gobsmacked at the rudeness!

[airedailleurs]

Not sure how to deal with this one. I'd like to address it at work tomorrow but don't want to get it wrong. Advice welcome please!

I am the only woman working in a small investment management firm and have a p.a./admin type role. I normally work in the mornings only, but was asked to work this afternoon as there are very few people in my office and we had a meeting with important visitors and my boss wanted the office to look 'busy'. So, I changed my schedule for the day and planned to stay until 4pm, also to help serve refreshments.

Half way through the meeting, one of the guests and one of my colleagues came out of the meeting room into the main office to get something from the kitchen. My colleague introduced the other employee who was in the main office with me to the guest, but even though I had just got some drinks from the fridge for the guest and was standing right in front of him, my colleague completely ignored me and didn't introduce me!!

WWYD? AIBU to be seriously p*ed off?

[Hoppinggreen]

Is it really a huge deal? As a one off it wouldn't much bother me but if it was the last in a long line of incidents I might tackle it.

[madreloco]

Seriously? Presumably you are not someone the client needs to know and therefore didn't feel the need to introduce you. Why should they?

[Aridane]

I think it depends on the role of your colleague . Also - would you already have been sort of introduced / said hello to as you were serving refreshments?

[airedailleurs]

but the context of the ignoring was that I was right in front of my other colleague who WAS introduced...and I was only serving refreshments as a favour, my usual role is office manager ...and it is unfortunately not a one-off. FWIW my colleague also found it very strange...

[Hoppinggreen]

Is it just possible that you felt that serving refreshments was a bit below your pay grade and you are being a tad over sensitive?
That's my observation based purely on what I've read here - I don't know the backstory ( if there is one)

[airedailleurs]

no I don't have an issue with that at all, I was the obvious person to do it and was happy to help out as it was a very important meeting, and I wasn't actually "serving" when the guest was in the main office, I was just showing him what drinks were in the fridge and handing him the ones he wanted.

I guess I'm not really explaining the dynamics of the situation very well, but trust me, my colleague was out of order!

[PurpleSwift]

Non issue

[airedailleurs]

Interesting...I think it would have been just common courtesy to have been introduced, irrespective of my role, and that's what my other colleague thought too. I guess you just had to be there.

[Hoppinggreen]

You are probably right but not being introduced isn't really terrible is it?
Just forget about it

[TheCowThatLaughs]

It's obviously rude to introduce everyone except one person isn't it?

[dinoswore]

I think it was very rude. Unfortunately I don't have any advice to offer as I am totally clueless at handling situations like this and usually come away feeling like I got it terribly wrong.

Actually, I do have advice - I can word things so much better in an email than fave to face. Could you open a discussion with your colleague this way?

[airedailleurs]

I can't let this lie...we are a small office and I like to think we're a team. What happened today broke all the rules. I will speak to him tomorrow and ask him to help me understand why he did it and that he upset me. What really p*es me off is that, knowing him, he did it to make himself (he thought) look cool. He actually made himself look like an ignorant jerk. thanks for your responses everyone!

[LineRunner]

That's rude and actually quite stupid as it may have made the guest feel quite uncomfortable.

If I were such a business guest, I wouldn't be impressed if the firm I was planning to do business with treated certain people and roles as invisible. It would make me think twice about the firm's business values, actually.

[airedailleurs]

thank you linerunner you've got it...I may also tell the big boss what happened for this very reason.

[LowryFan]

If it happens in future, I just introduce myself if I ever seem to have become invisible to a twatty colleague. They normally remember their manners after that!

[airedailleurs]

Yes I thought of that but I didn't want to draw attention to his ignorance either though, the client really is a very big and important one and I thought it wiser to just be quiet.

[TheClacksAreDown]

You're overthinking this. In the nicest possible way you are support staff and indeed were specifically acting in this role. If you've got a client or business associate coming in they may be interested to be introduced to other business folk but will not be interested in you I'm afraid.

[LineRunner]

Small companies need to distinguish themselves from the crowd, so showing impeccable manners towards each other within the company is vital, as if they can't be decent to one another, what does that say about how they are going to treat partners and clients?

Poor manners screams poor training, poor ethics and piss poor practice.

[airedailleurs]

linerunner precisely!

[airedailleurs]

Theclacksaredown no I'm not overthinking anything, just reacting as any normal person would to rudeness. Have you read Linerunner's posts? Have you read my description of the situation?

[DorisLessingsCat]

It was rude and anyone who thinks that support staff / lower grade staff should be treated differently is stuck in the 1960s.

Good luck with your conversation today.

[airedailleurs]

Thank you Doris. It's interesting to see the divergence of opinions on this btw!

[HapShawl]

Definitely rude, I agree with linerunner

[SetPhasersTaeMalkie]

All staff should be treated with courtesy. It certainly should not be role dependent. I'm surprised at some of these responses.

[TheCowThatLaughs]

Tea ladies: know your place!