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Forced to work with abusive XP

(4 Posts)
CowPatRoberts Thu 13-Nov-14 16:49:50

Re-posted from Relationships

NC for this post, and trying desperately not to drip feed- sorry if I’ve left anything out.

I was in a very abusive relationship in my mid-twenties (physical and emotional) which ended when the P in question spent 2 hours kicking and punching me in a drunken rage, afterwards he cried and essentially demanded comfort from me and made me promise I wouldn't leave him, he couldn't live without me blahblahblah.

I left the next morning on the pretense of going shopping and never went back, my parents picked up all of my belongings and I ignored all his calls and texts. I returned the engagement ring. In the 4 years since that happened I’ve fallen in love, moved cities and started a great new job- all in all I’m pretty smug about life! wine

However the company I work with has hired him, not such a huge coincidence as he used to work here before moving abroad shortly after we broke up, and for 3 months I didn’t have to see him and if we did bump into each other he was coolly professional. I was asked if it was a problem by my team leader a few weeks after he started (they knew he was an ex but nothing else) but by then he had already started and I was afraid of rocking the boat, I was happy in what I was doing and as he wasn’t causing me any problems I decided to ignore it.

A few weeks ago I was made aware that the director of the company had been told of the violent incident and he called me that weekend to check if it was true, I confirmed it was but there was no course of action suggested, he just emailed me to say he’d set up a meeting when we were back at work.

Then things started to take an odd turn, I went into work the following Monday and someone had been on my computer and deleted the email from my inbox (not realizing I had already received it on my laptop and had the foresight to save it). He then never brought it up again and essentially pretended he didn’t know about it, and I was too embarrassed to bring it up. A couple of weeks later and I’ve been moved into the same room as XP, he’s very passive aggressive and despite all the growing up I’ve done he makes me feel 25 years old again and about 2 inches tall. I can’t speak to any of my senior colleagues about this, they’re all super matey with him but I feel like it’s a deliberate punishment and I feel cornered.

I've posted this in Relationships previously and was directed here so would really appreciate your help thanks

GarlicNovember Thu 13-Nov-14 17:07:53

Thread in Relationships smile Hope that's okay, OP? Good luck this evening!

CowPatRoberts Thu 13-Nov-14 17:09:57

Aw Garlic, thanks love!

flowery Thu 13-Nov-14 23:26:40

This is all very strange. Do you have any idea what the directors motive would be in backtracking and moving you into the same room as your ex? What do you feel you are being "punished" for?

I assume you have no desire to work with your ex - sorry it's not clear how long he's been working there. Is it a big company, is redeployment of one of you viable or are you looking for a new job?

Just want to get a handle on where you want this to end up/where you see it ending up.

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