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Time to move on? Advice please

(13 Posts)
Chaoscarriesonagain Mon 18-Mar-13 19:25:12

Been with current employer 4 years. For the last year I've been seconded to my dream job (for 3 year)

I loved it, worked exceedingly hard to get it. In the last 4 months things have been far from good; both work and personal. Work turned on its head and my boss offers no support and keeps letting me down.

For example, we have a working from home policy, but no one bar her can use it without hassle. As my role falls under her line management responsibility her salary increased- substantially. However she offers no support, spends no time with me and has let me down on several occasions. Today being one, one where I needed support over a bully at work. She asked that I eat humble pie...

I've reasoned that its all too much (split with dp 3pmths ago and lost home too, so back with family) and wanting to go back to substantive post.

I guess I just feel really sad and let down by the fact everything I knew has turned around.

Going back to substantive post is a setback . As a foresight, some weeks ago when I felt this way, I applied for another job and have an interview in a couple of weeks.

This is not a rash decision, am just sad, lonely and in need of some constants!

Thanks for reading !

BendyBusBuggy Mon 18-Mar-13 19:27:33

Is there anyone else at work you could talk to to resolve this? Do you have a dignity at work policy at your company?

Chaoscarriesonagain Mon 18-Mar-13 19:37:12

We do indeed have one.

I just feel like am so disillusioned , I see the inequality and that nothing changes!

I don't want to go back. Am I being dramatic?

BendyBusBuggy Mon 18-Mar-13 19:50:06

Well, you have a lot going on at the moment. I don't know the details but would probably try to talk to someone at your work who is in a position of responsibility nut not your boss. From their perspective they'd be losing a hard-working capable employee. From your perspective it can only add an option to leaving - who knows what they might come up with?

BendyBusBuggy Mon 18-Mar-13 19:50:29


Chaoscarriesonagain Mon 18-Mar-13 19:52:45

Thanks bendy. I don't know who I can talk to though; both involved are line manager and line managers line manager!

They only look out for themselves, sadly

Snazzynewyear Mon 18-Mar-13 19:55:24

Can you go to HR and ask to discuss it with them confidentially?

When is your next appraisal?

Having another interview is no bad thing - it shows HR and anyone else you choose to talk to that you are not just moaning for the sake of it, you are really disillusioned.

Snazzynewyear Mon 18-Mar-13 19:56:25

I would also discuss the bullying thing specifically with HR if your manager has not taken it seriously, btw.

Has she been your manager for the whole year but changed in the last 4 months, or was it someone else originally?

Chaoscarriesonagain Mon 18-Mar-13 21:39:03

I can discuss with hr but I feel it's academic as the two who can sort it are the two who will not support me

Had appraisal 2 weeks ago, it was brushed under carpet and my boss cut things short as 'she was busy'

She's been my manager for 1 year now ,

compoundinterest Mon 18-Mar-13 22:20:28

It doesn't matter what you say, she isn't going to change. If she cared about you as a member of staff she would be helping you with the bullying.

I would also think very carefully before you speak to anyone else, especially HR. HR's loyalty is to the boss/company, not you.

Sorry, I know it's harsh but I have seen so many people come unstuck when they've been in a similar situation. Sadly, you've either got to suck it up or move on. The powers that be don't like 'problem staff' however valid you feel your grievance is.

RoseWei Mon 18-Mar-13 22:30:53

Do you belong to a Union or professional association?

Is the job for which you're having an interview in the same organisation or not? I hope, if you want it, it works out for you.

Having an unsympathetic and unpleasant line manager is something many of us are sadly familiar with. At times in the past, I've cut my losses - at other times, I haven't been able to. With what's going on in your personal life, the last thing you want or need is distress at work. Think about who you could go to - I agree that HR isn't always to be trusted. However, their role includes helping you get on with your job without this level of upset - call their bluff and tell them you want a confidential appointment with a senior HR officer. If you can, take someone with you - back to the question about a Union or professional association.

Chaoscarriesonagain Tue 19-Mar-13 22:09:08

Not a member if union , no

The interview is a completely different organisation , and city. I suppose it would be a fresh start, so much get reading up and do my best!!!

Thank you for your reply, I think it is time to cut my losses...

flatmum Tue 19-Mar-13 22:13:51


i have been here and as others have said they will close ranks and protect themesleves. Cut your losses and move on, its not worth it.

i did and it was the best thing i ever did. good luck!

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