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Help! Disciplinary meeting tomorrow and anomaly scan

(49 Posts)
Barahmen Thu 23-May-13 13:47:55

I've namechanged as I'm thoroughly ashamed. I'm asking for genuine help to deal with my situation.

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant. The company I work for don't have a HR department due to cost cutting, so the GM is acting on their behalf.

I was suspended yesterday pending investigation for gross misconduct.
The investigation has nothing to do with my pregnancy.
My anomaly scan is due tomorrow on the day of the disciplinary meeting. I'm stressed as it is, I can't eat, I can't sleep.

What will happen if I don't attend this meeting? I really don't think I can.

Barahmen Thu 23-May-13 14:14:23


thekingfisher Thu 23-May-13 14:19:12

They should give you reasonable notice of the investigation meeting ( which is what this is) together with whatever evidence they have of your gross- misconduct.
As you have a pregnancy related ante-natal appt you need to ask them to re-arrange the meeting which is your right and suggest a date which would be appropriate.

When did you get notice of the meeting?

Pancakeflipper Thu 23-May-13 14:20:31

You have to contact the people organising the meeting and inform them that you cannot make it and why. They can reorganise it.

Poor you. Hope the scan goes well.

ExBrightonBell Thu 23-May-13 14:22:12

You do have a legal right for time off to attend antenatal appointments. I would tell your GM as soon as possible and get the disciplinary meeting rearranged. There is not really another option.

Barahmen Thu 23-May-13 14:36:36

Thank you all for your responses.

I received notice of this meeting only yesterday. I thought it was a legal requirement but due to the circumstances i thought those might be overwritten.

BriansBrain Thu 23-May-13 23:13:19

Can you go to the meeting and make it to the scan?

Did you advise the company that you have a scan booked when the appointment was made, provide them with a copy of your appointment card for your file?

Is an investigatory meeting, a fact finding meeting which you can ask to be rescheduled if appropriate.

OverAndAbove Fri 24-May-13 06:20:41

Had you informed them tat you needed time off a that time or your scan appointment? You should be able to ask for a deferral, but it might be tricky if you hadn't notified them already.

Hope the scan goes well!

aftermay Fri 24-May-13 06:27:04

Good luck with the scan. Ask for the meeting to be re-scheduled, perhaps so you have time to put your thoughts together and build your case or have time to ask fir advice or ask someone to come along (union rep etc). Gross misconduct or not, you have a right to be treated with respect. Godd luck.

flowery Fri 24-May-13 20:26:54

You should have immediately told them you couldn't make the meeting because of your scan and they would have rearranged. I'm sure they still will but don't leave it any longer.

flowery Fri 24-May-13 20:28:05

Just realised I'm way too late!

toomuch2young Fri 24-May-13 20:29:37

I hope today went as well as it could for you.
What a worrying time.

Roshbegosh Fri 24-May-13 20:31:12

hope the scan was ok
Gross misconduct means normal rules don't apply doesn't it? Hope the OP follows up.

Queenofknickers Fri 24-May-13 20:36:14

That doesn't sound right to me - if what is alleged against you is serious enough to be gross misconduct then I am doubtful it can be reasonably and properly investigated in one day! Did they hold the meeting?

BriansBrain Fri 24-May-13 21:01:33

Queen it would be the first of two meetings, this one being an investigatory/fact finding meeting and then an outcome meeting on a different day (I think it may be within 5 days but could be wrong)

How did it go Barah?

Barahmen Fri 24-May-13 21:51:37

I didn't go. I rescheduled. I didn't think it was fair of them to give me a days notice and the fact I told them that I was due to have the scan today. (I'd given notice of the scan 2 weeks before) they tried to tell me to come in when I rescheduled but I didn't have childcare at the time.

The meeting has been rescheduled for Wednesday.
It is highly likely I will be dismissed for gross misconduct. This means I won't receive smp. I'll have to claim benefit (though I don't know if I can after gross misconduct) sad
If there was any other choice!

I have worked for the company for 12 years.
There has been a change in management and a mass dismissal of staff atm.

BriansBrain Fri 24-May-13 22:11:31

Have they told you it's gross misconduct ie a paragraph in your invite letter advising you? Have you looked at your company handbooks?

Do you think or realise they are right or do you think you may be able to give enough evidence to prove other wise?

At least you now have time to prepare.

How did the scan go smile

Barahmen Fri 24-May-13 22:43:34

The scan went well thank you Brian

I received the letter today. I don't have enough evidence to prove otherwise.

I can only place blame. Which I shan't. I'll just have to face the music.

All is not lost though. A member of management (that is currently being threatened) has offered to find me a job. However as I'm visibly pregnant and I need to be on my feet for long hours for this type of work. I have more chance of winning the lottery.

aftermay Sat 25-May-13 10:15:16

I'm glad to hear your scan went well.

I'm sorry about the dismissal as I imagine you hadn't set out to make whatever colossal mistake it was.

Good luck on Wednesday. You don't have be noble and not blame a colleague if it was someone else's fault. Just do what you can and still live with yourself and keep your self-respect.

Good luck with the job hunting.

flowery Sat 25-May-13 16:28:56

You don't have to prove otherwise. Its all about balance of probability and reasonable actions by your employer.

And if there is blame to be placed that would save your job at a time when you really need it, then you should consider doing that.

BriansBrain Sat 25-May-13 21:19:17

The first meeting is there for you to provide facts on events that may be a factor into why you are being investigated, try not to see it as blame or needing to provide complete evidence.

Examples of situations for them to investigate would work better, don't see it as blame, it's not personal.

NomDeClavier Sat 25-May-13 21:27:56

Are you in a union? You need to get them involved if you are.

If you're not then I'd co sider talking to a lawyer and at least take a friend with you to the meeting.

Barahmen Sun 26-May-13 15:15:30

It really is fine. I would have had to become a sahm anyway as the cost of childcare would far out weigh my wages. Plus the hours I work are anti social. Dh works ridiculous hours with only 1 day a week off.

I've been offered work at my friends business (she is the owner) But it would be difficult.
The plan was to retrain all along.

Just wondering how it will affect in the long term.

NomDeClavier Sun 26-May-13 17:00:31

That is what a union can help you negotiate. Or you can go in prepared to bargain about with someone to support you.

Dismissal for gross misconduct will stay on your record. It'll be difficult to get a reference from your previous company and if you wanted to retrain in anything like law, teaching, nursing/midwifery/medicine then it won't look good, depending of course on what the details of it are (which you absolutely shouldn't share on here).

Hawkmoth Sun 26-May-13 17:20:29

Agree you should try for a compromise. And if anyone can help you out with a few more weeks work so you qualify for maternity allowance that's an option to look at. It works out at not much less than SMP.

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