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manager ruining dream job

(14 Posts)
GeraldineFangedVagine Sat 23-Nov-13 15:47:07

This may be confusing please bear with me! 5 months ago I started a secondment in a job which was a promotion from my own (up one band) and is my ideal job. I had a lovely manager and have really enjoyed it. Its been challenging as its involved setting up a new role.
Since I started the secondment my department has undergone a consultation. I now have a new line manager who has been demoted a band and a half and frankly, is an absolute nightmare. She has always been my superior but now I answer directly to her and work closely with her. Although I love the job I really cant see how I can work with her on a day to day basis.
Also im pregnant and she has harassed me in previous pregnancies and wants to discipline me for pregnancy sickness. She has said cruel things to me. My interview for the permanent job is in two weeks. Im going to decline the interview but what I really need advice on is should I tell the interviewers (who also demoted her) or should I just say the job isnt for me. I know I cant work with her and am happy to return to my old role but is it worth being honest and still being in the same department as her?
What would you do? Thanks in advance for reading my epic post!

GeraldineFangedVagine Sat 23-Nov-13 16:29:02

I should say when she was in her old post she wasnt really happy about my new post being created and has had to take her new role by default as she was not eligible for her old role and didnt get the role she wanted. We have completely opposing views on the new teams objectives.

CantThinkOfANC Sat 23-Nov-13 16:40:38

I have zero HR experience but I once quit a job (I was a student with about three part time jobs) because a colleague made my life a living hell. She had been there longer than me so I didn't think it was worth saying anything. It's the only job I've ever quit with nothing to go on to.

After I'd worked my last shift someone asked me why I was leaving and I told them - she insisted I should have told the manager rather than quit as I wasn't the first person to do so and the manager would have kept me rather than her.

So, based on that experience I would - why should one person get what they want and make your life worse when they are so miserable & awful?

GeraldineFangedVagine Sat 23-Nov-13 16:50:25

Thanks for replying and sorry you had a similar experience. I feel like that, why do I have to give up my job just because she was rubbish at hers? However its difficult to tell the truth, it will be really uncomfortable when she finds out. My dept is v big and I know all my colleagues will understand why im going backwards (shes pretty much universally disliked). But I still have the fear when I think of telling the department heads.

Kernowgal Sat 23-Nov-13 17:44:39

I'm another one who quit a job with nothing to go on to because of an awful, bullying boss. I have no regrets but then I had no ties and could easily find other work.

You do need to speak to the department heads, however, because I am sure that if she is universally disliked then they will be fully aware of her behaviour. Do you have any evidence of her behaviour, eg emails or messages? I would start keeping a diary of any harassment, with dates, times etc.

In my situation I had spoken with two managers about my boss, and they agreed that she was very difficult to work with. But their (frankly spineless) advice was to put up with it because she would probably leave soon. In the end I had simply had enough of them doing nothing despite her behaviour getting worse and worse, and I resigned. I have never regretted it. But had I had good, supportive managers, I would probably still be there.

GeraldineFangedVagine Sat 23-Nov-13 17:55:38

Thanks kernowgal. I think I will go back to my old job and make it to mat leave in april, then look for a new job. Ive been there six years but I thinks she has been around 10. Being basically forced out of her job hasnt made her want to leave so I cant think this will. I work with two others also on secondment, one is definitely not going for interview and the other leaning the same way, so im sure they will see its her. I have plenty of evidence of her attempting to discipline me for both pregnancy and miscarriage despite hr warning her not to.

GeraldineFangedVagine Sun 24-Nov-13 08:43:09

Also one last question; line manager is on leave this week, should I tell dept head why im not continuing the secondment now or wait and then decline the interview? (Line manager will be on panel so will find out then). Do I tell line manager at all? I feel sick worrying about this.

Kernowgal Sun 24-Nov-13 10:37:17

I would definitely tell your dept head your reasons for potentially declining the interview, and do it while she's away. Give them a chance to do something about it. If she's already on HR's radar then she is bloody stupid if she continues to behave this way. You never know, they may be trying to find a reason to finally get rid of her. Long service doesn't equal immunity from disciplinary action.

This sort of thing drives me mad - one person successfully wrecking an entire department, all because those above them seem to be sitting on their hands, scared to do anything about it. Meanwhile those working under the aggressor are all thinking of leaving. It's crazy. Good luck!

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 24-Nov-13 10:45:40

Keep it purely to those pregnancy discrimination issues & they have no option but to act, it is illegal & the company could face a legal showdown if they are not seen to comply with regulations. ( wether with you or someone else)

As said above you could be helping the firm get rid of her by giving them concrete evidence to use.

So stressful for you should be enjoying the secondment & your pregnancy.

Go for it & good luck.

GeraldineFangedVagine Sun 24-Nov-13 12:19:47

Thanks both of you for your support, cant stop doubting myself! I know telling the truth is the right thing to do, going to see if I can arrange a meeting with the dept head whilst she is away. Thanks for your input its really helped me make my mind up.

Privatebanker Mon 25-Nov-13 12:08:59

Do use the word "bullying", because that's what she's doing.

MissMarplesBloomers Tue 26-Nov-13 23:18:39

Good for you & yes mention bullying!

Let us know how it goes.

GeraldineFangedVagine Wed 27-Nov-13 09:38:24

My meeting is friday morning so I will let you know! Eek!

Putthatbookdown Wed 27-Nov-13 10:26:10

Is it having an impact on your health?

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