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How to handle a competitive younger colleague

(32 Posts)
Levantine Thu 31-Jan-13 22:48:44

I have been nothing but encouraging and supportive to my maternity leave cover, and because in part of my praise of her (my manager was unsure at first) she is now a permanent member of staff. I feel like I have created a monster.

It's hard to talk about without sounding petty, but today she emailed a plan for a presentation that I had designed absolutely (imo) making it look like her work - not cc-ing me in but making me a recipient hmm

I am a mug. I am open about what I am working on, always always credit people's ideas. I just don't know how to handle her and I feel really upset.

So, how can I make it clear to those to whom it matters that it is MY work without lookig petty. And how can I get tougher in future?

PurplePidjin Sat 09-Feb-13 04:54:43

get fit and slim, and try looking as young as possible

How enormously sexist hmm Dress smartly and professionally, yes, but fit and slim? That's got fuck all to do with ability

Chottie Sat 09-Feb-13 05:10:54

purple I hear what you say, but I do understand where OP is coming from. I have to compete on all levels too...... shock and have no chinks in my armour.....

PurplePidjin Sat 09-Feb-13 05:23:24

I was replying to Tasmania's suggestion that slim, fit women get ahead in the workplace because they're colleagues get jealous and the male boss, because the boss is always a man, fancies them confused

PurplePidjin Sat 09-Feb-13 05:24:12

*their blush

emess Sat 09-Feb-13 10:23:07

Sadly, the slim/fit/pretty thing is probably true. I'm quite sure my super-boss fancies my younger colleague. They are both gym addicts, love skiing, etc. He's old enough to be her father and she's eye candy whereas I, however confident , competent and comfortable in my skin I am, am not and never will be. So, I will compete with her on other ground.

Back to the OP - sorry, we've hijacked your thread. Time to do a bit of self-promotion, blow your own trumpet etc. Do not do it just to get back at her. Do it so that you cam demonstrate to everyone how great you are at everything. Don't just react - show that you are being pro-active.

<goes off to take own advice>

Tasmania Sat 09-Feb-13 12:27:56

Purplepidjin - as much as I would like to to tell my dcs that we live in a world where looks don't matter... it simply is not true. And it's not just about looking fit and slim - it's about looking young. In the culture we live in, youthful good looks is placed above everything else sometimes (and the media tells us how we should look like).

In my career, I've seen SEVERAL people being selected during the recruitment process based on their looks rather than their ability, i.e. there were other interviewees who showed more ability, but weren't as memorable. I used to think this was mainly a "women only" problem, until I saw first-hand how people reacted in one instance when the most able possible recruit was a not so handsome man, and the preferred option was a ditzy, pretty and chatty woman who completely failed the recruitment process (i.e. tests).

When I started my career, I was probably one of those "pretty young ones". But I put on a lot of weight since my 20s, and I realized it was seriously hindering my career. Pretty and thin colleagues with less ability would be given more opportunities. After making the decision to get back in shape a few years ago, shedding more than a dozen stones - and I thank my genes that I didn't change much otherwise since my 20s - I've been getting one promotion after another. Yet, my ability and work hasn't really changed.

It's not nice, I know... but the truth often hurts.

amroc18 Sun 10-Feb-13 10:18:35

Taking credit for someone else's work is inexcusable. But two thoughts:

Does she know what the cc bit of emails is for? I had to explain this to a more inexperienced colleague when she started (and just kept outing everyone in the to line).

Remember she is doing this because she sees your work as great. Agree you should take steps to protect etc so she doesn't do again but perhaps she could do with encouragement in her own ability or some opportunities to be on different projects.

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