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How to manage my awful manager

(4 Posts)
Firefox Thu 02-May-13 21:27:19

who also seems to have taken a dislike to me...

He is dis-organised and will constantly change priorities. He never gives praise or is positive, and will focus on the negatives and blow things out of all proportion. He gets into terrible moods, shouting and swearing in the office. He sets unrealistic deadlines, and when I explain the valid reasons why they can't be met or the potential risks, he does not want to listen - instead focusing on delivering things as fast as possible. If mistakes are made, or something is not delivered fully, he refuses to take any responsibility for them. In meetings he takes any opportunity to run me down and destroy my credibility. If I highlight that something is complicated, he won't believe me and immediately hands over that project to someone else. I also feel that he singles me out.

I think part of the problem is that I am not confrontational, and because don't believe the way to handle situations is to blame or bitch about people in my department (which is his preferred method).

Another problem is that he is very focused on presentee-ism in the office. When I joined I made it very clear that I would be leaving at 5pm so I would be able to collect my dc, but that I would be happy to come in at 8am (effectively doing 1 hour extra), and that at busy times I would work later if required provided that I was given notice - or I could work from home later in the evening if needed. This was no problem with my previous manager, but since he has taken over the manager role he now expects me to put in more hours than him - and any other member of the team. He won't allow working from home either, and also has tried on a couple of occasions to insist that I do extra hours as standard - he even took it as far with HR about the hours.

Part of me really wants to leave the company, but I enjoy the work that I do, it is good experience and I do get on with all the rest of my team and department. However his unreasonable and petty behavior is making me doubt my abilities. I have never had this problem before and my previous 360 reviews have all been positive. How can I handle this?

Piffpaffpoff Thu 02-May-13 22:57:03

Honestly? Move. He's not going to change and you need to go before it starts affecting you professionally and personally. It's just not worth the stress.

I say this as someone who was in a similar situation, my colleagues and I tried every 'strategy' going to handle it, to make the boss change, to change our reaction to them, go to HR - nothing made any difference.

I'm sorry if this sounds negative or defeatist but my advice to anyone in this situation now is to get out ASAP.

hugoagogo Fri 03-May-13 20:22:51

This sounds like dh's boss-he has an interview next week

sarahthesolicitor Fri 03-May-13 20:38:49

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

He won't change so you need to find ways of working with him. Either that, or find another job. I actually recommend the latter!

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