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New employer at 11 weeks pregnant.

4 replies

MyDaydream · 28/05/2012 15:08

I start a new job next week when I'll be 11 weeks. When I had the interview and accepted the job I wasn't pregnant, but due to a holiday I had booked I've had to put off my start date until now because they don't let you take time off during the 6 week training period.
The problem is my first scan is booked for the 18th when I'll be two weeks into training, and really I should have my 16 week MW appointment during that time as well. I've tried rearranging my scan but they're not able to, but I could arrange my MW appointment for after training has finished and I'll have the appointment day off as part of my rota anyway.
I'm worried about announcing my pregnancy too early, but know that even if I leave it until the latest legal point to tell them I won't have been there that long, I'll have been in training 6 weeks and doing my job for 6 weeks on top of that. I'm now wondering should I just come clean at the earliest opportunity so I can get these times off without having to lie. Even if had my scan and MW appointment during the training it would be a maximum of 8 hours off split over 2 days.
I'm just wondering when would be the best time to tell my new employer. I have a welcome meeting later in the week when I imagine I'll meet the people I would need to inform so could ask for a quick word then. Or would it be better to do it on my official first day? Or would it look better on me to wait until I've started doing my job and just try and get 4 hours off for a Drs appointment without mentioning pregnancy at all?
I'm just really worried about being seen as a troublemaker or piss taker and really wanted to be able to rearrange my scan but since I'm only available for 45 minutes in the early morning they're not able to.

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Xenia · 28/05/2012 15:21

I was hired at 5 months pregnant but they knew I'd just taken 2 weeks of holiday off for the first 2 babies so I was hardly a pregnancy risk!
I would tell them asl ate as possible. Might even be worth your paying for a private scan out of your own pocket if you can afford it, in the evening to avoid interfering with the job and the training or just have the scan much later than normal. As my babies tended not to show until 5 months (I'm quite small) I tended not to announce it until then anyway. Try to wait to unti you're 5 months pregnant and then tell them. Also think about how you can disrupt them least although you may not want just to take off 2 weeks as I did.

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MistyB · 30/05/2012 19:03

It's a bit difficult to follow Xenia with talk of two weeks of maternity leave but I would suggest telling your new employer's HR representative as soon as possible and explain about the appointments, for which you are entitled to time off. I would also talk to your future boss as soon as possible, preferably face to face and ideally before you start so they can have time to get used to the idea before you start.

I was a less than ideal new hire in my last job. I had the interview before I knew I was pregnant and told them when they offered me the job. They were very supportive, confirmed that they wanted to hire me for the long term and pregnancy was an important part of life and work would fit round it. It was good to have shared the information before I started as the team I worked with, already knew before I started so I had less to explain.

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tiggersreturn · 04/06/2012 21:36

I did this. Interviewed when I was 10 weeks and started at 17 weeks. I told them at 21 as I'd started showing then and hoped I'd made a good enough impression in 4 weeks to stay on. I figured if I hadn't I would explain the blip on my cv as not wanting to burden a firm with my pg.

I'm high risk so had at least 1 hospital appointment in that time and just said I had a hospital appt and would make up time later that day which I did. I don't feel the need to burden work with the ins and outs of my hospitals appts (and I unfortunately have quite a few). I just find ways of doing work during them and working to make up the time either in the office or at home, irrelevant of whether they're pg related or my more major underlying condition. I had a mc while working and simply told them that I was having a minor operation under general anaesthetic and needed 2 days off. That was enough information for them. (I probably should have taken longer but that's another matter)

The no time off in training is to discourage holidays, other commitments etc. Medical appts and sickness are unlikely to invalidate it. Why not do the early morning and just be a bit late? Scans are quite quick particularly if you're first on the list. Or just inform your new employer and say that of course you'll digest the notes/handouts and catch up on what you've missed to the best of your ability.

If you want to find a way around it why not see if you can arrange both for now? I'm assuming the scan is a dating one? I had mine for ds1 at 10 weeks. If the mw appt is a booking in one it can definitely be done well in advance. If a routine one why not see if there is an option to do it through your gp practice at a better time? Also this is probably a bit impractical now but unless you're really set on the hospital you're going to you might find there are others who do convenient early morning times.

Good luck it's not easy.

Personally I wouldn't tell them you're pg so early in a relationship. Not wishing any ill luck on you but not every pg sadly ends in a baby. While honesty and openness are positive traits, and every employer employing a woman in their fertile years knows this is a possibility no one is thrilled to learn that the person they've just employed to fill a position is going to be working at sub-capacity and will create a 6month-12 month employment problem (because there aren't that many Xenia's out there) which potentially may end in them not returning (I'm assuming it's your dc1?). It will give you more legal protection informing them early but the cost may be the work you get and your perception within the organisation (dependant on what they're like).

When you tell them (either before you start or after) talk to your immediate boss first, face to face, stress your commitment to return, and then let them handle the internal procedure but confirm your discussion in a polite email to him/her cc HR. Also (not practical if you haven't started) try to have some ideas to suggest on how best to cover your maternity leave. It is not obligatory but shows you're thinking about the employer's position.

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tribpot · 04/06/2012 21:46

Can you say you have a hospital appointment for the scan, and not be any more specific than that?

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