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Anyone think they were sold a dummy about the world of work?

(8 Posts)
sparklecrates Mon 24-Nov-14 11:18:21

I'm wiring this because I feel mistake after yet another work situation has ended up with a cabal of people working against me trying to trip me up or even trying to gaslight me saying I've said things I haven't (even a few minutes after I've said something opposite).
I've just run a project for two years that has been a struggle all the way with politics and BS and as it's coming more and more to fruition there are more and more negative actions coming from the team. The worst team members are projecting their inadequacies onto me and I am being tricked into being the only one addressing this behaviour which is giving these characters the ammunition to call me 'negative'

I know where it all comes from as one characteristic of this project is that it's full of people who say that they know how to do it better but when I give them responsibility or ask for their plan. . They make excuses and leave, however I ask this because I have so often been in situations where I have been doing the job well getting good results and then see this happens instead of promotion or recognition. On this case I am getting more crap from the team than from stakeholders. . and now we are at 'can't hide' stage weaker people are threatening to leave the project just before they have to start to deliver seemingly so they can blame me instead of themselves for not delivering.
I was allays led to believe that if you had talent or worked hard and did things well then you would progress but it seems the opposite is true. Is this what all work is like?

rockup Mon 24-Nov-14 12:37:55

Yep, Im afraid the ability to master the political Dard Triad of personality traits is the most important tool in the path to career success.

Thewiseonenot Mon 24-Nov-14 14:17:13

How successful you are depends on how good you are on bringing people on your side and make them like you...enough to follow you and wanting to work for you because they like it, they feel part of the solution and can share glory/ benefits.

It's not about how clever or how hard you work...

The skill is natural in some but can be learnt IF you decide to see good in other people and not just in yourself.

This said by somebody who has been observing this for the last 20 years...

peppaistired Mon 24-Nov-14 15:56:26

In my experience, some people at work have the knack of getting everybody on their side, even those who they don't agree with.

The problem is that if you start to look at the rights and wrongs, you can get stuck in very difficult moral situations. The best players at work are those who seem to turn a blind eye on to a lot of stuff, and just get on with the work. Not being affected by the politics of it all is a great gift too.

Unfortunately, I can't say that I've been that person, but I wish I were, though.

rockup Mon 24-Nov-14 15:58:40

I think a lot of it comes down to knowing how to manpulate people to get them to want to achieve your goals for you. This can be done in a way that is positive for the other person as well, the win-win situation.

sparklecrates Mon 24-Nov-14 19:55:54

Oh I can do all that seeing good in others stuff but that is what always hangs me when people make their moves to undermine. The strange thing is that the better that goes the more resentful some team members became. They hid it well but just turned one day and I realised they Were seeking to gain status not by doing the job well but getting a club together against me. It was all the misfits and negatives that did it. I think perhaps I should just manovre them out.

iamthenewgirl Mon 24-Nov-14 22:29:08

Ah yes, work relationships... I could write a tome on that... Nothing is ever simple when people are involved. You have my sympathies. flowers

Preciousbane Tue 25-Nov-14 16:29:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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