After verbally accepting a job, a better offer has come through on the same day

[RodentOfUnusualSize]

hi all,

I'm posting here on behalf of my DH. We've recently relocated and he has been lucky enough to secure two job offers this week.

Company A is a smaller and less prestigious company but the role is a good fit for him.

Company B is a bigger firm and the salary is about £15K higher. However the role wasn't exactly what he was looking for.

After talking through the pros and cons, he decided to go for Job A. Even though it pays less he felt that he would be happier in the role. He verbally accepted and the company duly sent out a contract to be signed today.

When he told Company B that he would be declining their offer and the reasons why, they phoned back and have now restructured the role to suit him.

He is now torn. He prides himself on his morals and integrity, and he feels that reneging on his verbal agreement with Company A would be wrong. Furthermore it is a small industry and he is concerned about his reputation. However, he hasn't signed a contract yet, and Company B is offering the same role, with more money and probably better prospects.

So what would you do? Ethically he feels like he is obliged to honour his verbal agreement, however we are talking about a lot of money and I think that he feels he would be letting his family down by not accepting the second role.

TIA for any opinions.

[Tortington]

i'd go where the money and security is, after all, working for a living is about providing for my family.

[gaaagh]

Company B.

By all means be as polite, apologetic to Company A as possible, but this is a professional decision. Your DH needs to do what's best for him (and your family), NOT a would-be employer who he hasn't even signed a contract with yet.

Decline Company A graciously, but decline it all the same, would be my choice, without a doubt.

[gaaagh]

p.s. If we're discussing your husband's ethics here - if he still feels guilty - just remember that if it's a business decision to let him go in 4 months from Company A because profits drop, or a key client goes elsewhere, etc - they'd drop him like a hot potato if they felt it was in their best interests.

Of course, individual managers usually don't like letting people go, etc - but from a company (bigger) perspective, your DH is just a resource which fits into the company strategy for growing/maintaining business.

Your DH needs to split off reason/professional motivations vs. being led by the heart (as you might if e.g. the employer was also your best friend).

I've seen lots of family members do things for their employer through guilt, fear, "i'll get paid back eventually" - and in 99% of cases, it mattered not a jot. Employment is a recip. agreement for the benefit of both parties. Tell your DH to keep repeating that

And GL to your DH in his new job btw!

[TrillianAstra]

To minimise the guilt, tell company A as soon as possible that something has come up, to allow them to offer the job to their second-choice candidate.

[SilveryMoon]

I'd go for company B too.
Last month I was in the same position. I had verbally accepted a job offer and then was offered more with another place, so I sent an e-mail as soon as I had made my decision that I had to decline their original offer purely on the grounds of covering my own costs in terms of childcare.

[zandy]

Tell the first company about the money offered by the second company. They then have a chance to up their offer to match. If they can't, then they will fully understand why the choice has been made.

[RodentOfUnusualSize]

Thanks all for the responses, I am truly grateful.

I am inclined to agree and think that he should go with company B. However I was worried that I couldn't trust my instincts as there is a conflict of interest for me (my family will directly benefit from the higher salary).

[motherinferior]

These are grim times. You have to go for the best offer that works for you, I'm afraid. And I agree that companies will drop you if they have to, too.

[An0therName]

know you got advise but my DH did this and it was so the right call - and the fact that that company B have restructed the job shows that they really want him and that they are flexiable

[motherinferior]

Also: it's about his career and its development too. This is a career opportunity, it sounds, as much as a salary one.

[warthog]

company b without a doubt.

but he must phone company a and explain properly. don't do it through the agent. explain the situation and say he simply can't do without the money.

that's life.

if he had signed and returned the contract that would be a different thing, but i've had people sign contracts and still not pitch on the first day of work and not bother to let me know.

[wearenotinkansas]

I've actually done this. It's embarrassing to make the call to the company you are letting down, but if you are straight with them, they will understand. It happens more often than you might think.

[Angel786]

Company B. Although he has accepted verbally company A are not going to sue him, but it will restrict his chances of working for them in the future.

[RodentOfUnusualSize]

Just a quick update - DH went with company B. After imagining the worst Company A were very reasonable about it all, probably because DH informed them as soon as possible and apologised profusely for mucking them around. It also helped that the recruitment consultant involved with the first role actually works for both companies. Although they didn't represent DH for both roles, they obviously don't want to get Company B offside by kicking up a stink.

Only time will tell if it was the right decision, let's hope so!

Thanks again everyone for taking the time to offer advice, it really helped.

[warthog]

that's great! no bridges burnt.

[PercyPigPie]

I think he did the right thing (lucky him by the way! very impressive in a recession!).

[CaptainMartinCrieff]

Company B. But be honest with company A, apologise and thank them for considering you (DH).

[CaptainMartinCrieff]

Oopppps should perhaps read more of the thread before answering.