Am I being bullied or just oversensitive?(8 Posts)
I startedymy part time job a year ago. It was my first job since my baby and I was a bit flustered to start with. I was on antidepressants which made me act a bit dreamy I passed my probation fine but a couple of tasks I was given I did wrong and I tried to do the work of two people which backfired. However, whatever I have sonce done well is not good enough for a certain colleague and she won't stop nagging at me about every little thing. She checks my emails and picks things out of them to moan at me about. If I make the slightest mistake she accuses me of talking too much. She makes mistakes herself and hates it if I find them. I only tell her if it impacts on the work. She complained at me for not taking some recycling. I asked her when it needed to be dobe and she didnt answer but when I told her this she said she told me and suggested I make a note in my outlook calendar. Basically if I try to defend myself she has a go at me. If I don't respond that annoys her too. If she asks me to do something and I need help she says she'll do it herself. She is just focusing on such small, slight things and never congratulates me when I do something right. I think she thinks I'm lazy because I work part time maybe. She is queen bee of the office everone loves her and I would be completely ostracized if I said anything. She is apparently now my supervisor although nobody has ever told me this officially so I have not treated her as such. I just don't know what to think or do.
If you have the courage confront her... Ask her if you have done anything wrong to her as a person and why she constantly belittles you. Try and give an example, on when she made you feel small and tell her that you feel that everything you do is wrong in her eyes, and that it is making you feel uncomfortable.
Some people are just like that and seem to get a kick out of ruining someones day they pick a victim and chip away just so they can feel powerful. If it gets too bad and you can't face her talk to someone in HR.
Is she or isn't she your supervisor? Presumably you were informed of your line manager at the time of your appointment and if no one has informed you differently since, then that hasn't changed. Can you speak to the person who IS you line manager about this issue or otherwise speak to HR?
Is she a supervisor? I would start with getting clarification of who you report to directly and speak to them. If she is your supervisor find her direct report and ask to speak to them about it.
Personally, I would not ask why she constantly belittles you.
On each individual occasion that she says something critical, ask her for clarification, ideally by asking her to refer you to the written process. If there isn't one, ask her to jot down some bullet points for your guidance. You can then write them up, and ask her to check your understanding.
At the very least you will have clearer processes to follow. At best, she may be glad to have things formalised. It could be the first step in improving the processes to make them more efficient.
I've seen this where some people have been in post a long time, and all the processes are in their head. A new person hasn't much chance of following them correctly!
Can you give us some examples of what you did and what she then did, just to give you some examples of what to say/do when she does things.
Who do you report to? Find that out and then speak to them.
What training did you initially receive? Was it sufficient to carry out your duties? If not, raise it as an issue with your actual supervisor or HR.
In the meantime document everything. I would go as far as to let her know you are doing it. Ask her to repeat herself so you can take a note of it.
If the facts are as you outline there is no doubt you are being bullied. Her attitude is a disgrace and she should not be managing anyone if that's the level of her people skills.
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