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What now - bullied again!!

(14 Posts)
Madamecastafiore Mon 09-Sep-13 14:15:49

I have had a hard time at work recently and due to being pregnant and some issues with racism and bullying was moved to a different office.

At this office I am expected to work with the woman who did the investigation into the bullying and racism. I am there to avoid me being under any stress as am now 30 weeks pregnant and they were worried about premature labour or low birth weight (this was occupational health). Anyway over the past few weeks whilst I have been at this office it has been brought to my attention that this woman is slagging me off to a temporary member of staff. Her tone with me is appalling and I am constantly scrutinised and picked at. I am not allowed to speak without her asking if I have enough work...................... it goes on and on.

Anyway the temp (who is lovely by the way) got very upset with the way this woman is treating me and reported it to one of our management team and I was called in and asked to put together a statement.

I wrote something up but until today had not handed it in. Well today I had a bit of a melt down on the way to work. I got half way there after dropping DS off and had to pull over to the side of the road and couldn't stop crying. So I phoned the lovely temp and asked her to tell the other lady that I would not be in today, which she did. I then came home and got myself together and emailed my statement to the senior manager and another manager who has been looking out for me.

I am not sure where I can go from here. I do not feel able to return to work and am due to start maternity leave next week. Would it be easier just to start my maternity leave now or should I get them to address the issue before I go on maternity leave. They are super crap at stuff like this but I feel like I have been sent somewhere for my protection and have ended up back in the lion's den.

Sorry that is very long and perhaps a bit too garbled to get anything out of it???

ivykaty44 Mon 09-Sep-13 14:19:23

I would go and see your gp and get signed off work so that you don't have to go back and face this now.

Hope you are getting support at home.

Madamecastafiore Mon 09-Sep-13 14:23:39

Think that may have to be the way forward - won't they force me to take my maternity leave now though if I get signed off?

I am actually not starting mat leave until Sept 30th, have holiday to take before then.

DH is being nice about it all - think he would prefer me to leave and be at home and both of us be safe rather than put up with what I am at work.

LoopyLoopyLoopy Mon 09-Sep-13 14:25:17

Only if it's a pregnancy related illness. This isn't, it should be fine I think

CaptainSweatPants Mon 09-Sep-13 14:26:55

Will you have to go back after ML?

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 09-Sep-13 14:28:47

Not sure if it will be the same for you OP but I was signed off from 30 weeks with work related stress but my mat leave started as planned at 36 weeks

Madamecastafiore Mon 09-Sep-13 14:32:37

I'll pop to the doctor tomorrow then. I'll only get ssp but I can't face the rudeness and abuse.

Other than not sleeping and spending a huge amount of time sobbing the stress gives me horrendous diarrhoea which is pretty awful and leaves me wiped out as can't keep much down and have constant reflux!

mrspaddy Mon 09-Sep-13 14:33:29

Totally appalling...
I'd talk to gp... You don't need this at all.
However, I would be concerned that you won't not enjoy your maternity if you have to face all this on you return.

Is it a big company that would enable you to transfer?? Look after yourself.

Fairydogmother Mon 09-Sep-13 14:34:43

Hi there sorry you're having these issues. I'm in exactly the boat! The scary thing is the stuff you've mentioned is nearly exactly what has happened to me - my manager picks over every single thing and belittles me constantly.

I'm 32 weeks and we've been off since mid July with a bullying line manger who nobody will tackle. My sick lines say stress at work and they cannot force me onto early mat leave as its not a pregnancy related condition.

The earliest they could put me off if it was pregnancy related is 36 weeks.

My midwife, Gp and endocrinologist all say that stress can affect the baby never mind your own mental health and all have supported me being off.

Do what you need to protect your own health and that of your child - sod work!

Feel free pm me if you like - support each other! I'm also intermittently on the November thread if you haven't looked at that.

Madamecastafiore Mon 09-Sep-13 14:36:10

It's the NHS - have been transferred already after making a complaint about racism but the woman who did the investigation is now bullying me where I was transferred to. It's sad as I am there because of the amount of stress I was under and the effect it could have on my pregnancy she knows this but obviously doesn't care.

Madamecastafiore Mon 09-Sep-13 14:40:06

Thanks fairydogmother - I was going to start maternity leave early anyway to get away from it all - it is just the next 7 days that I would have to work for as am then taking some holiday before my mat leave.

Not sure if I was signed off how this would all work out.

It's shit isn't it.

The woman who is bullying me is well known for it - just nothing is ever done. She's only a bloody Band 5 FGS but thinks she is some kind of super manager. She is mean hearted and has nothing in her life at all other than her job and rather than being positive about it and being nice and fun and kind she is the opposite!

Fairydogmother Mon 09-Sep-13 14:57:16

I'm a civil servant too - they aren't so good at sticking to their own bullying rules are they!

You don't need to start your maternity leave massively early just to get away - if it you need to be off sick then do it. But whatever works best for you.

My manager also has form for bullying and I've just found out that another girl who started 2 weeks ago is now getting it! Ridiculous these people.

Wishfulmakeupping Tue 10-Sep-13 19:18:07

I work for the nhs so the same rules should apply re: mat leave not starting until planned date

Madamecastafiore Tue 10-Sep-13 20:14:59

Thanks chaps.

I have not been told as to whether I am now signed off sick or what is happening.

I have director of hr for the trust coming to visit me at home though as I emailed the exec director yesterday and told him everything that had happened.

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