In my team at work, everyone gets on with each other well, apart from two women who generally hate their jobs, hate the rest of the team, make little effort with anyone, and don't have a very nice way of going about things. They make this all very clear. I am a massive people pleaser, and so these two women like me, and we will occasionally even have lunch together etc, and they take an interest in my life etc. I think they are nice people and like them on a personal level, albeit they are not very nice to work with.
Last week, the two women were whispering in the office together, and Team Leader said to them "It's not polite to whisper, can you please leave the office and do it outside. Have some manners" or something along those lines. The two women made a complaint about the way they were spoken to, and management asked the rest of the team individually what we thought of the situation. Everyone said Team Leader was reasonable, not aggressive etc, so manager informed the two women no further action would be taken with their complaint.
The two women huffed and puffed about this in an 'of course everyone would back up team leader, since they are her friends etc' way, and Manager said "actually no, I also asked AhoyMcCoy who is impartial and gets on with both sides, and she has said Team Leader was reasonable."
These two women cornered me at lunch today. I wish I could explain how intimidating I sometimes find them, and how aggressive they can be, but I'm utterly useless in confrontation, and when they said to me "I can't believe you didn't back us up, that's so rude, you heard how she spoke to us" etc, I froze and just sort of stuttered along the lines of "I didn't really realise what I was being asked, I just sort of nodded along, I wasn't asked formally just in a chatty way" and tried to weasel out of it.
I spoke to manager after and told her they had confronted me, which put me in an awkward situation, explained how much I hate any form of confrontation, and explained that I'd really tried to minimise what I had said, and that I wanted nothing more to do with it if possible. Manager is lovely and understanding - I'm 6 months pregnant and after previous miscarriages am terrified of any stress etc, and said she would keep me out of it all.
Two women then went BACK to manager. Accused her of lying, of not conducting a proper investigation etc. Manager has said she will escalate this to someone independent to prove she conducted a fair investigation, but I can just picture it will end up in a meeting with the two women, me and manager, and I'll have to admit that I gave manager the original statement, then tried to deny this to the two women etc etc etc.
I can't explain how much this is all upsetting me - there is no way out of this for me where everything is good and no-one gets upset, and I get along with everyone. The 'best' thing to do would be for me to turn round to these two women and just say "yes, like EVERYONE ELSE in the office I thought Team Leader was reasonable. Sorry you don't see it that way", but I can't. When these two women are mad, you know about it. They will literally not speak a word to you, will stare straight through you, making barbed comments etc.
I know this is insanely long and childish - it's partly ranting and partly just a big WHAT DO I DOOOOO? It's going round in my head 24/7. Can't wait for my maternity leave to get away from it all TBH.
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Horrible work/confrontation situation � HELP!
18 replies
AhoyMcCoy · 27/02/2014 16:57
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LondonForTheWeekend ·
27/02/2014 21:49
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LondonForTheWeekend ·
27/02/2014 21:52
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LondonForTheWeekend ·
27/02/2014 22:10
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