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Employer addressing me taking day off with sick child

56 replies

solveproblem · 04/12/2012 17:50

I've been with my current employer for a year, I have not had any days off sick for myself but a few when my chikdren have been poorly. In this year I've been here I've probably had 5 days off with them.

This month I've had 1.5 days off. My childminder phoned at 3pm one day (I normally finish at 5) and told me my DS1 had been sick so I left work to pick him up.
My husband stayed home the following day with him and then I took a day off with him.

Today I got called in to a meeting where my boss addressed this and said it is putting them in an awkward position, but that he understands that I need to stay home with my children when they're sick.

I said that I was terribly sorry but that I had not had a choice but to stay home, I also explained that me and my husband always share these days equally between us.

He again said that it's "putting them in an awkward position" with me having days off. They will not deduct anything from my wages this time but if this continues we will have to have further discussions.

Now, I know for a fact this will continue, kids are kids and they are going to get sick now and then.

So can anyone please tell me what my rights (and responsibilities) are when it comes to taking days off with poorly children?

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trueblood1fan · 04/12/2012 17:56

just phone in sick yourself if dc are ill - simples :-)

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flowerytaleofNewYork · 04/12/2012 17:57

Well if they've been paying you so far that's very generous.

You are entitled to unpaid emergency dependents leave, which is for unexpected situations and would include a day or two for child illnesses, although if your child is ill for longer you'd be expected to use the time to make alternative arrangements.

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flowerytaleofNewYork · 04/12/2012 17:58

Do not phone in sick if you are not sick, that's really not a good idea.

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PurpleTinsel · 04/12/2012 17:59

My employer will let staff take holiday or unpaid leave if they need to be off work to look after sick children.

As far as I know, employers are under no obligation to give you paid leave in order to look after sick children.

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MoreBeta · 04/12/2012 18:00

You are not supposed to claim you are sick when your children are sick. The employer is paying you sick pay I presume?

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mankyscotslass · 04/12/2012 18:01

As far as I am aware you are entitled to take emergency dependent leave, usually unpaid, in order to care for a sick child, but this is usually only for a day or so and you would be expected to have something else in place after that.

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Pourquoimoi · 04/12/2012 18:01

Agree totally with flowerytaleofnewyork both with regards to rights and the fact that you shouldn't call in sick if you are not sick.
You are lucky that they have paid you so far.

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solveproblem · 04/12/2012 18:02

Thanks flowery,

I know they are being generous paying me, I wouldn't mind them deducting pay it is just that I didn't like the fact that I got called in to a meeting and it seemed like such a big problem.

When you say a day or two, is that in a year or per occassion?

We would not be able to make alternative arrangements as we have no family nearby.

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mnistooaddictive · 04/12/2012 18:02

You are entitle to "reasonable" time off but it doesn't have to be paid. They have been very generous so far!

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Ladymuck · 04/12/2012 18:05

What flowery said: you have the right to take unpaid emergency leave to sort out emergency childcare (and that would usually cover a day or two off ill), but that is it. In terms of the discussion with your boss so far, how is your absence being treated? Unpaid or as sick leave or as annual leave?

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Ladymuck · 04/12/2012 18:06

When you took the day off did you phone and ask for unpaid leave?

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solveproblem · 04/12/2012 18:08

Ladymuck; I don't know how the absence is being treated, it has never shown on my payslip and I have never had any pay deducted. I am very grateful for them not deducting pay, I do not take it for granted.

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charllie · 04/12/2012 18:08

You are entitled to I think 15 days a year unpaid when you have a sick child under the age of 5. Double check online though

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LaCiccolina · 04/12/2012 18:08

Don't use ur own sick leave. This could leave u in open for discipline later or play into their hands if any question of ur performance ever arises.

Firms have ways of noting this type of leave as flowery describes. Usually the idea is really for u to make alternative arrangements to avoid being off long. They do have to be fair and across the board. Depending on ur type of work, leave could be agreed to be unpaid.

Are there ways you can catch up with missed work? Laptops? Extra shift? It's worth being very nice as it makes it much harder to be cross with someone whose trying hard. Keep a personal diary of days, offers and where they are accepted etc. I'd advise against outward stroppyness even if you feel aggrieved (and honestly u would be a saint if u didn't!) as that makes it very easy for a boss to act hard. It's all a bit of a game you see. A long one. Keep ur back covered.

Most work places are the same unfortunately.... :(

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YDdraigGoch · 04/12/2012 18:09

Being able to look after a sick child while you're working is always a problem. Unless you lie and say you are sick yourself (which would certainly be a disciplinary if you were found out), you'd have to take holiday, although that could be very inconvenient for the employer.

When you take a job, you'd be expected to have adequate child are and emergency cover in place. It's not your employer's problem.

I'm not surprised they've started to get difficult.

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bakingaddict · 04/12/2012 18:09

I work in the NHS and we are allowed 6 carer's days each year but it only covers the first day of illness. If you need longer you take it as annual leave or unpaid.

It's up to them if they have decided to pay you but it's unreasonable of your employer not to let you take it as AL or unpaid and to make out it's going to be dealt with like it's a disciplinary matter

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solveproblem · 04/12/2012 18:10

Ladymuck; I've always phoned in and said that I can unfortunately not come in due to sick child and I've always been apologetic about it. I have never asked for a specific kind of leave as I don't know what it would be classed as.

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GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 04/12/2012 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladymuck · 04/12/2012 18:14

Do you have an employee handbook? Does it cover emergency dependents leave? If so, is there a procedure to follow?

If there isn't then perhaps if you show them the directgov section on it, they will be aware that they need to give you some unpaid leave. Hopefully that will leave you with a compromise whereby you still get the leave that you need, but they are not left feeling out of pocket.

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givemeaclue · 04/12/2012 18:17

Well they are paying her, can't get more flexible than that!

Op normally this time off would be UNpaid so they are being supportive.

Ask for the policy on dependants leave, he they haven't got one statutory applies.

Work out a way to work from home or hire an emergency nanny. If dh has also had 5days off does that mean your dc has had 10 days sick?

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givemeaclue · 04/12/2012 18:18

Wouldn't draw their attention to the fact they don't need to pay you!

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mnistooaddictive · 04/12/2012 18:20

The fact that you have no family nearby is your responsibility and not your employers. You can have 2 days off to make alternative arrangements but legally that is all.

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solveproblem · 04/12/2012 18:24

If I wouldn't be able to make alternatice arrangements afet two days, what would happen? Can they sack me?

Just read through the handbook, it doesn't mention dependants leave.

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Ladymuck · 04/12/2012 18:48

They could start their disciplinary process.

Emergency dependents leave is a statutory right I believe, so they have to offer that, though as has been pointed out it is a right to have unpaid time to sort out childcare, not to actually provide it yourself.

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solveproblem · 04/12/2012 19:52

NaiceDude: What is a VPN connection?
In theory I would be able to work from home as long as I can access my emails and the servers.
The software I am using has got a USB-key so would be able to use it at home if I bring the USB home.

I love my job and do not want to take time off but when the kids are ill I don't have much choice (other than to share the time off with my husband which I do).

What do other parents do? Do everyone have family members that are not working and are able to look after poorly children when necessary?

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