - personally I prefer to fly Sunday and have Sunday evening to get settled, deal with jet lag than do it on a Monday and feel like I'm starting the week on the back foot.
personally I'd also think about flying Saturday to shop Sunday but then I've been travelling since kids were tiny

For the kids, trial and error but mine prefer to not have regular calls. A case of out of sight, out of mind! So I called whoever was caring for them - usually DH or DM - if they wanted to speak they could but no pressure. And now they are older 9 and 7 they like to text or call me from someone's phone - DS (9) likes to email youtube links I'll find funny, lesson learnt never open your son's email during a meeting!

At 3 and 1 I'd argue you will find it harder than them. The 3 year old may be clingy as you leave so work out a plan with whoever is caring so you can get out without too much prolonging. Then have a good sniff on the way to the airport, G&T after your checked in and settle down to a book, film and uninterrupted silence smile

RNBrie Wed 30-Sep-15 11:19:24

I fly out on the latest flight possible on Sunday and hope to sleep on the plane. Then at work first thing Monday to Thursday. I then fly home as early as I can get away with on Thursday evening and then work from home on the Friday. I get home around the same time the DC are waking up on Friday morning.

I only ever travel to NY and I always insist on only doing 4 days there. If it was a full 5 days, I'd get the last flight home on Friday night.

The DC have always been fine with it - we do Skype but that actually seems to make them more unsettled so we don't do it too much - its mainly for my sake...

Don't get too excited about the 8 hours of sleep! The jet lag can be a bitch grin.

AmurAmour Wed 30-Sep-15 11:21:31

I travel fairly regularly and whether I travel on my own time or on company time depends on when I need to actually be at my conference/meeting or whatever. I do claim back time though as I officially work part time, although never claim the full amount just for practical reasons. I actually don't speak with my DCs when I am away. Partly because time differences make that very difficult but partly because I think it can be more unsettling for all involved. I only text or email DH once a day or so as well. I am usually so busy with work that there isn't time to fret too much, and often I get back to the hotel late and exhausted and flop into bed! I know the children are fine without me, although of course miss me. The lead up to trips is getting harder now so I try to only let them know a week or so beforehand. The cuddles when you get home are always the best! You will be fine. They will be fine.

FirmlyRooted Wed 30-Sep-15 11:38:20

Thank you so much everyone, you're all making me feel better already. You're probably right that at 1 and 3 it'll be worse for me than the kids. The 3 year old is a bit clingy, greets me every evening with "I'm mummy's boy" but the baby is more independent. And it'll probably be a useful learning experience for DH and his mother who no doubt will move in while I'm away to be sole parent in charge for a week.

There's a flight landing at JFK at 11pm local time on the Sunday night, would I be crazy to get that? My plan was to sleep on the flight over there and then get a few extra hours at the hotel...

FirmlyRooted Wed 30-Sep-15 11:39:45

Interesting that skype/calls seem to unsettle the kids, perhaps it really is 'out of sight, out of mind'

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