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Career or children? Help

(7 Posts)
pinklady1107 Tue 02-Oct-12 16:15:43


I have had a very sucessful career before dc and before they went to school, once at school I sadly became a single Mum and took a lovely job within a mile from home and school. I work school hours and have a fantastic home/work life balance. Perfect. I am really happy with our set up and feel I have had the best of both.

Now my employer is changing my hours so I have to do shifts incl nights/weekends and 12hr days which is impossible for me, so have been actively job hunting.
I have been offered a wonderful opportunity but am desperately torn between my feelings of immense guilt for my children and my want for a nice job still.
The new job is an increase to almost fulltime, it involves a 60mile round trip every day, the dc will be in childcare 4 afternoons a week, and I will have to work 1;5 weekends.
It's a promotion for me but financially I'll be the same as travel and childcare costs now are considered.

I cannot stay in my current place so changing is not an option but what do I do, the decision feels huge and I'm lying awake at night worrying about it sad

Any advice? xxx

Rockchick1984 Tue 02-Oct-12 16:20:38

How old are your children? It sounds like a really good opportunity for you, although will be a massive shock to your system to change your hours so dramatically! Have you asked the kids what they think?

pinklady1107 Tue 02-Oct-12 17:01:04

The children are just 8 and 6, but obviously my opportunity means I miss all school assemblies, all pick ups from school and no days off in holidays unless I have leave so big decision.

To throw a spanner in the works just been offered a 2nd job literally this afternoon, same employer same money, 2 days after school needed but little opportunity for me.

My heart is saying take it as will be so much easier but in years to come will I regret it. Although I'm 33 so have plenty of career time left I think! X

Bilbobagginstummy Sat 06-Oct-12 12:09:12

Would moving house to the [first - good opportunity] new job be practical and help you balance home & work?

ObsequiousBanter Mon 08-Oct-12 12:13:38

Go with your gut. If you think the longer houred job will be more satisfying and better prospects, do it. It's still better than your current role and you aren't making the easier option sound good. It also sounds as if your children will still be well cared for. As long as they and you are happy go for it.

Also could you start off doing the longer hours job and trade down if it's not working? Or vice versa even?!

GeorgeEliot Mon 08-Oct-12 20:24:47

take the long-term view. I made a big mistake earlier in my career by taking the softer option with better work/life balance.

Meant that when the dc were older and i was ready for more responsibility no-one was interested, I'd waited too long.

deleted203 Mon 08-Oct-12 20:29:50

I think I would take the first job. As mothers we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We are programmed to feel guilt, my dear, whatever we do!

Yes, it is sad to miss assemblies, etc. But the realities of life are that you are a single mum and need to support your children and therefore have to work. Far, far better to work in a job that gives you some career satisfaction and opportunities. 1:5 weekends is not bad and you are looking at promotion. Go for it!

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