Find the perfect family friendly job
I HATE MY JOB!(24 Posts)
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I re-trained when I was in my forties, having been out of my previous professional field for 12 years. I had done lots of voluntary work and various part time things from home while my children were small.
I now have a senior post in my new career.
Most of us will have to work until our late 60s, so it is really worth looking at other options, as to be miserable in your job for years and years would be awful.
Lots of skills are transferable. Maybe you could do some home studying?
One thing is certain - opportunities won't come to you - you have to keep your eyes and ears open and really look for them.
Reported for the most blatant advertising ever. It is a zombie thread.
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oooh just posted and will also watch for a good recommendation of a consultant as I too need change. Good luck to you HateMyJob I am sending positive thoughts your way that you will get your dream position away from the twunt
HateMyJob, well done for your positive meeting. I've followed this thread from the beginning and I'm so glad someone acknowledged your courage. Was wondering if you or anyone could recommend a good careers consultant? I'm willing to pay for the very best. I gave up work to look after my kids a few years ago and I'm suddenly finding it really tough I see my husband getting up and leaving for the office every morning and feel jealous to the point of bitterness, and remember my own days of going out for lunch, negotiating, pitching, winning deals.. But at the same time it feels like an alien life now. Don't get me wrong, it's lovely to spend time with my children and I'm very lucky, I still consider it the best job I could do but ..... sometimes I miss the challenges of the workplace and having something to talk about other than schools / tutors / exams / nurseries. And I miss the team support. Perhaps that's why I use Mumsnet so much .. I won't give details on the field I was in but I was successful and have retained some contacts. My confidence is so low now though, I can't bring myself even to see if my suits still fit. I have tutors for my children so I think I deserve a session for myself with a professional to help me get back into work. The only question is who? All suggestions appreciated. (and I'm sorry for being such a misery guts, I feel my resemblance to my son's Eeyore toy is growing by the day)
You have my sympathy. I now hate a job which for 7 years I adored because the management -- under pressure from above -- are trying to rationalize us with another part of the organization, they've turned on a dime and arbitrarily behaving like total c** and basically trying to force us into resigning.
I'm impressed that you've been able to be as strategic as you have about it. The most depressing thing about what's happening to me is I seem to have lost all self-confidence. If management tells you for long enough that you're shit you start believing it
How you guard against that creeping degradation of your self-esteem that happens when you hate your boss?
Thanks!!! Your replies have made my day!
I had a really good meeting with the big boss. He told me he would be discussing an interim 'reward' for my results with my line manager and that he would explore secondment opportunities for me. He also told me I was valued, and courageous for raising my need for something different and that he thought my skills could be well used elsewhere. So that was really positive.
NatashaBee, that is really encouraging, thanks - I can put quite a lot of 'delivery' on my CV and I do know of one recruitment agency who kind of work in my area so I might pitch a CV to them and see what they advise.
I have also found a very expensive career consultancy, but also some local professional careers guidance coaches (not just 'life coaches') so I might follow that up. CBT sounds like a good approach too.
Hope you all who also hate your jobs get some satisfaction too.
Poor you! I hate my job too so completely sympathise. I also feel like I'm not suited to my industry but that I am stuck, that my skills are non-transferable, and like I can't afford to leave, retrain, or consult a career counsellor!
One thing that might be worth considering is CBT - some organisations that offer this also offer careers guidance, as a way of helping you make positive decisions. Also second the idea of mentor, if you can find one.
Oh cool! Hope they are worth the money then.
Thank you - I have just googled a couple and they are pricey but they also look like they are exactly what I need.
Yes, there are professional careers advisors whose brief is not that of recruitment consultant etc but to provide advice to you the client about your career situation/choices/options/direction etc. My sisters friend consulted one and was very satisfied, I know it made a difference to her, which is how I know about it. However, not having used one myself I don't know how she went about finding/selecting them.
Mentor a good idea, and yes a professional careers persons sounds like a good idea. I had no idea such people existed beyond school advisors telling schoolkids to get a trade. Are there private career advisors who have a different brief to coaches or recruitment consultants then?
Sorry to hear others are in the same place. Perhaps we can plan our escapes together!
Poor you, you could see a professional careers advisor? They can be good at advising plans for sideways moves or moves within your existing industry it isn't all about total career changes.
Also, could you seek out a mentor for your situation, lots of networking organisations have mentor schemes for people who want to make change and get on, but it isn't about going on courses etc.
