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Resigning becasue of my boss. Do I tell her boss before I leave?

(21 Posts)
AdventureBe Wed 17-Jun-15 19:27:56

I work in a school office at a lovely school. 4 office staff, all working p-t.

Our boss, the school business manager, is very nice and very good at her job.....except that she is the worst control freak I have ever met.

I am never just allowed to do my job. Each day starts with her telling me exactly what my plans are for the day and exactly what order and how I am to carry out all the tasks. I'm not stupid, I had a "proper" career before this job and managed a team much larger than hers.

The main reason I'm leaving is because I can take any more of not being allowed to think for myself. The work isn't exciting, but if I was allowed to manage my own day, I think it would be interesting enough for now and I love the school and the people.

Anyway, I was wondering if I should have a quiet word with the head before I go, as I know the other 3 staff feel the same way, for the good of the school.

OTOH, she does ensure the school runs well and I might need her help in my new job (same as hers) at another school.

WWYD?

Unexpected Wed 17-Jun-15 20:24:13

Resigning seems a bit dramatic. Have you ever spoken to her about this? Or raised it in your appraisal? If she doesn't realise how she is coming across, then she will carry on in exactly the same way. On the other hand, if you have already raised this with her and she hasn't changed, then it probably would be appropriate to have an exit meeting with the Head to discuss some of this.

AdventureBe Wed 17-Jun-15 20:32:18

Oh no. I've got a fab new job to go to. It was the boss and her control freakery that made me start looking though.

HermioneWeasley Wed 17-Jun-15 20:33:50

Now that you're leaving, do you feel you could say something to you STBX boss?

AdventureBe Wed 17-Jun-15 20:35:00

She knows and thinks it's necessary, to make sure everything gets done. TBF, one of our team does need this kind of management.

May09Bump Wed 17-Jun-15 20:37:28

No, don't shoot yourself in the foot on the way out - you might need a reference from her in future. The other staff can speak for themselves.

You have another job with more responsibility - just get on with that.

twentyten Wed 17-Jun-15 20:40:30

Always leave well.

CamelHump Wed 17-Jun-15 20:46:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChuckBiscuits Wed 17-Jun-15 20:54:49

TBF, one of our team does need this kind of management.

Unfortunately, if she just did it to one then she could be accused of favouritism.

Try and understand it and just move on and don't burn any bridges.

bellathebluebell Wed 17-Jun-15 22:02:33

No no no...

Much as you think you might be helping everyone, you need to look after yourself first. This means leaving on good terms and leaving the door open.

For all you know, she might be top dog in the Head's eyes in which case you will shoot yourself right in the foot...

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Jun-15 22:06:05

Just say to the headteacher, "If you want to know why I'm leaving, you only have to ask." Then it's up to him.

scribblegirl Wed 17-Jun-15 22:21:47

I did do this. But it was because the other members on my level asked me to, I had a reference sorted, and I had a good relationship with my boss' boss. I basically asked for a meeting in confidence, and then said that I wanted to illustrate on my reasons for leaving. That I respected the way that she was running things, and I was leaving off my own steam, but that as someone who was leaving the organisation I had no axe to grind so thought it was fair to give some insight to a level he didn't see often. He thanked me for my input but said nothing at the time.

To be fair it was an unusual situarion in that she was an external manager on contract, but I do know her contract wasn't renewed next time around. I also wasn't the first in the team to leave unexpectedly.

I would only do this, however, if I genuinely thought that it would make a difference for those who were staying and I was 100% confident that it wouldn't affect my new job. And that I could trust ultimate boss when I told him things in confidence.

scribblegirl Wed 17-Jun-15 22:22:39

*ellaborate on my reasons - I can type, honest!

Rudawakening Wed 17-Jun-15 22:29:13

Don't burn your bridges on the way up, you never know which ones you might need to cross on the way back down.

Always a good adage to live by in my opinion. Let the other staff speak up if they feel that strongly about it.

flowery Thu 18-Jun-15 11:28:06

Depends how you think the HT would handle it. Giving some...constructive feedback about your manager doesn't necessarily mean you burn bridges with that manager, or leave on bad terms, unless the HT handles it badly.

Stealthpolarbear Thu 18-Jun-15 12:12:51

Have you been offered an exit onterview

Stealthpolarbear Thu 18-Jun-15 12:13:41

Plus I don't agree that managing different staff with different levels of skill and experience, or who are performing a different levels differently is favouritism!

flowery Thu 18-Jun-15 12:31:36

I agree. Some staff need more direction than others, depending on their skills, experience, personal attributes and what job they are doing. Managing staff in a way that brings the best out of them as individuals is a good skill, not favouritism.

wol1968 Thu 18-Jun-15 15:04:49

You can say something tactfully if the subject comes up, as in that your style of working and her style of management were incompatible, and that you personally are more comfortable with less direction/happier in a role where you are required to organise your own workload. If you remove the emotion from the way you describe your working environment, and don't attribute thoughts or opinions to anyone else (even though they've told you so) they may just take it on board without getting anyone offended.

DragonWithAGirlTattoo Thu 18-Jun-15 15:15:50

you dont have to do a complete character assassination, you can put it in to 'grown up words' how you found her management style .... annoying (not grown up word sorry!)

EBearhug Fri 19-Jun-15 00:07:36

I would, but I'd try to do it constructively.

I did at my last place, although it was just one point among about 5; I met said manager some months later out shopping, and he was quite chatty, so I don't think the way I'd done it had caused him major problems.

I will do it in my current place, too (if I go externally, rather than internally), because I know at least 3 others have left because of him, but HR appear entirely unaware of this (I was making a complaint without leaving), as those leaving just said they had another job when they went, despite at least one of them having promised he would tell HR he was going because of the manager. And I have enough faith in my abilities to do it in a way that will not burn my bridges.

They say that most people join a company, but leave a manager, so I suppose HR should be aware if there are patterns.

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