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Raised eye brows

(19 Posts)
Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 12:28:48


I've not had problems at work really. But recently I've had some funny reactions from a few people. Can I run these past you?

The other day I said to a new boss, its time for me to go home now. He raised his eyebrows at me and looked as though I'd said something bizarre. All I said was that it was time for me to go home. So why the raised eyebrows.

Then the other day, someone else said to me that I had certainly highlighted the positives about a particular piece of work. I then agreed that there certainly lots of positives, but it was an odd reaction from him when I said it.

What's going on all of a sudden?!! Am I missing something?

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Sun 23-Oct-11 12:44:17

No idea.

Was it your time to leave? Had your shift finished? I mean, that would be the obvious one. Did you need to announce it? Perhaps he was surprised that you said that instead of just saying bye.

You are the same poster going through the bad divorce and all the psych evaluations, aren't you?

are they aware of that? could that be the reason?

Or perhaps you are imagining it and feeling paranoid. You are obviously highly stressed atm, you feel your solicitor is blackmailing you and now you think that work are looking at you funny. It's like you are beginning to feel like everyone is against you.

Perhaps the stressful situation you are currently in is affecting you (understandably!)

You have the option to actually ask your boss and your colleague if everything is ok, if you have inadvertently said something wrong.

MJlovesscareypants Sun 23-Oct-11 12:54:53

Message withdrawn

Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:47:40

Hello. Thanks for your posts. Yes I certainly am under a hell of a lot of stress. So much stress that my condition is a testament to my strength.

I am already seeing a doctor now and again, so thats sorted.

I am posting these questions on here as a sounding board. To get some views. I am under a hell of a lot of stress so I would expect there to be some side effects. I am looking out for these and don;t disagree that there is a risk of affected judgement.

However, it is not of help to me to if I just get told I am unwell because I am under stress and hence my views are invalid. The other posts have already given many views that thyere are two sides to the arguments and I have evidence such as pages and pages of notes, hand written messages, and recordings of various things. So these matters are not in my imagination! And whether I am under stress or not, I still have views.

I apprciate that it is hard to believe that a solicitor may be providing inadequate advice. However that is bias towards an untested prejudged view of all solicitors being right and fair. What is to be considered is the situation and thats what I am posting about.

Also I am posting on here to get some views. This is a positive thing to do. If I take such matters direct to boss etc my views may not cover all aspects. Hence my posts on here to get views.

Thanks for reading.

flowery Sun 23-Oct-11 14:56:15

I haven't seen your other thread but responding purely to what you've written.

"The other day I said to a new boss, its time for me to go home now. He raised his eyebrows at me and looked as though I'd said something bizarre. All I said was that it was time for me to go home. So why the raised eyebrows"

Depends really. Is it the kind of job/relationship with your boss where you usually just announce that it's time for you to go? If so, if it's a new boss perhaps he didn't realise that? Perhaps he was expecting you to say "It's 5pm and I've finished x,y and z, is it ok if I go now?" or similar. If he was expecting you to be checking it was ok for you to go, I imagine just stating that you were going may raise an eyebrow.

"Then the other day, someone else said to me that I had certainly highlighted the positives about a particular piece of work. I then agreed that there certainly lots of positives, but it was an odd reaction from him when I said it."

Depends who it was that said it and what the context was. Were the positives you had highlighted about your own input or performance, or about the situation in general. Difficult to know without knowing more about what the piece of work was. Were there some negatives about it which he might have felt you missed?

I'm not sure any of this means anything is 'going on all of a sudden' though, if otherwise everything has been absolutely fine. Sounds like it's a possibility that you might be reading more into these things than necessary, but if you think that either of these people might have concerns, just ask them how they feel things are going.

Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:58:06

Thats helpful of you thank you.

I don't have the answers, only that I didn't have problems there and I don't want there to be.

MJlovesscareypants Sun 23-Oct-11 15:03:13

Message withdrawn

Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 15:33:25

I see. Really thank you for your posts already, for reading and replying.

