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What is a woman supposed to do in response to men with vise-grip strength handshakes? Eek!!

(24 Posts)
ragged Fri 19-Jun-15 10:51:42

I have kind of weak hands so I just can't return the favour.
What do you do?

JugglingLife Fri 19-Jun-15 10:55:19

I have been known to pull them in for a double cheeked kiss. Nothing worse than an egotistical hand shake. Tends to put them on the back foot if you kiss them.

Squirrelsmum Fri 19-Jun-15 10:56:48

Call them on it and tell them they aren't crushing rocks.

ragged Fri 19-Jun-15 10:58:58

Hand on heart, I don't think it's a domineering statement or ego thing, when I get to know the men they aren't jerks at all, gentle thoughtful people. It's just their habit & probably works fine between 90%+ of men. Besides, I'm the junior member of staff so I'm not calling anybody on minor stuff.

FatherHenderson Fri 19-Jun-15 11:01:09

God I hate this, it's a total power thing. I wince, and say 'ow' really loudly. It makes them look like an unprofessional twat.

grumpasaur Fri 19-Jun-15 11:11:14

I also wince and say "that's a bit firm" or "wow you have a strong handshake" whilst shaking my hand. I can't stand it!

leadrightfoot Fri 19-Jun-15 21:48:10

Tickle their palm with your fingers as you go in for a hand shake or kiss on cheek

southeastastra Fri 19-Jun-15 21:49:42

i am a firm handshaker back seriously it isn't hard to match like for like

Miggsie Fri 19-Jun-15 21:51:42

Dig your nails in - surely?

thenightsky Fri 19-Jun-15 21:52:38

Do the thing with the thumbs so they they you are a mason grin

thenightsky Fri 19-Jun-15 21:53:09

they 'think'

(pinot fingers typing)

thehumanjam Fri 19-Jun-15 21:53:31

I have a firm handshake. I can't stand wimpy weak handshakes. Some women barely pass me their hand and I find it really embarrassing, it's like they've either never shaken someone's hand before.

lilivonshtupp Fri 19-Jun-15 21:54:49

DOn't know - let me know when you do!

I am young but have bad arthritis and handshaking makes me sooooo nervous because I've been left in tears before now.

Honestly, I wish fist-bumping was the norm.

southeastastra Fri 19-Jun-15 21:58:03

air kiss lilivon

lilivonshtupp Fri 19-Jun-15 21:59:23

Mwah mwah southeast wink

MoreBeta Fri 19-Jun-15 21:59:27

I am a man and frankly it is totally unnecessary and bizarre gripping someones hand so hard it hurts. Actually its just rude and inconsiderate. It annoys me. I notice some men do it and some don't. I think it is a 'power' thing.

StickyProblem Fri 19-Jun-15 22:01:15

I like a good competitive hand squeeze! I really hate puny handshakes. I have a clever handsome charismatic colleague with a handshake that feels like a little tinned pilchard in your hand! Such a disappointment.

If you have weak hands I would do as FatherHenderson says, wince and say Ow so they look like a mean twat. You could even bend your knees a bit as you wince (based on the first time I ever encountered this, I did actually stagger from the shock and pain!)

MoreBeta Fri 19-Jun-15 22:01:23

Oh the masonic handshake annoys me as well. Stop it with the squeezing my knuckle with you thumb. I don't care if you are a Grandmaster of the local lodge.

lilivonshtupp Fri 19-Jun-15 22:08:01

I'd love to experience a masonic hand squeeze, just for the experience of it.

@*Sticky*. I was thinking of going for a dramatic faint the next time someone tries to roll and crack my knuckles under the brute force of their grip. Perhaps I'll even raise a delicate hand to my forehead and declare "Oh my stars, poor little me" as a waft down into a ladylike heap. grin

MoreBeta Fri 19-Jun-15 22:51:48

lili - 'I'd love to experience a masonic hand squeeze, just for the experience of it.'

Imagine you are sat down at a party and a late middle aged bloke sidles up and sits down next to you then puts his hand on your knee, gives it a bit of a squeeze followed by a knowing leer.

Its like that. Bit too personal and definitely not welcome.

lilivonshtupp Sat 20-Jun-15 02:02:49

Sounds like quite the experience MoreBeta.
Quite the slimy, gak experience I was thinking it would be. I think the Masons should certainly remain secret. <shudders>
The only way of describing that whole scenario is unpleasantly moist sounding.

VenusRising Sat 20-Jun-15 03:09:44

Fist bump only. Or wave when offered a hand shake.

I broke my right wrist a few years ago and after that I can't shake hands- it's too painful.
Also I get nickel allergy from keys / coins etc, so don't like to touch anyone's hand.

I fist bump or wave to everyone including Masons as I don't want my hand to hurt / come out in Masonic moistness blisters.

TedAndLola Mon 22-Jun-15 13:24:33

Why do you have to "do" anything in response? It only lasts a few seconds so squeeze back with the pressure you feel like applying and that's that, job done.

I wouldn't call someone on it because most people are taught to shake hands firmly. It's not always about ego and power, sometimes it's trying to make a good impression.

FatherHenderson Mon 22-Jun-15 22:44:56

Sometimes it is about power though. I like a firm handshake, and I have no issues with arthritis, but in my professional life there have been men who have tried to intimidate me my hurting my hand.

If it is really bad I have bent my knees and winced. I did this once in a meeting of senior partners at a law firm, the managing partner was appalled that a member of his team had basically assaulted a member of their profession to prove some kind of point. We were on the same side and it made him look like an inadequate who had to prove how big his willy was by crushing a woman's hand. Twat.

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