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Please read the job description ...

(56 Posts)
2014ThisIsMyYear Tue 14-Jan-14 22:10:47

... before you bung in a generic application!!

I have spent 2 days reviewing over 100 applications for 1 job. We specified about 10 'essential' criteria which were listed in order of importance. Many applicants do not meet the top 3, but this sometimes doesn't become clear until we have read their online application plus a 3-page CV. Twice, in case we missed it first time round.

No matter how desperate you are, or how irresistible you are in the flesh, please read job descriptions carefully, and answer each point in turn. Sure, it's a pain and it takes time, but it could change your life.

Some other tips:
* Correct spelling matters. Especially when it's the name of your school/your town/our company.
* Simple grammar helps, eg start your name with a capital letter.
* Paragraphs or bullet points would be nice.

It's not rocket science ... just explain how you meet each 'essential' requirement in turn and you are ahead of most applicants smile

PedantMarina Tue 14-Jan-14 22:13:41

Hier hier!

Juuuussst kidding (sorry, can't resist a typo pun this late in the evening --after a whole bottle of wine--)

tracypenisbeaker Tue 14-Jan-14 22:15:35

Put it this way, if someone doesn't have the good sense to capitalise the first letter in their own name and needs a reminder such as yours, then there is probably no hope for them is there?

Blankiefan Wed 15-Jan-14 07:22:01

And lose the 7 page CVs! Unless you're very senior, 2 pages max....even if you have 40 years of experience. Summarise professionally, as you will have to when you get the job.

Although to be fair, with the number of applications for every job, I've found I'm looking for reasons to quickly fill my "no" pile. Irrelevancy, poor spelling, grammar, etc are good reasons to bin your cv...

TantrumsAndBalloons Wed 15-Jan-14 07:25:35

If you are applying for a job, open a generic hotmail etc account. So

Please do not make me reply to Fluffybunnykinsxxx or most memorably

Generic email. Takes 30 seconds.

annieorangutan Wed 15-Jan-14 07:27:39

- Dont writevin the work experience box 2008-2010 Odd jobs for a mate unless you want to sound like a drug dealer

- Dont start the job and then ring in an hour before you pulled someone last night and you cant naje it in as you dont have appropriate shoes

DameDeepRedBetty Wed 15-Jan-14 07:28:50

Another yy here... even for a semi-skilled job, we received over a hundred and fifty applications. I had to filter them somehow. Since being able to read complex instructions was part of it, we decided to loose all the glaring spelling errors. And before anyone has a go at us for discriminating against dyslexics etc, common sense and an ability to act on your own initiative were also going to be needed, so I'd expect a person with writing difficulties to have had the forethought to get help to check their letter and CV before posting it.

ARightOldPickle Wed 15-Jan-14 07:38:34

And another yes!
I particularly like the applications which are littered with errors - while in their personal statement they boast about 'paying attention to detail' Needless to say, they don't make it to the yes pile!

LadybirdsAreFab Wed 15-Jan-14 07:41:12

Don't write your CV in text speak, not clever and not funny. Goes straight in the bin.

LovingKent Wed 15-Jan-14 07:41:59

Ensure you are qualified for the role you are applying for (once had a doctor apply for a role as a speech and language therapist)
Ensure you get the company name right (over the years have had incorrect spellings as well as most memorably someone stating how pleased they would be to work for X which wasn't actually us!

WaitingForMe Wed 15-Jan-14 07:44:52

Don't put "I am suspicious of giraffes."

Yes someone actually did when applying to work for me.

WoodBurnerBabe Wed 15-Jan-14 07:45:42

Don't lie about your qualifications. Degrees are very very easy to check, universities do NOT like people claiming to have graduated from them if you haven't...

headlesslambrini Wed 15-Jan-14 07:45:57

I hope no-one would mind if I use some of these with the teenagers I work with.

furrymuff Wed 15-Jan-14 08:15:09

I get the same person applying for any admin job I short list for. They submit the same application each time which has the memorable line of "I like both boy babies and girl babies" - I have no idea why this is relevant but it makes me laugh every time! grin

FrontForward Wed 15-Jan-14 08:22:10

My favourites: (for a healthcare role). I'm used to locking people up as I've worked in a detention centre and I'm a postman so can do anything

cookiewoo Wed 15-Jan-14 08:25:53

I once shortlisted an application that stated 'I enjoy doing shit work'. She was applying for a role requiring 'shift' work.

VodkaRevelation Wed 15-Jan-14 08:38:09

Dame, I love that in your sentence about glaring spelling errors you used 'loose' instead of 'lose'! grin

FutureDreamer Wed 15-Jan-14 08:42:32

vodka [Grin]

FutureDreamer Wed 15-Jan-14 08:46:02

grin even

DameDeepRedBetty Wed 15-Jan-14 11:34:00

grin good thing I'm not applying for jobs today, just rampaging over MN!

To be serious, 'loose' and 'lose' are the sort that do slip through easily as spell checkers often don't pick them up. I wouldn't have binned a CV for that level of error, not for the jobs I was thinking about when I first posted on this thread.

ashInTheAttic Wed 15-Jan-14 12:03:40

Absolutely! My sister is dyslexic, so she hands her CVs over to me for proof reading before they get sent off..

Redcliff Wed 15-Jan-14 15:56:19

My favorite e-mail address on a job application was "stoned.all.the.time"

I spent all of yesterday short listing - 230 applications for 3 jobs. Getting it down to 12 almost cost me my will to live.

CrystalSkull Wed 15-Jan-14 18:25:27

My favourite LinkedIn profile (for all the wrong reasons) belongs to an Oxbridge-educated writer and proofreader who boasts of:

'Attention to detail that borders on fantacism.'

You couldn't make it up!

Hoppinggreen Wed 15-Jan-14 21:25:16

I would sooo have to interview the giraffe a phobe!!!

BlueHairedFreak Wed 15-Jan-14 21:31:20

Oh yes, to all of these. I had an application today from someone who had deleted chunks of a form because she didn't know how to insert a tick into a table in MS Word. She was applying for an admin position.
But my favourite is the person who applied for a qualified and professional role with their supporting statement of a Whitney Houston lyric.

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