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Dilema over pos work promotion, do i stay and see my babies more or go for it and see so much less of them ?

(15 Posts)
fakeblondie Fri 24-May-13 12:34:23

An opportunity has come up for me to apply for a big promotion at work.
3 managers have approached me and strongly advised me to go for it.
It will be a hard interview with a presentation as I will spend literally 3 weeks preparing if I go for it night and day.
Presently I love my job, hate the politics as many do but love it none the less.
I work 18.5 hrs, have a great nanny and a enough money to have a great time with my dc`s. I manage the school run most days , the coffee mornings at school have a great social life and although often exhausted and grumpy I love being a mum more than anything .
My dc`s are 20 17 9 and 3 .
I know I will never have this time with my beautiful baby again and feel so lucky that I can afford to only work part time.
However this job opp is unlikely to pass my way again in such a favourable way.
If I get it it will be full time 9-5 mon to fri no flexibility.
It will realistically be 7-7.
Paying my nanny and the increased travelling will leave me financially worse off (initially ) than I am now, and I`ll be fairly absent as a mummy - ill be gone every day.
In 2 years when I wont need a full time nanny my salary will be very good - enough to buy lovely new house and give kids more.
However I`ll have missed out on these very very special years with my dd and my ds needs me more now too.
I was brought up by a nanny as mother was a manager and I always swore id never be drawn into it, because I didn't want the excessive pocket money and gifts I wanted time with my mum. She never did and still doesn't get that.
I think I`m answering my own question here so sorry about the waffle but mumsnet is so blissfully honest and helpful in so many ways .

Do I stay as I am and be a lot worse off financially in 2 years or go for it and become the manager I always said I wouldn't be ?

goodgrief54 Fri 24-May-13 20:45:23

You have indeed answered your own question - you know what you want to do. if you can afford to be part time then stay so and just be very flattered that the managers want you to apply. Dont second guess what jobs will be available in 2 years as this job may be vacant again by then or you may have won the lottery and no longer need to work! wink

paddingtonbear1 Fri 24-May-13 22:33:08

To be honest, if you can afford to stay part time, I'd stick with that. Going from 18.5 hours to full time is a huge jump. I recently got a small promotion at work, and I had to think seriously about it - I nearly didn't apply as it would mean 1 extra day in after school care for dd. I already worked 4 days a week but with 1 from home - I had to lose the home working in order to get the promotion. If it meant going to full time as well, I wouldn't have done it. Once you've lost part time working, it's hard to get it back.

sandiy Sun 26-May-13 14:10:30

I m afraid I'm going to argue to go for it.You never know what's around the corner financial security is peace of mind Husbands leave lose jobs or even die so being able to support your family is vital I wish someone had told me this when I had opportunities that I turned down.

Metalgoddess Sun 26-May-13 14:29:17

No definitely don't do it! You clearly don't want to and are in a lucky position working part time. Luxury is time to spend with children not more money or job status. Stay as you are, you might struggle to get another decent part time job. X

MrsMargoLeadbetter Sun 26-May-13 17:41:46

I am going to go against the grain too...

I wonder if it is worth going for it, so you know what the options are. At the moment is it is 'what might be'. You don't know how flex they are prepared to be for right candidate?

If you are at all the sort of person that will look back and feel regret at not knowing if you would have got it, then I think you need to go for it.

My main concern about not going for it would be the message you are sending your company, but they know you have a family and hopefully it won't affect you negatively.

Good luck with your decision!

Numberlock Sun 26-May-13 17:46:00

Go for the interview and decide what to do if you get offered the job.

Personally I'd take it.

Do you have a partner? (Sorry if I've missed that bit.)

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Sun 26-May-13 17:47:29

Stay as you are, it sounds perfect. Really nice to have been approached though, but I would take it as a nice confidence boost and leave it at that.

If you were to look back on your life when you are 70, would you be pleased that you went for an all consuming job or had a great balance of a good job and time with your children?

Slainte Sun 26-May-13 18:08:18

I'm just waiting for Xenia to come on to this thread.

Slainte Sun 26-May-13 19:50:33


goodgrief54 Mon 27-May-13 08:20:37

Just a slight word of caution. If you go for it and then turn it down this may annoy your company and may be used against you in future. I have seen that in my role where someone offered a job, refused it and senior manager v unhappy at having their time wasted.. make your decision now and make it the one from your heart. and dont forget nobody ever spent their last moments saying oh i wish i had worked more... !

tungthai Mon 27-May-13 20:40:50

Sometimes full time work is the right thing to do. I don't think so in your case, you are happy and its working why risk that?

JugglingChaotically Sat 08-Jun-13 08:01:56

One other point - are you sure you won't need a full time nanny in 2 years time?
I thought the same but DH does drop off normally but sometimes travels with work, and school hols, inset days and sickness are v diff. And our nanny means DD aged 5 can have breakfast and supper at home, invite children for play dates etc. I am out 7 to 7 too. I took the 5 day role then negotiated compressed working which helps.
Good luck

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 08-Jun-13 10:57:37

I was faced with a similar choice when DD was just 18months old. I choose the big job and actually the first bit didn't detract from my time with DD as much as I feared. Now 7.5years later our life is much, much better than it would have been if I hadn't taken the risk. I figure that she will remember this bit much more than the early bit. The more money to do great stuff is really worth it now. I am a lone parent and we have great adventures now - we are going to Munich on the train to the Christmas markets later this year.
However, only you truly know what is right for you.

Bigwuss Sat 08-Jun-13 11:57:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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