Oh dear, I really sympathise with you but don't have any answers I'm afraid as it sounds like you are in a similar situation to me, except that you sound much more high powered! I think I do a good job and try very very hard to work in a strategic/systems way too but the system I work in is extremely difficult to change and this can't be done on my own.
I work in an area where there is huge stress but little ability for our team to make the changes we need to, to meet the challenge. Not a good combination. I know what you mean about retraining and I'm in the same boat, too much experience in this area, very specific, specialist training and a salary that would take forever to reach again at my advanced age!
You do sound like you have lost confidence it's so hard not to in these circumstances. Could you talk to someone who knows/has worked with you in another part of the organisation who could give you some advice and an unbiased appraisal of your skills and abilities? Like a mentor? You are clearly articulate and thoughtful and you sound very competent and impressive to me!
Aw, you lovely people. Thanks for listening.
There aren't recruitment consultants, really, in my field. It is such a small one. No, nothing to do with animals, though some of my colleagues are right knuckle-dragging apes sometimes .
I suppose I could just go and see a generic recruitment consultant and ask if there's any hope for me? I just worry about that being too desperate and embarrassing and I will be humiliated. DH is always on at me to apply for something else, just to boost my confidence, but I think I will just be laughed at.
Maybe things will be better when I talk to the big boss tomorrow. Though I also fear any expression of my discontent will just scoot me to the top of any future redundancy list. I need to go in all positive and thrusting and with visions for the future, and all - which I couldn't feel less like doing right now.
I too HATE my job. I have HATED it for the past year or so. I think I am quite good at it, but my manager is awful and has consistently sidelined and undermined me particularly over the past 6 months. Actually it is not the nuts and bolts job I hate, it is working for him and the total lack of respect that he affords me.
So what to do? I have been looking for another job for a while. It hasn't been easy, but this week I got one offer, and it is possible that I might get a second. Once the paperwork comes through I am going to sit the boss down, and (after a long discussion which I will lead) I will say, "You leave me no option but to resign". I won't mention the job. I am hoping that they will feel it will be sensible to compromise me out (ie pay me off). We will see. The sense of relief when I got the offer was amazing.
Can you try and get another job, and simply survive in the interim period? From experience it isn't fun (and I had a good 3 months off this summer following an operation which was fantastic) but without wanting to be smug, I do feel in a much better place now.
Poor you, hating your job is miserable. Sounds like you need some inspiration to make a change. Not knowing your sector it is hard to advise but might it be worth going to see a recruitment consultant in your field? They could advise how to tart up your CV and may be able to recommend some relevant training etc?
Failing that why not try and arrange that weekend away and just brain storm, I am sure there is a solution out there for you.
I've namechanged, as I know people here and don't want to out myself. For that reason I also can't say what kind of business it is, as it is a very small world.
Actually, I don't completely hate my job. I am not sure I am suited to it any longer, and I hate quite a lot of my colleagues. The operations manager - who is a peer, not my line manager - yesterday described my suggestions (which were derived from my having an informed senior strategy role elsewhere in the organisation, where an organisation-wide policy was developed with my help...) as 'hysterical'. He's a twat and I can't bear not being taken seriously.
I have just put in three years of very hard, strategic work on something that has just had demonstrable results and may well have saved my colleagues' jobs. On a day to day level, I have to work with people who take the piss, are incompetent, who treat me like an idiot. Despite not being a manager, I have made every effort to improve team relations, bent over backwards to support colleagues and enable junior staff, yet I have come to the conclusion that this is a bunch of people I can no longer work with. I am very good at 80% of my job, and good enough in the remaining 20%
I am meeting (with the support of my line manager) with someone at the executive level tomorrow to ask if I can be seconded or moved into a more strategic role, but it is unlikely to be permanent.
I can't afford to leave and have no job; I have skills that don't transfer well into other industries - or perhaps at least I don't have the confidence to transfer them. I am rapidly becoming depressed about it and more and more immobilised. I know lots of this is loss of confidence but I don't feel employable anywhere else, and the climate is not exactly ripe for random career-changers, is it?
The usual answer is 'what do you like doing?' 'what are you good at?' etc. The thing is, I am good at my job, at looking after my family and there's very little else. I can't afford to retrain from scratch. I can't afford to pay coaches and go on really expensive course, although I would - if someone knew of one - consider something like that if it was right.
Sometimes I think I just need a weekend away completely on my own, to work things out.
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