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Unexpected pg, promotion prospects, when would you tell work...?

11 replies

fatandknackered · 17/07/2011 20:49

Evening, not sure I am posting in the right place so feel free to correct me!

This is a bit of a story... have found out am unexpectedly pg with DC3. After getting over the initial shock both DH and me are happy about it. We have concerns about whether me going back to work will make sense, as will need childcare for all 3 at some points of the year (DC1 will start school next year).

In the meantime, I am being put forward for a big promotion at work - the plan being that I will "act up" to the new role for the next year or so, with promotion process (panel interviews and form filling) taking place in spring. This process involves a few senior people at work, and I am currently concerned that I am "wasting their time" as based on my dates I won't be around when the panel etc takes place.

So my dilemma - do I tell them now that am pg (even though only 6 weeks and could come to nothing)? or do I sit tight until the 12 week mark and risk p*ing them off when they find out, as by that time the plan will be sorted out? Timing is of the essence IYSWIM.

By way of background, have been working for same company for many years, and work has always been important to me, big part of who I am etc. Would be a wrench to leave but if best for my family then it's what I would do. Want very much to do the right thing, despite fact I have slogged my guts out for them on many occasions.

So WWYD in my situation?

OP posts:

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Northernlurker · 17/07/2011 20:52

DON'T TELL ANYBODY!

If I was doing the working and pg thing again I wouldn't tell anybody till at least 20+ weeks. I have told two employers at around 10-12 weeks in the past and on both occasions I have been TOTALLY shafted.
Just go with it for now. They are your employers, they don't own you. Even without a baby in the mix you might decide to leave. That's what happens - people make choices - male, female, young, old.

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ziptoes · 17/07/2011 21:06

don't tell.

I had a job interview a few weeks after finding out I was pregnant. It was a huge promotion. I didn't tell and got the job. Had to tell while negotiating pay etc with HR, and they thanked me for not telling. Makes it impossible for the unsuccessful candidate to complain about discrimination.

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Oligo · 17/07/2011 21:08

don't say anything. Once you do then their plans (for you and the work) will change based on the assumption you will not be there. Nothing is certain but they will go with the safe and secure option for them. You need to go with the secure otpion for you. It is hard with they way you might be feeling and the guilt etc. but tellng really is an attitude changer and often an opportunity squasher. You must think about their interests first.

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Oligo · 17/07/2011 21:10

I mean: think of YOUR interests first (see how wrong it sounded to say THEIR interests!).

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EldonAve · 17/07/2011 21:10

don't tell anyone

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Northernlurker · 17/07/2011 21:11

I have never ever met anybody who can say 'Oh I'm so glad I told work I was pregnant, it really enhanced my career.' Neutral is the best you can hope for but even that's a stretch for many employers unfortunately.

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hairylights · 17/07/2011 22:24

dont tell. You don't have to until 15 weeks before due date anyway.

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lateatwork · 18/07/2011 12:02

I dont understand about the timing and the imperative not to wait until 12 weeks? You say the plan would have been 'sorted out' but you say earlier that the panel (and I assume final decision) isnt until after the end of 'acting up' and that you wont be around for the panel decision anyway... (so here I assume that the final decision will be taken while you are pregnant...)

So, if I assume right, it would make no difference to your success at gaining this role if you were to wait another 6 weeks before telling them anything.

Also, if you werent to 'act up', what role would you be doing? When you do 'act up' what happens if you arent successful and dont get the permanent role?

I would be tempted to wait til 12 weeks (unless I am missing something...)... and forge ahead and do the 'act up' anyway- on the basis that it cant harm your career (in that it is good on your CV...), is good for the company (as clearly you are a good candidate otherwise they would not be sugesting and you can contribute a lot on 8 months...)... it also gives you a chance to prove that you can do it... to yourself and your company.

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SheCutOffTheirTails · 18/07/2011 12:07

Another vote for - DON'T TELL

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MovingAndScared · 18/07/2011 14:23

I wouldn't tell - especially as there is no garentee you will get the role at the end of the acting up - I really can't see why they need to leave for so long months - surely 3 or 4 would be sufficent to tell if you are up for it or not - and are you going to get paid at the rate of the promotion
and if your oldest is going to school in sept 12? then I guess its only going to be short periods of time you would need 3 lots of full time childcare - and your younger one would be starting preschool maybe?

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fatandknackered · 18/07/2011 19:11

Thanks all, viewpoints appreciated. Good to get some perspective. Think I have been overly worrying about what will be thought of me. There is only a few weeks at stake here, so I will keep schtum until the 12 week/scan mark.

Agree it is a it of a nonsense about "acting up" and then going through promotion panel etc, but that's just the way it is - nothing I can do about it. Suspect they will delay the promotion but I will deal with that in due course...