Pregnant and can't cope at work, what to do

[amylou90]

Hi

I'm new to all this but after reading other posts felt I should sign up and share.
I'm 25 weeks pregnant now and for the past 3 months have taken on the workload of my boss that left. There have been several redundancies and I'm now managing 3 people without any training. One person is extremely difficult to manage, very disrespectful and mouthy and another is constantly stepping on my toes only out of helpfulness. My manager isn't really around a lot so I feel totally alone, unsupported and very very stressed.
I'm crying just about everyday. My new role is "acting" though I get a monthly bonus. It was up for review end of Nov but now they've said I'll do it til I leave for maternity then I'll go back to my old salary while I'm off. I think this is unfair, I wanted a decision, I'm taking on a lot and learning new stuff only to not get a real answer.
Today I learnt I can't use my holiday when I get back as I wish. I'd wanted 1 day a week off to help with childcare but I'm not allowed to use it to reduce my working week. I just cried when I heard. I find it harsh that I can't use my holiday how I like. It's either that or take 4 solid weeks off in a three month period.
I just don't feel like I can cope with much more and wonder if the doctor might sign me off with stress? I've had several run ins with the difficult staff member and can't seem to handle anything remotely stressful anymore. It gets to the point I start feeling sick when I get upset/angry, right in my tummy.
That coupled with parking wars with my neighbours is just about sending me over the edge.
Hope someone is still reading and listening to me moan. Appreciate any advice/sympathy because I don't feel like anyone really understands me right now or gives me a break.
:(

[StarsAboveYou]

Sorry no advice but hopefully someone will be along soon.

[amylou90]

Thanks, I'm currently sat in the loo sobbing so I don't wake my boyfriend. Feel like I'm going mad.

[Pylon]

Sounds like there are a number of things to address and it may help to break them down into component parts.
Difficult to assess the monthly bonus situation, if it's genuinely a 'bonus' then that's probably at the discretion of the business, if it's a 'acting up allowance', you will have been doing it for a reasonable period and you will be continuing in the role after return from maternity then there may be something to escalate/argue.
Do you want to continue in the bigger role? If so then I'd suggest you ask for some training and support, particularly in the HR side when you have a difficult team member. Is there separate HR support you can get?
In terms of your holiday, who has said no and have they explained why?
Re neighbours, completely understand why that could tip you over, any way that can be resolved amicably?
It does sound like you have an awful lot on your plate. Most important is to focus on you and your baby

[oscarwilde]

Are you a doctor? No? Then non-one will die if you don't manage.
Focus on you and your child. Everything else you can care about is just a bonus. Trust me, once you go on mat leave you won't care that much

[breatheslowly]

If it is making you this stressed, then I think you should see your GP and ask about getting signed off for a bit. Choose the GP you see carefully. My lovely GP signed me off from 29 weeks because she thought that my work was stressful and was impacting on my health. She said "you're only going to have this baby once - that needs to be your focus" Only you will know whether being signed off would make things better or worse or make them feel better or worse.

I can't advise on the bonus stuff, but there seem to be plenty of MNetters who can.

How will they be covering your role while you are off? Could they bring that plan forwards to put someone extra in to support your team now?

[amylou90]

Thanks everyone. I'm getting an acting up allowance. I do want the role and had thought I'd be getting a decision on whether I was doing it permanently but now it seems they won't make a decision until I come back. So while I'm off I won't get that extra money. We have recently lost 6 members of our team and so it's left us all in a difficult position in regards to cover. This is making everyone stressed and snappy which obviously makes it harder for me. I've been doing the job for 3 months and will have done it for 6 by the time I leave. In that time I have to hand over to someone else and potentially hire cover for her.
It's in our maternity policy that you can't use holiday to reduce your working week but I'll have 20 days to take in 3 months so taking 4 full weeks doesn't seem
very fair on the team to me, at least if it was one day a week they would know where they stand.
I'm just worried now if I get signed off with stress my boss won't want to give the job to me. Maybe I'm better off not doing it but did want to progress and get more money. I'm sure it's just the pregnancy and the time frame that's stressing me.
As for the neighbours, trying to get right of way legally so we can park on our land, I just let that get to me last night. My Mum isn't available for my ante natal classes and neither is my boyfriend so everything happened at once yesterday.

[amylou90]

Oh and they also haven't decided who is covering me yet, they're leaving it to me and my colleague to come up with ideas! I thought well if you'd replaced people when they left we wouldn't be in this situation!

[Redcliff]

Hi
I so feel for you - I have one of those staff members as well and it is really horrible. The pay thing doesn’t sound right - I am pretty sure your mat pay is based on your recent salary. I found this below on working mums (see link for whole thing below) Good luck.


As a rule of thumb, the earnings taken into account for monthly paid employees are those set out on the last two payslips before the Qualifying Week (which is the 15th week before your Expected Week of Confinement / Childbirth)

www.workingmums.co.uk/advice-and-support/all/page_2/829438/calculating-maternity-leave-if-your-pay-rises-ask-the-expert.thtml