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Have HR Director visiting tomorrow (at home) - should I have someone here?

(25 Posts)
Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 12:58:50

I did ask for a colleague to be here but her secretary said no need as was just informal chat.

Is about racism and bullying and a whole bloody mess.

Part of me thinks they are just trying to keep it as informal as possible and half of me think I shouldn't trust them as far as I can bloody well throw them and to have a witness here.


DIddled Thu 26-Sep-13 13:01:54

Absolutely you need a person taking notes- no matter what they say. It's not an admission of anything. And why at your house- I wouldn't be keen on that either.

TheGerontocracy Thu 26-Sep-13 13:02:50

Yes, you absolutely need someone there to be a witness to the conversation and to take notes.

No such thing as an 'informal chat' with the HR Director, and it's wrong of them to suggest that there is!

DIddled Thu 26-Sep-13 13:09:10

Make Sure you phone and tell them you WILL be having a third party there- firm and polite get this matter on a firm and formal footing from the outset. Bullying and racism are serious discliplinary matters and nothing to do with them should be on an 'informal basis' . And any HR d would be fine with this.

flowery Thu 26-Sep-13 13:10:00

Of course there is such thing as an informal chat with the HR Director.

However a discussion about racism and bullying is unlikely to be an informal chat.

OP when you say it's "about" racism and bullying, what exactly is the purpose of the visit?

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 13:39:02

Long story.

I complained about being victimised and some racism which was investigated and swept under the carpet.

Was moved to different office as am pregnant and stressed and the lady who did the investigation started bullying me.

After only being referred to as she by her and at 7 months pregnant being told to get on a table and clean the top of a filing cabinet I refused to go back.

Complained to Chief Exec of Trust and he wants to know more and offered HR Director to come here so i do not have to go there.

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 13:39:38

Have had 2 threads about this but on phone so not sure how to link!

ChestyNut Thu 26-Sep-13 17:37:27

Absolutely you should have someone else there, I would wait until my union rep was free as no such thing as an informal chat with HR.

Let them know you will have someone there.

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 18:23:42

I'm not part of a Union at all. I have a police officer friend who has said she happy to sit in though?

BlackMogul Thu 26-Sep-13 18:58:48

Not sure whether a police officer is the best choice as she is not a union rep or HR person who has experience of work related issues. I would postpone meeting and get it in writing what the objectives of the meeting are. I would definitely be represented but try and find someone with HR experience if you can. If not your friend would be ok. It is ok to have the meeting at home and this is not so unusual if an employee feels uncomfortable coming into work. At least you are on your own territory! It may be, if course, that the visit is a genuine attempt to sort out the problems.

expatinscotland Thu 26-Sep-13 19:12:10

I'd get your police officer friend over.

flowery Thu 26-Sep-13 19:37:57

They are very unlikely to let a random police officer accompany you.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 26-Sep-13 19:40:24

If the meeting is in your hoe I think you can have whoever you want there.

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 20:35:36

She is here as a friend. I just think the fact that she a police officer means she knows about race laws and may come in handy for me.

The two people I know who knows the HR director say she is really nice and a good listener. The CEO suggested she come to my home to save me stress of going into work and to be honest I feel safer here.

I think they worried that I would take this to an external body which I wouldn't if they actually deal with it appropriately. I feel attacked and made to feel like I am in the wrong.

I wasn't going to make the racism a huge issue, I had told her it was racism and unacceptable and was happy to leave it at that unless she did it again. Then she actually put in a complaint about me saying she was a racist and went on to explain why using the word pa*i wasn't racism!! She actually ganged up with another woman who has bullied me over the last year, screaming in my face, being rude about my family, refusing to let me open the window in the office as she 'thin' and feels the cold more than anyone else and has a sensitive sense if smell so also door not allowed to be open.

The first reaction of my manager to me was 'racism is a very serious allegation' (IMO not an allegation but a fact considering her email) and that it was all a misunderstanding and miscommunication. From the start they wanted this to go away and not deal with it at all.

Now I know why they have such issues within the nhs!!

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 20:36:36

I want this over ASAP. Am 33 weeks and this has made me ill so don't want to postpone really.

flowery Thu 26-Sep-13 20:47:00

Have you actually raised a grievance? Just trying to understand the context of the meeting, what it's actually for.

InTheRedCorner Thu 26-Sep-13 20:55:40

I remember your previous threads, can't believe this is still going on with no outcome!

The meeting outside of work is a positive thing albeit a bit bloody late.

You could just meet with the director, tell her your side and let her deal with it.

It doesn't sound like a formal meeting, which would need notes etc, have you made a formal grievence to the Chief exec or just emailed/spoke to him about everything you feel you are being put through?

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 20:59:01

Yes, formal complaint and investigation all done.

Said I got no case as racism not meant to offend me!!

Bullying wasn't even looked into just said no case as a respect issue and she needed to respect my privacy???

I then was moved to the office where last who carried out investigation sat. She was horrendous. Only called me she, slagged me off to a temp continuously ordered me to do washing up and get on tables to clean on top of cupboards. So can I count on the out one of the investigation being unbiased?? Obvious she has issue with me so I don't think so and she friends with racist lady!!

Madamecastafiore Thu 26-Sep-13 21:03:52

I just emailed him.

I was going to wait to start of mat leave and then write to him but the new office and being bullied all over again brought it all back. I just couldn't go in so it sort of all escalated.

Hegsy Fri 27-Sep-13 15:12:37

Hope the meeting went well today thanks

Madamecastafiore Fri 27-Sep-13 17:22:22

Thank you Hegsy.

The HE Director was lovely.

She really made me feel at ease and had not spoken to anyone about what has happened.

She was shocked that they had left me hanging with regards to not knowing what is happening at present and was shocked at the racism.

She is going to look into everything that has gone on and see if there is a case for the first investigation being redone due to bias and whether there needs to be a second investigation but there should be one in terms of the investigator bullying me.

She also agreed that I should have been suspended medically rather than signed off sick previously and is going to look into that too!

She is going to make sure I am updated each week too.

It was a very good meeting all in all.

Now I feel like I have been drained though. All of the anticipation and stress gone!!

InTheRedCorner Fri 27-Sep-13 20:05:22

Great to read you are finally getting some support thanks

CoconutSponge Fri 27-Sep-13 20:39:21

MC !! thanks wine

Hope you and Baby are OK, please keep looking after yourself, they should be ashamed of themselves angry

However, I am very pleased to hear this bit especially:

She also agreed that I should have been suspended medically rather than signed off sick previously and is going to look into that too!

Racism is a criminal offence - the intention is irrelevant, if you are offended then it is an open and shut case of: they are guilty, end of.

What did your Police Person friend say??

Madamecastafiore Fri 27-Sep-13 21:09:06

Police friend didn't come in the end.

I have received an email saying they looking into original issues again and are investigating the lady who bullied me when I moved.

Agree to pay me in full for all the time I have had off as special leave too.

HR Director happens to be head of diversity too and asked about the team racist lady looks after and their ethnicities. I said all white British and with her beliefs I didn't expect this to change.

I do feel so much better. It being taken seriously it seems, although I suppose we will have to wait for the outcome to see if it really is!

Thank you for all your support and I expect to be PM'd to send you wine. grin

DIddled Fri 27-Sep-13 21:23:04

Good on you! You should be proud to have made a stand!

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