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How do I make this better...

(8 Posts)
Andcake Wed 03-Dec-14 13:25:01

I work for a small company and the dynamics have changed recently (more male employees when it used to be more female - change in a few clients) and I am finding that now I am more sidelined. In the many years I have been here one of the partners seems to suddenly dislike people and then they get fired. Nothing they can say is right - I fear this is now happening to me. I don't know whether to just suck it up (sole breadwinner - would be hard to find another 4 day a week job) or actually say something. I occasionally want to speak to the other partner about it but the 2 partners are never really very honest with each other tbh. I would look for another job but I love my Fridays off with my son. I don't know whether to have a chat with the awkward partner. I am trying to just be positive with everyone go the extra mile - but it's upsetting and I'm scared and not as professionally satisfied as I was.

Andcake Wed 03-Dec-14 13:27:18

oh and the last time someone tried to do the adult thing and have a conversation about 'their place in the office' when they were seen like this they left that day ...

TinyWishes Wed 03-Dec-14 20:12:39


I think they would find it very hard to fire you because they suddenly don't like you anymore.

My advice would be (if you are ready to make the jump to another company and don't count yourself out because of your 4 day week preference) another employer may be more understanding than you think.

In the Fridays you have coming up you should if you like, visit a couple of employment agencies. Mention you would now like a change of employer, more money, more responsibility and see what crops up.

Only interview on Fridays and your current employer wouldn't know.

In the mean time, keep your wits about you, keep your head down and don't give them any reason to start to dislike you.

iamthenewgirl Wed 03-Dec-14 20:22:55

Good advice from Tinywishes... smile

Andcake Wed 03-Dec-14 22:17:20

Good advice - I have tidied up my cv and looked around a bit. Spoke to one recruiter ages ago who knows my 4 day preference- the problem is what I do is quite specific and I'm in a senior role. Only one thing has come up in 3 months 4 days a week and it was a half my salary hmm and a step down.
It's a very subjective creative industry where it's easy for someone to take against your opinion work then say you are bad at your job.
Had a reasonable honest chat with the more friendly partner where I raised my fears and said I enjoyed working for the company and didn't want to leave. I just need to find a way to be listened to and be heard again. In a now all male except me management team it seems hard. They all do that repeating what you just said as their own idea.
Spoke to dp this evening - I would earn so much more going 5 days from current job specs out there but I would prefer to spend time with ds.

TinyWishes Thu 04-Dec-14 09:39:42

When/if you speak to Partner at work again don't mention leaving. Just say you would like to be taken more seriously. Don't put that seed of doubt into their heads that you aren't loyal to them - just tell them what they want to hear for now. That could be the reason they could start to dislike you and want to out you.

Keep in touch with the recruiter and others - things can and will crop up out of the blue. An email once a fortnight will keep you in their minds.

Just bear in mind that even if you were to sacrifice Fridays with your son, at least he would have a happier parent to spend weekends with. And also - as you said you would all benefit financially - and you would be happier all round. Which is priceless.

Andcake Thu 04-Dec-14 15:59:35

Agree - I won't mention leaving explicitly. I have also tried to validate my loyalty.
the work thing doesn't impinge on my happiness at the weekends etc as I am too happy to be with my son (years of infertility thinking I woudl never have a baby) if DP could earn as much as me I would be a sahm in an instant! maybe i can hold out a few years until ds is at school and find a full time job.

TinyWishes Thu 04-Dec-14 19:47:13

Maybe that's not too far of an option. Have you looked at your finances? If you tighten the purse strings, even looked into changing the mortgage, maybe being a SAHM isn't too far off after all. Even if you have to move home into a slightly different area. How lovely it would be to tell your company you are off - and then you could work freelance from home.

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