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Should I complain about my Boss?

(4 Posts)
MersyMersy Fri 12-Aug-11 16:28:18

Hi All,

I'm looking for some advice on my current work problem. Its quite long winded, sorry! I feel as though my Boss is deliberately trying to put my under stress and antagonise me. He's always been this way with me and I have complained about him in the past. Whilst I havent accpeted his behaviour I have 'managed' it, however its come to the point where I dont feel like I can 'manage' it any more.

I feel that he is trying to set me up to fail so that he can get rid of me. He has misrepresented my sales figures and progress in key meetings twice,he often emails me asking me for work he knows I have already done and will bring up problems that I have already resolved with him. I am constantly having to correct him and defend myself. I have confronted him (in a nice way) over this and he confessed that he does it because he wants to get reactions out of me and he never gets one. I've told him that I think that attitude is inappropriate and unprofessional and also feels like a personal attack. He thought the whole conversation was highly amusing, apologised only to carry on regardless afterwards.

I'm currently pregnant and I told him straight away in a vain attempt to maybe get him to stop. I was hoping that trying to get sport out of pregnant woman might pull on his moral cord. I was wrong. If anything he has upped his campaign. He then started putting demands on me to deal with things that arent related to my role, and a result I just couldnt cope and had a breakdown of sorts and I was signed off for 6 weeks with stress. I was contemplating not going back but I like my job and didnt want to feel forced out of it. Before I was signed off I spoke to a lady in work who is sort of his number 2 and briefly explained the situtation and I told her some of the things he had said to me over my pregnancy. She immediately said that if I didnt want to deal with him anymore I wouldnt have to. I agreed to this obviously. However when I came back nothing was mentioned and on my first day back he was at it again, emailing all day. He even got a colleague of mine to email me with things I had already dealt with (I know this because one confided in me that they'd been 'made' to it!).

I'm at my wits end, I dont want to cause trouble for myself or put myself through any more stress but at the same time I cant ignore this anymore now that it has impacted on my health so seriously. I was really scared by how awful I felt whilst I was off and how stressed I felt, I really dont want to have to go throught that again. I've asked for a meeting with Number 2 but I dont know how to approach this in the right way. I dont like labelling people or pointing fingers but I cant allow myself to get ill over work again. Can I request not to speak to my own manager? Will I land myself in hot water by accusing him of bullying me? And would you even say it was bullying? I want to do something but I'm so lost! Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks MNers.

StillSquiffy Fri 12-Aug-11 18:27:29

You are being bullied and his number 2 knows it. The informal weay of dealing with it hasn't worked so the only way it will stop is if (a) you leave and don't come back, and (b) you put in a grievance.

You have nothing to lose. Put in the grievance and let him start worrying instead. And remember that the more he turns the screws and the more the company lets him play silly buggers, the more likely you are to win your claim/grievance. Keep a diary with notes of everything, and write things down as they happen.

MersyMersy Sun 14-Aug-11 16:27:10

Thanks for replying StillSquiffy.

I have started keeping a diary, I was really hoping i wouldn't have to make a formal complaint but I agree that that is no the only option.

I like what you said about 'turning the screws' and 'playing silly buggers'! Pretty much sums the whole situation up!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 18-Aug-11 21:41:17

Whybulliesbully.com is a useful website for understanding what's going on. It definitely sounds like bullying. Complex business.

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