Am I Being Bullied At Work? (sorry, long!)(31 Posts)
I?m 43 and started a new job three months ago. It is in a similar line of work to my previous job with most of my qualifications, skills and experience being transferrable. It is a step down in terms of position but better money, benefits etc.
I have never been bullied at work and am loathe to even think that I am now. I am a strong person, have been a manager/team leader in previous positions and have always maintained good relationships with my own staff and colleagues.
So I came into this new position with high hopes. I was initially shocked at the lack of training and guidance (which is still ongoing three months on), kind of learn as I go situation and it has taken me quite a while to get up to speed. Not for the lack of trying. I ask questions, try to take initiative, work hard and don?t clock watch. I still have a lot to learn but every day I am more confident.
My manager is pleased with my progress and has no issues with me at all.
It is a small team and all are lovely apart from one woman who is a little younger than me and has been there about 10 months or so. From the beginning she has been very negative about the company and the other staff. She told me not to trust anyone and to watch out for bitching. It was not what I was expecting to hear and IMO inappropriate to say such things to a new starter. Anyway I took little notice and got on with things.
So this woman has been bitching about me to a couple of my colleagues:
-I don?t know what I?m doing.
-She is having to do my work for me.
-Complained to my supervisor that I did something wrong. (I didn?t)
-Says as I was a manager in my previous job, I should know what I am doing.
-Complains that she is doing everything and I do nothing.
She has set me up with duff info, sent me on a wild goose chases and made me look like a numpty in front of my manager.
She offers to help me with my work then complains to the others about it. Asks me to do something then later tells me that I didn?t need to do it or that I have done it wrong. Has even made personal comments about my hair!
Undermines and lectures me about the smallest things. Really it is ridiculous.
All of this takes place out of the ear shot of our manager. To him she puts on a very girly, twee, helpful front. It's sickening to watch.
I complained to my manager a few weeks ago and he told her to shape up. She turned on the water works and claimed family problems. Classic.
So it is still ongoing, I don?t work with her every day ? probably three times a week but on those days I dread going to work. I feel sick and don't sleep well.
I have started to keep a diary and plan to speak to my manager at the next opportunity, he is a nice man but incredibly busy, he will listen but seems ineffectual at dealing with this woman. She is known for her bitchy ways but gets away with it.
I am not in UK (but am in Europe) so do not have the option of a TU, ACAS or any kind of HR support. I am a foreigner here, as are most of my colleagues apart from her.
Is this a mild form of bullying or am going mad?
Yes I said this to a colleague, better to work more and be without her...
Just to update, today was very good. Will see what tomorrow brings; our manager is off!
Let us know how things get on Snooky
I bet a certain colleague will be looking for a new job quickly . . .
Well so far so good. Nothing directed at me and she is on best behaviour. Apparently she has been told that another complaint and she will be out. It would not surprised me if she left soon. The job market where I live is very tough though.
She has been sniping about another colleagues so she has just transferred to someone else. This colleague doesn't take any of her shit. Time will tell.....
Glad to read you are feeling better about it all, she sounds nasty!
Indeed Brian she is. The whole mood in the office is lifted when she is not there.
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