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How important is your job to you?

(21 Posts)
amyhamster Mon 10-Nov-14 21:03:50

I'm currently doing a job that just about pays the bills, is not particulalry stimulating but it is enjoyable and I get on well with the people there

but I've been for an internal promotion recently and didn't get it and it seems to have coloured the way I view the job

I can't stop thinking about it and me & dh were talking and he said he never thinks/ worries about his job - he leaves work at work and thinks aotu other stuff at home I guess

I was analysing the interview, what I said, didn't say, driving myself mad basically and wondering why I spent all weekend thinking about work when there's much more important things to think about surely, but at the moment I can't think what

so does work rule your life? Do you think about it when you're not there?

ismellonehugerat Mon 10-Nov-14 21:59:28

I've done various jobs and it just depends on the job/company/boss/colleagues.

I've thought about my job a lot when I am stressed and under pressure, when I've had a demanding/horrible boss and when I've worked with colleagues I don't particularly like. I've also thought about work when I've really enjoyed my job and being doing well. It seems to be when I am at either end of the happiness/miserable spectrum!

There is a reason why you didn't get that job and it could be a very minor reason. Don't beat yourself up about it. It could very well be that there is something much bigger and better around the corner!

amyhamster Fri 14-Nov-14 16:30:19

thanks for replying smile
sorry to took so long to see your post

yes I know what you mean, only thinking about it when you're miserable or happy

plus the feedback was exactly what you said, just missed out!

ChillySundays Fri 14-Nov-14 23:31:09

Different jobs - different problems. My job is in admin and I am forever going home leaving piles of paperwork that hasn't been dealt with/e-mails not replied to. My DH can go on holiday without worrying about finishing piles of work but has targets which are stressful as well as having to be on the end of the phone 24/7.

I also applied for an job internally recently. Not a promotion just full time hours in different department. Didn't even get an interview and I was so upset. Did colour my views until my boss said it was the other department's loss. Looking back on it now I can appreciate that my DH only has a few years until retirement so although the extra money would have come in handy it will be nice to be working part time hours when my DH retires

CookieDoughKid Sat 15-Nov-14 15:34:58

I think women stew over it too much and we end up in anguish whereas men can leave it at work easier. Don't be too hard on yourself. There is no harm in looking elsewhere... You'll never know what you'll find!

amyhamster Sat 15-Nov-14 15:41:23

I also applied for an job internally recently. Not a promotion just full time hours in different department. Didn't even get an interview and I was so upset

yes this is what happened

sad worst thing is not knowing when the next opportunity will come up as people tend to stay there for years and next time even more will apply

amyhamster Sat 15-Nov-14 15:41:55

agree with women stewing though

justcallmethefixer Sat 15-Nov-14 16:19:08

I'm a bugger for thinking about work at home, checking emails, taking phone calls even logging into the cctv and vehicle trackers just to see what is going on.

I have various apps on my phone to allow me to deal with work related issues in 'my time'.

Several of us are like this and we are forever telling each other to switch the apps off, don't answer, etc, but we are the same people that also say any problems call meconfused

I do love my job though, the people make me feel valued and as it is a small company my input can make a difference

ChillySundays Sat 15-Nov-14 18:58:28

Amy - same here. Positions don't come up too often. Not sure if I could cope with the humiliation again if I didn't get an interview!!!

slightlyglitterstained Sat 15-Nov-14 19:13:25

Looking on the bright side, sometimes it's worth applying even if you don't get it, because it gets your name on people's minds as someone who's interested in promotion. This can be very handy in management team meetings if they're deciding who should get some interesting opportunity/training - you'd think this would be carefully considered, best candidate evaluated etc. In real life, it's usually "oh, and we've got an unexpected place on this training course - who should we give it to?" "What about [literally first name that comes into manager's head]?" "Yeah, sure, seems reasonable."

I.e. it's not quite as much of an all or nothing thing as "you didn't get it". You started a process that might eventually lead to promotion, even if it didn't happen this time around.

Hassled Sat 15-Nov-14 19:18:58

I think about work way too much - wake up going through lists of what I need to do, what I forgot to do yesterday, etc etc. It's not good - and I'm only doing 4 days at the moment.

But I think in your shoes I'd be way worse - over-analysing, over-thinking, feeling humiliated. Not getting a job when you're confident you could do it is like a kick in the teeth - I really sympathise. You'll bounce back - we always do - but be gentle with yourself in the meantime. It's a hard thing to deal with.

amyhamster Sat 15-Nov-14 19:42:05

This thread is helping so much

Hassled you're post almost made me cry

& humilated is exactly how I feel

But you're right , going for things puts you on the map
In my feedback interview they suggested mentoring, shadowing , training. If I'd never been interviewed I wouldn't have even spoken to my boss' boss !
But yes the waiting for the next opportunity is soul destroying

amyhamster Sat 15-Nov-14 19:44:56

After the feedback I feel 100% confident I could nail the next interview tomorrow

But in 5 years time , when the questions have changed yet again , when the panel has changed , not so much !!

It's so frustrating !

ChillySundays Sat 15-Nov-14 20:40:50

Maybe next time even if the questions have changed you will be able to answer then because of the additional training etc. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that it is less than five years.

In my case I got a standard thanks but no thanks letter in the post and if I hadn't asked why there would have been no feedback and the HR person came back to me with it rather than someone from the selection panel. She struggled to deal with any comments I was making as she hadn't been there.

Found out a couple months later the same thing had happened to someone else internally

amyhamster Sat 15-Nov-14 20:50:11

God Chilli that's awful

I know retirement age people who've never progressed & they're so bitter
Don't want to end up old & cross grin

slightlyglitterstained Sat 15-Nov-14 21:41:35

It may be worth asking if anyone in your organisation will do mock interviews, if you think it will be a long time till the next one.

Also, tbh I have always been willing to give feedback on interviews, but only once been asked, even when I phoned personally to deliver the news (usually HR would do this). Think it's pretty common not to offer feedback unless requested, even internally. (I always wanted to say "why aren't you asking me why? Ask me, dammit!")

One of the benefits of a mock interview is that you are likely to get much more frank and detailed feedback, because the entire purpose is for you to learn.

ChillySundays Sat 15-Nov-14 21:46:23

My job is a job not a career and it the sort of job where there is no progression. I am not fussed as I have gone for these part time jobs as the hours always fitted in with school hours.

I won't be resentful on that score as I did what I felt was right so I was home with the kids after school. However at the time I was very bitter than I was basically doing a very similar job but in a different department so basically I was good enough to work in one department but not good enough to get an interview for another.

As I said earlier it will mean more time with DH when he retires and even though my DC have left school it is still nice to spend time with them as they seem to be so busy on the weekend

Only1scoop Sat 15-Nov-14 21:48:44

I never think about work when I'm not there....I work for 2 weeks then have 2 off. I'd never get another job with the perks and hours etc....

Good outweighs the bad for sure

amyhamster Sat 15-Nov-14 23:22:01

Oh yes I always ask for feedback

it always says 'you were very good just someone was better'

c'est la vie !

stargirl1701 Sat 15-Nov-14 23:34:51

It was virtually my entire before I had children. I thought about it all the time, everywhere. Lesson planning in the shower, brushing my teeth, sitting in traffic, etc. Looking for resources every time I went shopping - charity shops, IKEA, etc.

Teacher.

threepiecesuite Sat 15-Nov-14 23:41:39

Teacher - yes, it consumes every part of my life, I think about it every waking hour and has an impact on every thing we do.
I'm sitting here with a pile of books now, and it's 11.45 on a Saturday night. I hate it.

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