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Work Anxiety

(9 Posts)
breadstix Thu 04-Jun-15 18:05:36

I don't really know if this is the right place, but if anyone has any advice, I'd be very grateful.

I am having a really hard time at work at the moment - well, really over the past year. It's been building up and seems to be coming to a head.

My managers are not happy with my my behaviours and some of my work. It boils down to me not showing enough, I think they would term, leadership qualities. They say I am too passive and not sufficiently high profile for my role. They have done quite a lot of giving me more responsibility, whilst taking away my authority. I have always thought I was quite good at what I do, but I have no confidence left and I can't see the wood for the trees anymore and am thinking that maybe they are right? Maybe they do have a point and I'm just not good.

I feel sick with apprehension all the time. I'm never more than a glance away from having a panic attack in the loos. I get in early and leave late. Work that I thought was OK is returned with comments such as it's not good enough, but with no explanation as to what is wrong with it, so when I try and amend it, I'm in the dark as to what to do.

I just feel hopeless. I really do. I want to leave but I am the main earner and I can't just give it up, but the way this is going I will be sacked anyway.

This is triggered by me having today off but checking my BB to find a message about being called into a meeting on Monday to explain something I've done. I can't stop crying and I'm going to spend all weekend in an utter panic now and it's so horrible.

Could anyone please give me an idea of a way forward? What could I do?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Thu 04-Jun-15 18:08:45

Are you in a union bread?

breadstix Thu 04-Jun-15 18:14:52

No. I'm not but I was thinking of joining one. But I don't know how helpful they would be ... they seem quite management friendly.

ageingdisgracefully Thu 04-Jun-15 18:21:58

Please join that union! And contact Acas for advice. Make notes of what's happening if you're not already, and keep anything that can help you prove what's happening.

Do you have appraisals? Is there anyone in HR you can speak to?


SpongeBobJudgeyPants Thu 04-Jun-15 18:29:11

Might be asking something really obvious, but have you raised this with your line-manager? It may be that you just work in a horrible place and there is another agenda here?

breadstix Thu 04-Jun-15 18:37:01

I think I will join the union. It might help when it all kicks off. I know that it is going to. Do ACAS deal with or advise on individual cases?

My appraisal was not good. I didn't agree with it, but I'm so embarrassed and ashamed; I can't believe anyone would think that of me - that I'm not good at what I do. I felt blindsided. I've always worked really hard and I'm experienced and knowledgeable, I just can't see why my manager is targeting me so relentlessly.

I feel like I want to crawl under a rock and hide from the shame of it. I'm sorry - that's not very constructive, is it?

I need a deep breath (or a thousand) and a plan, I think. ACAS and a union is a good start. Thank you.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Thu 04-Jun-15 18:51:54

It might not be you that's the problem, or your work. Could there be a possibility that they want rid of you because of redundancies coming up or something? How long have you worked for them?

flowery Thu 04-Jun-15 20:00:18

Personally I think your plan ought to very much focus on getting yourself a new job elsewhere so that you can remove yourself from this situation as soon as possible.

Mavisblewitt Fri 05-Jun-15 05:47:29

I've been in your shoes, I put up with it for 3 years and ended up on anti depressants and almost split with my partner sad i was also the sole breadwinner, my partner had lost his job and was struggling to find another one, my employers knew this, and knew I was struggling with anxiety,mets already but it didn't stop them piling on the pressure.
The best thing you can do is find another job. I was extremely lucky and found something better with employers who value me, and looking back on it now I can see it was THEIR problem, not mine.
Massive sympathies OP flowers

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