Hi.
I am feeling really upset that at 16 weeks pregnant (after three miscarriages) I am being pressured into organising leave and cover. I'm taking this pregnancy a step at a time - and feel that at five months pregnant there will be ample time for us to put in place arrangements for my cover. I only announced my pregnancy at 14 weeks, when I felt that I couldn't hide my bump any more. Ideally I'd have waited much longer.
I'm a CEO and I wrote to the Chair of my organisation (at fourteen weeks) stating that I am pregnant, my due date, when I want to commence ML, how long I want to take and that I'd like to take up to 10 KIT days during my ML.
However, someone loosely associated (works within the same federation but is not in any shape or form officially involved with my employment) apparently rang my Chairman last week to talk about his ideas. I find this totally insensitive, and my Chairman and I have seen this particular person off (although it took some doing, and the use of the terms 'my prerogative' and 'maternity legislation'). What I wanted to say was 'back off and mind your own'.
I am meeting my Chairman at the end of this month when I'll be about 20 weeks pregnant to finalise arrangements. I've made it very clear what I want, and I know my rights - I am not asking my employer for any favours, nor any advice.
My issue is that suddenly everyone seems to have an opinion on your life choices when you're pregnant, as if in my forties I've somehow lost the ability to make decisions for myself.
My Chairman even said 'well you've had losses so we should plan for if the baby comes early'. I think this is a totally outrageous thing to say and hugely insensitive to the trauma I've had over the last year, losing three babies.
Perhaps I am hormonal and over sensitive. But it's really upset me.
I am dreading my Chairman saying something like 'you won't want to take only six months' or 'you won't want to work up to the birth'. I'm fully aware that both of those points but I have very good reasons for both of them. And I know the notice periods I will have to give if I want to change these arrangements.
I've also just had an email from a male colleauge offering me uninvited advice about taking baths and exercise!
Anyone got any tips on keeping an employer 'in line' ie: not having to listen to them advise? All I want is to formally finalise arrangements, I really don't want their advice.
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Advice please - feeling pressured to organise maternity leave (and everyone has an opinion!)
18 replies
expectingprofessional · 03/08/2011 13:22
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