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Upset by comments made to me by member of staff in my office. Bad or am I being a bit sensitive?

(28 Posts)
peedoffbird Fri 19-Jul-13 18:07:50

There is a man in my office who I find very difficult to get on with. He has a large ego and jokes around a lot but sometimes it's just not funny.

In the past he has made some comments about the way I look which I have just laughed off. He also thinks it's funny to talk about the female members of staff as a load of old middle aged women.

At the beginning of this week, he started to laugh and showed me a page in a booklet that had a photo of me in it. This was done publicly with other people listening. He made a comment somewhere along the lines of "God the years haven't been kind to you have they". Again I laughed it off as I was so mortified but felt upset by it.

Then today, he was sat on some chairs in the office and there was only a small gap inbetween the chairs to get through. I walked through once and he didn't move his legs so I just edged past him. The second time, I asked him to move his legs so that I could squeeze through. His reply to me (again publicly) was that it wasn't his fault the chairs were so close together and then he said in a very sarcastic way, "it's not like you dont' need the exercise anyway". I felt sick and the man next to him looked a bit horrified too. I walked away and went off to have a bit of moment in the loo.

I decided to talk to my boss about it who said that he would have a word with this person. At the end of the day, my boss told me that he had spoken to him and that the man would come and talk to me. When he came back into the office he totally ignored me and made no attempt to talk to me or apologise. He then left the office.

If he had apologised and meant it, I would have chalked it down to experience. As he chose to ignore my boss and me afterwards I am now very upset about it all and have since emailed my boss.

I feel bad enough about myself and my weight as it is and I am so angry. I am only a size 16 so not as though I am massive. I feel about 1cm tall.

So was I being over sensitive or not? Thanks everyone.

KenDoddsDadsDog Sun 21-Jul-13 07:27:30

Read this - the verbal harassment and offensive pranks is exactly what he is doing. Should give you more context for your boss.

Roshbegosh Sun 21-Jul-13 07:50:25

I wouldn't get into a slanging match as he will take it to a nastier level and you will be crying in the toilets. I would say in front of a couple of witnesses "I find your comments rude, unnecessary and unprofessional, i think you are a ghastly little man and I will take this further if you don't stop" He may try to alienate you and make the bullying more behind your back so either way you need to be thick skinned. You have to stand up to him though or it will continue and may get worse as he realises what he can get away with. Stand tall, take a breath and keep it slow and calm. Don't attempt it if premenstrual or you might lose it and he will enjoy that. Good luck.
With some men I just think what he'll it must be for their wives, he is an idiot whose development was arrested in toddlerhood. And a cunt.

Crinkle77 Wed 24-Jul-13 15:32:34

You could say something like 'well I can always lose weight but you will always be a cock'

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