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Whats your opinion on managers hugging staff?

(17 Posts)
ellabella2013 Sun 03-Feb-13 11:04:52

Do you think its ok for managers to hug their staff? When a member of my staff are upset about personal problems and they come to speak to me I always ask them if they would like a hug. Do you think that's ok?

HecateWhoopass Sun 03-Feb-13 11:07:10

no. It's unprofessional, imo.

AuntieMaggie Sun 03-Feb-13 11:11:18

Depends on the relationship and to be fair you are asking first so yes I think its ok. It shows that you care.

fackinell Sun 03-Feb-13 11:13:01

We are big huggers at work. Not in general but birthdays, bad news or someone leaving. I don't find it unprofessional and it's good for morale. Each to their own, I guess.

Porkster Sun 03-Feb-13 11:14:04

No. Stick to hugging family and friends.

Cornycabernet Sun 03-Feb-13 11:15:07

depends on the relationship and the reason for it
asking first is a good idea I agree
when I told my manager about my dh having cancer she communicated only by phone/text regarding the appts I wanted to attend and time off and then didn't mention it again - that really upset me. A hug would have been nice TBH.

BookWormery Sun 03-Feb-13 11:15:55

Totally depends on your relationship and the culture in your team.

I've gone for a hug a couple of times and other times I've put my hand on theirs just to comfort them IYSWIM.

It would be v hard for me not to do anything when someone is upset (parent dying, relationship break up etc).

Just use your judgement. smile

Soopermum1 Sun 03-Feb-13 11:16:58

depends on if you're a naturally tactile person and your staff are used to this. if they're coming to you with emotional or personal issues sounds as though you're definitely sympathetic and gave helped in the past. carry on as you,re doing but remember you've got to ensure it doesn't interfere with work, but if it doesn't,t and your staff are happier and more productive with that style of management then it can't be a bad thing

VerySmallSqueak Sun 03-Feb-13 11:17:28

I would be horrified if my manager offered to hug me. Really embarrassed!

But I'm not a hugger.

And,since I imagine there may be some like me in your workplace, I would say it's not ok.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Sun 03-Feb-13 11:19:11

Definitely no hugging.

A sympathetic / reassuring / friendly touch of an elbow is as far as I would go / allow.

I had a tactile manager once, I absolutely hated it.

muminthecity Sun 03-Feb-13 11:20:28

When my grandad died recently I was worried about asking my manager for time off but she gave me a big hug and told me it was fine. She's not a big hugger in general but I really needed it that day and it meant a lot.

SweetTransvestite Sun 03-Feb-13 11:22:58

It depends on your relationship with staff. My team leader hugged me when I told her I was pregnant, if my manager had done that I would have thought it strange as we don't have that kind of relationship.

OrangeLily Sun 03-Feb-13 11:31:59

It depends on the relationship.

One of my three managers is huggy occasionally like for good news or bad. You can get an actual pat on the back, etc. This is all good, she's also female so I think Im more comfortable.

My other two are awkward males and certainly not the type to touch! That would freak me out. I think I would panic!!!!

flow4 Sun 03-Feb-13 13:58:45

I am a natural hugger and a manager. I do not generally hug at work - and very definitely and consciously avoid hugging the people I line manage. As well as the issues people already raised about personal boundaries and people perhaps not liking it, there is another problem: instinctively I would be inclined to hug people I like and not to hug those I don't like, and it is not acceptable to treat people within the team differently.

I do occasionally 'slip up' though, and hug colleagues I like, in the sorts of circumstances that I would hug my friends.

I also sometimes hug or kiss colleagues I like who work in different teams or organisations, and who are not 'junior'. Even that can lead to awkwardness sometimes - perceptions of 'special relationships' for instance. confused

welshmammy2009 Sun 03-Feb-13 15:31:44

I personally find managers hugging staff to be ok as long as the manager asks. I remember a few years ago when I was had a health problem. I didn't want to tell anyone at work about it including my manager.
I carried on as normal in work, asking my manager for time off for hospital appointments. She would always ask me if I was ok when I was booking the time off but I just didn't want to tell her and would just say I was fine.
After one of my hospital appointments one day, I returned to work not in the best of moods and not been able to concentrate. I was so scared about telling my manager about how I was feeling because she always came across as the unsympathetic type. When I finally opened up to her it was such a relief for me and her as she could see I was going through a rough time. She gave me a hug which I really needed that day and it meant alot to me it showed she cared about me as a person.

NorthernLurker Sun 03-Feb-13 15:37:59

If somebody is very upset I've gone for an arm on the shoulder reassuring squeeze type thing. I don't think that's unprofessional at all. People can move away if they wish - thought they never have - and it shows them I care - because I do actually.

Bigwuss Mon 04-Feb-13 18:35:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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