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Should I stay or should I go?

(20 Posts)
inmysparetime Wed 07-Sep-11 20:45:17

I have worked in a small day nursery for several years now, close to DCs schools and convenient to get to, with good shifts that allow school runs etc.
An opening for a management post came up, and 2 of us went for interview. The other person got the job despite having far less qualifications and experience than me. It's not the first time people have been promoted above me despite me having a degree in childcare.
I have asked if I could lock up the nursery and was refused as I'm not management, even though some supply staff have keys and lock up.
Boss initially said it was because I am part time, but other management staff have dropped their days and remained in management.
Should I stay and hope one day I'll have better prospects here, or give it up and be a SAHM as my wages barely cover childcare costs anyway?

laracroft2001 Wed 07-Sep-11 21:00:16

ask for specific feedback as to why you didn't get the job, and ask what they think you should be doing to give yourself a better chance the next time an opportunity arises. Mention that you assume your hours wouldn't affect your chances as there are other people in a management level who are also PT x

inmysparetime Wed 07-Sep-11 21:02:40

Sorry, forgot to add DCs are 7 and 9, and DH is on a good wage in a stable job. Mostly I want opinions on whether I'm better sticking with a convenient job but little prospects, or jacking it in and not working below my abilities any more.
Am I a mug for staying, or a fool for considering leaving in the current job Market?

laracroft2001 Wed 07-Sep-11 21:04:30

depends whats more important to you at the moment, career progression or stable family life.... only you can answer that!!

ChickenLickn Wed 07-Sep-11 21:10:01

Well, I think you would be a mug not to try out laracroft's advice first.

And apply for more suitable positions in the meantime.

inmysparetime Wed 07-Sep-11 21:16:15

My kids are happy with afterschool clubs etc. and my home life is stable. I wonder whether staying in a role so far below my capabilities will damage my prospects more than taking a career break. I have been overqualified for 4 years now, how long is it reasonable before it just looks like I am incapable of management?
Should I confront my boss about what I need to do to be considered for management posts?

laracroft2001 Wed 07-Sep-11 21:27:23

yeah def speak to your boss. As an employer they should be giving you feedback and progression opportunities. It could end up being a really useful chat and they give you things that you could work on which will help your job prospects (both there and elsewhere) in the future. I wouldn't 'confront' them, but most def ask for a meeting to discuss your progression and future prospects.

I wouldn't say being employed would ever damage prospects more than a career break - you're still working, staying within the industry, up to date with change in legislations etc etc


inmysparetime Wed 07-Sep-11 21:30:08

Laracroft, I will get feedback on Friday and intend to get to the bottom of why boss seems reluctant to give me management responsibilities. I will ask if I can move into the role vacated by the other candidate as it is at least a step up from where I currently am, but if she refuses that, DH has suggested I just hand in my notice.
I am getting a little cross that I have taken time and money to get the qualifications I now have, and feel they count for nothing where I am.

laracroft2001 Wed 07-Sep-11 21:36:10

good luck!

inmysparetime Wed 07-Sep-11 21:39:36

Thanks, I know I should be grateful I have a job at all, I'm just teed off that I didn't get the promotion (again). Thanks for being calm and helpful, I feel better about the situation now, less emotional about the feedback (being the happy side of a beer is also helpinggrin)

An0therName Wed 07-Sep-11 21:41:04

Why don't you apply to other nurseries in the area - sometimes its easier to get a promotion coming from outside?

inmysparetime Wed 07-Sep-11 21:59:06

Management jobs are rarely posted externally, as candidates are usually found within the nursery without the cost of advertising.

inmysparetime Thu 08-Sep-11 07:52:10

I have slept on it and still feel aggrieved that I am being overlooked again. Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

An0therName Thu 08-Sep-11 10:05:05

Sometimes there isn't a good reason -other than the managment don't want to give you the job , you will have to wait for feedback.
I have to say that I come across people who have got qualitfications and then some how think they are "deserve" a promotion - it doesn't really work like that
Have you looked into other things you could do with your qualifications - childminder and nanny might be possiblities - and childminder would mean no childcare costs and can be very tax efficent

inmysparetime Thu 08-Sep-11 10:18:10

I have a list of questions to ask my boss during feedback, largely what I need to do to improve my chances of moving into management, and how can my boss support me in developing myself professionally. If it had been once I had been promoted over, I would write it off as not personal, but it's harder that I initially interviewed for a junior management position 3 years ago, and after interviewing me, boss recruited internally instead. I joined as junior staff, on the understanding that I would progress as positions opened up. Several reshuffles have happened and yet I am still just a nursery nurse. I always bring up at appraisals that I would like to gain office and management experience, so boss knows of my ambitions. Perhaps something is wrong with me that means I am incapable of management? If so, nobody has ever told me what it is.

haveigotnewsforyou Thu 08-Sep-11 10:18:59

It could be time for you to go. Life has a habit of prompting you to take action.

Perhaps you should become a SAHM, perhaps you should just find another job. Explore all options. The right thing will come up. Don't write yourself off because you didn't get the job at your current workplace. It could be that there is something far bigger and better just around the corner!

Best of luck!

haveigotnewsforyou Thu 08-Sep-11 10:21:54


It could be that your face just doesn't fit. Nothing wrong in that per se. It could mean that you are far too nice and they actually want someone hard nosed and business minded. If I were you I would just let them get on with it. It's fairly clear that you are not going to get on where you are.

inmysparetime Sat 10-Sep-11 07:08:41

Met with boss yesterday for feedback on the interview.
She said cv and letter were great, can't fault knowledge, qualifications, training etc.
The reason I didn't get it is that I couldn't demonstrate recent leadership of staff (due to the role I've been in). I asked boss how we could develop this area and we have agreed that I can take on supporting students. I made my point that I would not like to still be nursery nursing in a couple of years and would consider FT but only for a senior position.
Feeling a lot better now, but we'll see if it's just words or if anything actually changes.

donthateme Sat 10-Sep-11 09:59:13

Well done- that sounds like a productive discussion and you have achieved a specific outcome.

I agree though that you need to think more widely about applying for other jobs and if necessary travelling further in the future. It does sound as if you've stuck with this job out of convenience 'for quite a while, and tbh many employers welcome fresh employees from outside. You may have all the qualifications etc but there is no substitute for experience in a variety of settings.

laracroft2001 Sun 11-Sep-11 07:39:23

that seems positive... now you have some constructive feedback to work on!

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