I see a doctor which is what was recommended.

unhappychanger Sun 23-Oct-11 15:49:01

I can only comment on the first issue which is about announcing you were going home.
I think if you were my employee on my day job I would expect you to say "I think everything is finished, is there anything you would like me to do?" before simply saying it was time to go. It depends on your job and role, whether you are answerable to him.

unhappychanger Sun 23-Oct-11 15:50:03

Otherwise it might appear that you were telling your boss what to do.

Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 15:54:57

Yes, I think that's what it could be.

Everything's ok, then maybe I had a problem at home or something so my attention turned to that too soon probably. When there are quite a few other problems, it starts to feel as though I am treading on glass. One little thing out of place, and there's some adverse comment there!

catsareevil Sun 23-Oct-11 16:00:51

Are you planning on letting your doctor know about your concerns next time you see them? Knowing your medical history and the type of problems that you have had in the past might mean that they will be able to advise you.

Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 16:09:37

Hello. Sorry, medical history?

catsareevil Sun 23-Oct-11 16:12:21

Sorry, I meant that if your doctor has looked after you in the past, when you felt more unwell then they might be able to help you at present, in teasing out what is going on.

LaCiccolina Sun 23-Oct-11 17:47:59

One of the delightful things about offices is that frankly 90% of your colleagues are extremely odd. The other 5% mildly odd, and 5% likeable. (All numbers subject to alteration depending on placement/location/level up food chain/etc etc) Mental health has nothing to do with it occasionally. Sometimes someones just weird. Sounds like one of those times.

Realise you are in therapy but not everything needs analysing! ;0) Best of luck chuck!

Tanya2011 Sun 23-Oct-11 18:39:40

Ha ha. Very funny LaCiccolina.

Catsareevil >>> Possibly. When I need medical advice, I go with the medical advice I am given. I went ot he dr first, the dr suggested a psychiatrist due to all my circumstances, I did that, and took the consultants advice, then after a time the consultant its ok now, keep in touch with your dr who can take it from here.

Thanks for your posts. I think Unhappychanger has probably spotted what it was. It seems a simple matter but when there are lots of problems elsewhere which I realise can affect my concentration, and when everything has been going ok then that, I just couldn't see it for myself.

StillSquiffy Mon 24-Oct-11 09:05:15

Point 1: new boss might expect people to leave when the work's done for the day, not when the clock strikes 5 (or whatever). If you are his PA or something and working on something together it might not occur to him that you would leave at anything other than a 'natural' break in the work. I certainly expect my staff to finish up what they're doing and then double check with me if there's anything urgent left, regardless of what the time is. If they need to leave on time (or early) then they usually tell me in advance. But saying that, long hours are standard in my industry, so whether it was odd in your particular industry/role, I can't say.

Highlighting the positives: I'd read this as perhaps being a hint that you reviewed something without being fully objective: He may have been expecting you to come back with both positives and negatives, or he may think you were a bit over the top in your assessment/praise.

Don't think either of these are linked in any way

LoveBeingAWitch Tue 25-Oct-11 07:51:47

Totally agree with StillSquiffy, in fact exactly what I was going to post. So depends on your job and the way it's done. Also it's a new boss, he might have different expectations and you are just getting to know him.

Re the positive comments, I would suggest they thought you had ignored the negatives.

Re what some of the other posters have said and the other thread (of which I saw some), I can understand why they have said that. If you had posted about this only, no there would not be a suggestion of you being paranoid. But you haven't, you have also posted about your solicitor and ex plus that you have had mh issues. It would be wrong for them not to ask you to consider if you are completely better given you are now having these thoughts about a growing circle of people, does this now include mn?

Tanya2011 Tue 25-Oct-11 17:57:53

Hello and thanks for your replies.

As I have already written a few times, I was under all sorts of stresses so I took medical advice which I followed. With recovery, I see a doctor from time to time. Many of the problems that were causing such terrible stress levels are behind me now.

About the solicitor posts, I have copy messages, recordings, and notes so if a solicitor denies the content of the evidence, or gives advice that is obviously different to the evidence, then there is a question about the advice. I am amazed by the posts that give bias and unquestionable reliance on a solicitor as always being right.

The answer to the question in this post was quite simple in the end, I just couldn't pick it out hence the post in the first place. Thanks for looking and for all the answers.

Please don't reply to this as I won't be looking at it again.

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