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Going part time has ruined my career

(21 Posts)
TinTinsSexySister Mon 03-Mar-14 10:17:12

I went back to work nearly two years ago, three days a week and went up to four days last year.

There's a promotion up for grabs and it's clearly going to my colleague who has cotton wool for a brain but she's full time.

She's also spent the last four months going round the office telling everyone she thought I was pregnant and that there was going to be "lots of opportunity" for her this year as myself and another woman on the team would probably be going on maternity leave again.

I think I hate her. I definitely loathe her. I can't report into someone I don't respect and who I consider to be stupid and dangerous.

If I went back full time my boss would have no choice but to give me the promotion over her, as I am far more qualified, but I am lucky enough to be afford that one day a week with DD and I want to take that opportunity.

expatinscotland Mon 03-Mar-14 10:19:08

It often happens this way. sad

mercibucket Mon 03-Mar-14 10:28:40

why would it matter for the promotion? be more positive and go round 'talking the talk' like your colleague clearly is, it is really about how committed to the job you sound.

flowery Mon 03-Mar-14 10:30:34

If I went back full time my boss would have no choice but to give me the promotion over her

Have you actually applied for the role? What makes you think it's "clearly" going to your unpleasant colleague if you are so much more qualified/experienced that you think your boss literally would have no choice but to give it to you?

I think four days a week shouldn't really impact your career tbh.

JohnGilpinsWife Mon 03-Mar-14 10:33:02

Agree with PP. Plenty of promoted part-timers where I work. Speak to your boss, OP. Sounds like the problem is more with crap management that with your colleague who just knows how to play the game

TheXxed Mon 03-Mar-14 10:36:15

I agree with Flowery. I think you need to step back and view this situation more objectively.

AnnieLobeseder Mon 03-Mar-14 10:38:01

I'd agree with other posters who say you need to get that promotion for yourself. You're resigned to not getting it without even trying. If this other women is as poor at her job as you say, then your bosses will have noticed. However, if you don't give them the opportunity to choose you, they will have no choice but to pick her.

The people who get noticed and promoted are people who have self-confidence in their ability to handle the extra work, who put themselves forward and who have an attitude of wanting to get ahead in the company. Very little to do with actual hours worked. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, grow a pair and actively promote your own career.

Unexpected Mon 03-Mar-14 10:40:49

How has being part-time ruined your career? You seem to have talked yourself out of the promotion without even applying for it. You also haven't given any concrete examples of how your colleague is hindering your current role. If people are stupid enough to believe someone who tells them she thinks you are pregnant and bad-mouthing you, that says everything about them and nothing about you. Apply for the job with a clearly-reasoned case explaining how you would manage it in four days.

TinTinsSexySister Mon 03-Mar-14 10:50:18

Thanks everyone.

You are all right. I am feeling a bit negative today about it as up until last week I was pretty confident I was going to get it.

I agree with JohnGilpinsWife: "Sounds like the problem is more with crap management that with your colleague --who just knows how to play the game--"

This is sums up exactly how I feel about it.

The reason I thought I "clearly would get it" is because my boss approached me about it first but it seems there has been some politicking in the meantime by my colleague (hence my rant about her tactics) and now he's backtracking and she's going around telling everyone she's been offered it. Not 100% sure that bit is true and my boss is avoiding me.

She's out-manouvered me and my ego is bruised! Sorry for coming across as a total knobber blush

TinTinsSexySister Mon 03-Mar-14 10:50:35

Sorry - strikethrough fail!

LucyLasticBand Mon 03-Mar-14 10:52:48

oh so you did apply for it?

LucyLasticBand Mon 03-Mar-14 10:55:36

you may well get there in the end regarding your career but you want to spend time with your dc. you say.
is the job a full time position?

LucyLasticBand Mon 03-Mar-14 10:56:07

and perhaps your colleagues dont want you as their boss?

Unexpected Mon 03-Mar-14 10:58:56

Set up a meeting with your boss. Remind him that he approached you about the role and that you are very interested but you are confused as you have now heard your colleague announcing that she has got the job. Ask when the job is going to be advertised internally, when formal interviews are going to be held, then leave it up to him to sort it out.

Looking at the situation from the other side, perhaps your colleague is upset that she was interested in the role but the first she knows about is your boss having a meeting with you about it. Perhaps she felt similarly out manoeuvred?

TinTinsSexySister Mon 03-Mar-14 11:10:25

Yes, I've applied.

Unexpected: That's great advice. I am going to do just that. Thank you v much.

I think my frustration stems from a feeling that - issues with my colleague aside - I feel that even with all things being equal between the two candidates for the job, my boss would give it to the other person because I work part time.

I don't know how to go about circumnavigating that.

I have already offered to change my day off to another, as he felt that my day off was an important day for the promoted person to be in the office and agreed to work from the office everyday, rather than working from home occasionally as I am allowed to do now.

So, I feel I have been flexible and keen and fought my corner. I am now going to take Unexpected's advice, as I said, but would welcome any other advice as well.

If I have to lose out on this to spend a day at home with DD then so be it. But I feel frustrated that that would be the case.

Also, no one at work has any idea about how I feel about my colleague. I am NEVER negative about her and indeed have waded in and fought her corner on occasion. I just vented here and it came out much meaner than I meant it to.

Some of the others in the team have approached me and said they felt it would be a shame for me not to get it over my colleague, as they feel I am a "safer pair of hands" but - as I say above - I have been very careful not to say anything negative about her.

TinTinsSexySister Mon 03-Mar-14 11:15:14

Sorry Lucy - I should mention that the role is a new one that has emerged out of a team restructure, so it is not clear if it needs to be full time.

Certainly at his initial approach to me my Boss was keen to explore the idea of a four day role - it would save costs apart from anything else!

It could well be that he has changed his mind but if he has that hasn't been communicated.

flowery Mon 03-Mar-14 11:35:09

"I feel that even with all things being equal between the two candidates for the job, my boss would give it to the other person because I work part time."

Why do you feel that though? Firstly, you yourself say that all things are otherwise not equal between yourself and your colleague, and secondly, your boss approached you, indicating that your assumption above isn't the case.

Even if there was an assumption in your organisation that part time = not good candidates for promotion, I genuinely think this is very unlikely to apply where you work 4 days a week.

I think if you don't get the role, it's not likely to be because of that tbh.

Homebird11 Mon 03-Mar-14 19:19:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallycinnamum Mon 03-Mar-14 20:13:42

OP, don't give up!! You've got to do as unexpected expertly advised and fight your corner.

As the others have said, 4 days really isn't that much of a leap from 5 and if you want the promotion then take some positive action and do your best to get it.

TinTinsSexySister Mon 03-Mar-14 20:24:03

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I am going to start tomorrow with a super positive attitude and just do my best.

Feel very blush at having ranted earlier. I could have - and should have - put most of that much better than I did.

Onwards and upwards (hopefully!)

Unexpected Tue 04-Mar-14 07:59:30

Don't worry about the rant - that is what MN is for! you let it all out here, then take yourself into work and knock their socks off with your drive, determination and professionalism! grin

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